Are you really in your happy relationship, or are you just settling?
It’s a thought that may have crossed your mind at some point or another in a previous relationship, or maybe even with your current partner.
Well, if you’re unsure, Kristina Virro, a psychotherapist and couple’s therapist from Ontario, spoke on TikTok about the six things that truly happy couples do in their relationships.
‘There are six small things happy couples do based on my experience as a couple’s therapist,’ said Kristina.
‘I say these things are small but I genuinely believe that the accumulation of them makes a big impact on a relationship.’
It seems it really is the little things that matter.
The first tell-tale sign that Kristina mentions is creating ‘micro moments of connection’.
‘This could be giving each other a good morning kiss or giving each other a hug before the other person leaves for work,’ she said.
The second indicator is if you ask your significant other how their day has been.
She adds: ‘It’s really easy to forget to check in on one another when you just get lost in the hustle and bustle of life.’
This could be particularly true if you live together and sometimes take each other’s time for granted.
Number three is a big one, and you may be guilty of neglecting a time or two: active listening.
‘This means giving your undivided attention, asking questions and putting away your phone – huge impact,’ Kristina said.
This is so important for our mental health and connection that the British Heart Foundation even lists top tips for how to actively listen.
These include: facing the speaker and holding eye contact, listening to non-verbal cues like facial expressions, tone of voice and gestures, not interrupting, asking questions based on what is said and repeating what they’ve said to show them you were really listening.
This is key to any relationship, as Kristina shares that ‘closed mindedness and an unwillingness to turn inward’ can mean your relationship is doomed.
The fourth thing truly happy couples do is ‘giving each other loving attention and physical attention outside of sex’, according to Kristina.
These include ‘things like hand holding, back scratches and playing with your partner’s hair’.
‘Number five is showing appreciation. “Thank you for unloading the dishwasher today”, “thank you for picking our son up from school”,’ Kristina said.
‘It’s just about creating a loving, kind culture in your home.’
Last but certainly not least, happy couples will do ‘thoughtful things from a place of generosity’.
‘Bring your partner a cup of coffee in the morning, leave them a little love note,’ Kristina added.
She also shared more ways you can create moments of connection with your partner.
One way is to take joint work breaks if you both work from home, to allow you to spend time together.
Complimenting your partner may seem like an obvious one, but Kristina says the more specific the compliment the better.
And lastly, sending a simple ‘thinking of you’ text during the day is another way to show your partner you really care.
Do you have a story to share?
Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.
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