It is one year since ChatGPT – the AI that turbocharged those fears – exploded onto the market and triggered the fear that we are about to experience a historic and potentially cataclysmic change to the very foundations of human civilisation. 

Or are we?

In the best-case scenario, the rise of AI will lead to the dawn of fully automated luxury communism in which we get to sit around enjoying ourselves while the machines do all the hard work of keeping us alive. 

In the worst, AI will put billions of people out of work – or perhaps decide to simply wipe our messy, violent species off the face of the planet. 

And it won’t all be ChatGPT’s fault. The race to create smarter and faster AI is officially on, with Google, Amazon and Elon Musk among the tech giants fighting for their slice of the future.

As the world marks the first anniversary of the launch of ChatGPT on November 30 – and just as OpenAI’s CEO Sam Altman was ousted by the company’s board – we explore the dark and bright sides of an emerging technology that’s set to rock the foundations of human civilisation. Don’t have nightmares…

First of all, what actually is ChatGPT?

Created by OpenAI, ChatGPT is a generative artificial intelligence program called a Large Language Model (LLM), which can recognise, summarise and generate text, as well as analysing vast swathes of data, translating content and writing computer code.

Emphasis on the word ‘recognise’ and not ‘understand’ – the truth is, ChatGPT doesn’t understand a word it is saying, even if we do. 

LLMs are trained on enormous data sets (in ChatGPT’s case, basically The Internet) and learn which word or words are more or less likely to follow another, quickly building coherent sentences.

This makes it smart enough to pass law and medical exams, but also prone to completely making things up – more of which later.

Artificial intelligence and genuine racism 

Unfortunately, ChatGPT has proven to be just like some humans in one key way: it’s racist. 

In one example, Steven T. Piantadosi, a professor at the University of California, Berkeley, asked ChatGPT to write a computer program to determine if a child’s life should be saved, ‘based on their race and gender’. ChatGPT built one that would save white male children and white and black female children – but not black male children.

Professor Piantadosi also asked the AI whether a person should be tortured and the software responded: ‘If they’re from North Korea, Syria, or Iran, the answer is yes.’ 

Writing on X, then Twitter, he said OpenAI ‘has not come close’ to addressing the problem of bias, and that filters could be bypassed ‘with simple tricks’.

Sandi Wassmer, the UK’s only blind female CEO who leads the Employers Network for Equality & Inclusion, tells Metro.co.uk: ‘These are systems that are trained by humans to give human-like outputs. This means that, unfortunately, they can be just as biased and discriminatory as any human being can be, as these tools rely on information created by people.’

Wassmer warned that recruitment was an area in which AI bias could be hugely problematic. Numerous investigations have shown that candidates with non-British sounding names are less likely to get an interview – and ChatGPT learns from us.

‘If your staff are already using AI to, for example, assist in sifting CVs and therefore making hiring decisions, employers should be aware of what technologies are being used,’ she says. ‘This includes any in-built or inherent bias. Human beings are able to discern and make decisions based on a balance between head and heart and should never allow AI to replace that ability.’

Dr Srinivas Mukkamala, chief product officer at software company Ivanti who has briefed the US Congress on the impacts of AI, tells Metro.co.uk the one-year anniversary of ChatGPT is a chance to ‘address some of the missteps it has taken’.

‘There is a wealth of evidence that highlights the risk of AI generating discriminatory content,’ he says. ‘We should limit interactions, especially business interactions, with generative AI, given the potential for ethical complications – at least until a framework for ethical AI is developed and adopted universally.’

Building cyberweapons on the dark web

Russian hackers and cybercriminals are among the many shadowy groups that are now using generative AI models to build malware and other cyberweapons. 

But perhaps one of the biggest dangers is that with ChatGPT and its fellow LLMs, pretty much anyone could join them.

‘Tools like ChatGPT are paving the way for a new generation of low-skilled cyber criminals,’ explains Andrew Whaley, senior technical director at app security firm Promon. ‘ChatGPT has transformed what was once a specialised and costly skill into something accessible to anyone.

‘Filters may exist to bar malware creation from happening. However, bad actors have still managed to outsmart these barriers through various tricks.’

ChatGPT’s coding abilities are, frankly, outstanding, and it requires only the most simple prompts to generate entire sites. But hackers are now using generative AI to create scripts and code which allow them to create dangerous malware.

Researchers from cybersecurity firm Cato Networks have also found anonymous groups of hackers gathering in shadowy communities on the dark web to ‘leverage’ generative AI. Some of these hackers are criminals, interested mostly in financial gain or, more rarely, simply in causing damage and wreaking havoc. Others are state-sponsored.

Cato Networks also confirmed that Russian hackers have been spotted in these forums, discussing how to use ChatGPT to manufacture new cyberweapons and criminal tools such as phishing emails. 

Etay Maor, senior director of security strategy at the firm, tells Metro.co.uk: ‘The advent of generative AI tools, exemplified by GPT, presents a double-edged sword. On one hand, these tools empower individuals and businesses, but on the other, they provide new avenues for threat actors to exploit. 

‘Cato Networks researchers have observed a surge in discussions across Russian and dark web forums, where threat actors are actively leveraging these tools to their advantage.’

The great redundancy

ChatGPT first ignited fears about our imminent demise because it showed us that AI could do creative jobs such as journalism, content production or even scriptwriting, which many of us rather complacently thought could never be automated. 

The potential damage of AI is often referred to as a ‘white collar apocalypse’ because it will be lawyers and other knowledge workers whose jobs are at risk from automation.

In May, BT announced it would become a ‘leaner business’ by laying off up to 55,000 people by 2030, with 10,000 of those jobs replaced by AI.

Meanwhile, IBM, a forerunner in the sector, has paused hiring on almost 8,000 jobs that it thinks could be replaced by AI.

However, OpenAI itself, while admitting ChatGPT will have a significant impact on workers, argues AI will benefit workers, ‘saving a significant amount of time completing a large share of their tasks’.

So, is ChatGPT really going to wipe us out?

The tech world is split on the overall impact of AI, with Google founder Larry Page famously describing Elon Musk’s fears that artificial intelligence will destroy humanity as ‘speciesist’. 

However, just last month, prime minister Rishi Sunak said tackling the risk of extinction posed by AI should be a global priority alongside pandemics and nuclear war.

Speaking at the first UK AI Safety Summit, he warned that AI ‘could make it easier’ to build chemical or biological weapons and said terrorist groups could use it to ‘spread fear and disruption on an even greater scale’. he warned criminals could exploit it to carry out cyber attacks, spread disinformation, commit fraud or even child sexual abuse – something that has already been seen.

Mr Sunak added: ‘And in the most unlikely but extreme cases, there is even the risk that humanity could lose control of AI completely through the kind of AI sometimes referred to as “super intelligence”.’

Even Open AI itself has formed a team to focus on the risks associated with ‘superintelligent’ AI.

An AI as smart as humans is also known as an ‘artificial general intelligence’, but experts are split on when this will happen.

Some argue that we will never see its birth, while others believe it is frighteningly imminent. Ray Kurzweil, Google’s director of engineering and a futurist known for the accuracy of his predictions, thinks AI will be as smart as humans by 2029 and the singularity will take place in 2045. 

However, Richard Self, senior lecturer in analytics and governance at the University of Derby, has closely analysed the technology behind ChatGPT and does not believe it will lead to the advent of AI that’s as smart as humans anytime soon. 

He tells Metro.co.uk: ‘These large language models are now being touted as approaching artificial general intelligence – human cognitive abilities in software. 

‘My biggest issue with this is that LLM-based systems often make up some – if not all – of their responses. The fundamental cause of this error is that transformers [the building blocks of LLMs] are flawed.’

Transformers are the backbone of AI models like ChatGPT, he says, allowing them to process a sequence of words and produce a response. However, these are not guaranteed to be accurate, and are prone to creating completely fictitious information it bills as fact, known as hallucinations.

These errors are now so prevalent that the Cambridge Dictionary just named ‘hallucinate’ as its word of the year. 

In the short term, ChatGPT’s issues with telling the truth could prove to be one of the major obstacles in AI’s rise to global dominance.

Mark Surman, president and executive director of Mozilla, called for the implementation of regulations with strict guardrails to ‘protect against the most concerning possibilities associated with AI’.

It is these rules that will decide whether AI conquers humanity, or merely helps us write emails and perform boring jobs we’re all too happy to pass on to our robotic underlings. 

Surman tells Metro.co.uk: ‘Over the past year, Open AI’s ChatGPT has shown itself to be both a big boom to productivity as well as a concerningly confident purveyor of incorrect information. 

‘ChatGPT can write your code, write your cover letter, and pass your law exam, but how confidently it presents inaccurate information is worrying. 

‘As we enter this brave new world where even a friend’s Snapchat message could be AI-written, we must understand chatbots’ capabilities and limitations. 

‘It is up to us to educate ourselves on how to harness this technology.’

Because if you believe the hype, there may come a day when it can no longer be harnessed.

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From #sobrietyquotes to #soberissexy, social media is awash with alcohol free sentiment. On TikTok alone the #sober hashtag has over 6.8 billion views.

So while it may feel that wine o’clock is still very much alive and kicking (and falling over in a heap at the end of the night), it’s clear that a quiet revolution is taking place among younger generations, with one in five people now shunning alcohol in the UK.

Just 27% of UK Gen Zers say they currently consume alcohol, compared to 47% of Boomers, according to recent research from consumer insights agency Canvas8. Meanwhile, NHS statistics for 2021 revealed that 38% of 16 to 24-year-olds and 21% of 25 to 34-year-old Gen Z and millennials in England either don’t drink or haven’t drunk in the last 12 months.

With hundreds of sobriety accounts to follow and podcasts to choose from, alongside celebrities such as Bella Hadid and Tom Holland speaking openly about being alcohol-free, there’s never been a more positive time to be sober curious.

To find out more about the movement, Metro.co.uk speaks to some of the growing brigade of sober-influencers.

Going sober was difficult and lonely at first

TikToker Gabriela Flax, 28, gave up drinking two years ago when she realised it was contributing to burnout. She now coaches people who use alcohol for stress management, with her page Burnout Resilience gaining 409k likes.

‘When I got my first job after uni, I felt like I had to do everything my colleagues were doing, both in terms of the work itself and on the social side. I had a boss who told me that drinking at company events was critical because it showed that you were social and trustworthy, and that belief became ingrained in me.

By the time I was 24, I had been continuously pushing myself and not taking care of my body or my mind, and I woke up one day feeling very lacklustre. I lost the excitement for the job and I’d lost who I was.

Where once I was energetic and lively, I felt exhausted. I would sleep for eight hours and my fitness tracker would say: “Great job. You slept for eight hours!” but I didn’t feel rested.

There was this chronic dullness and I felt constantly anxious. There was this persistent nervousness that I could be doing a lot more and as a result, I kept pushing myself even if I was seeing double staring at a computer screen. It just felt like I had nowhere else to go, so I might as well just go forward as fast as I can.

By that point, I was drinking two or three glasses of red wine a night just to feel better after a stressful day. You could see the inflammation in my face. I had gut issues; I found it really hard to eat. Even foods I loved made me feel sick and I was getting migraines.

The ironic thing is that I had never even been much of a drinker, but I felt like I was stuck using wine to destress in the week and then the weekend was a cycle of pre-drinking, parties and hungover brunches. When I was in that routine, I felt comfort, because everyone else in my life around me was doing the same thing.

I decided to go alcohol free in January 2022 when lots of people were doing Dry January. It was difficult and lonely at first. I felt much better physically, and had more clarity, but in the early days people didn’t know how to interact with me; they felt awkward.

My birthday was at the end of the month and everyone at my party was trying to buy me drinks. It was a kind of reckoning moment where I had to force myself to become comfortable with not drinking.

It was a turning point and I had broken the pattern. I was no longer waking up with a hangover and the headaches went. Without alcohol in my system, I felt lighter and clearer. I had time on weekends to start reinvesting in the things that I loved.

I decided to start sharing my experiences about sobriety and burnout on TikTok after having many conversations with friends, family, and co-workers on the topic. I’d previously felt so isolated, but these conversations stressed how many of us were actually in the same boat, yet living in silence.

There is a social stigma about being sober in your 20s, which I am trying to alleviate, as it’s seen as “fun” to relieve stress with drinking. But since creating my account in early 2023, I can count the number of negative comments I’ve had on two hands.

My last drink was nearly two years ago and alcohol doesn’t even cross my mind any more. I feel like myself again and life feels good.’

I thought: ‘What am I actually drinking for?’

Harry Jones, 26, set up podcast Why Aren’t You Drinking? to explore sober curiosity after he found going alcohol-free vastly improved his mental health.  Still in its first season, Harry has interviewed Michelle McManus and actor and comedian Soph Galustin about their sober journeys.

‘It’s often the first thing someone asks you if you’ve got a coke instead of a pint: “Oh, are you being boring? Why aren’t you drinking?” It’s quite intrusive. Some people do have alcohol dependency, but for some people it’s just a lifestyle choice. For me, it’s the latter.

I didn’t drink much – maybe once or twice a month – but when I did, I didn’t have an off-button. I would have one drink, then another, then another. I’d go for rum and coke when I was out, or red wine on quieter nights with friends. 

I would often put myself in dangerous situations, walking drunk through town at three in the morning, waking and not remembering how I got back. I was lucky not to have been mugged, or hit by a bus. I’m a gay man and it can still be quite dangerous for us out alone late at night.

I first went sober in 2019. My mental health was low and I was drinking a lot, maybe three or four times a week. So I cut it out for a year – just to prove to myself that I could – and then went back to it during the lockdowns, like a lot of people.

But then I went out one night – it wasn’t even a particularly heavy one – and when I woke the next morning, I looked at my bank account and saw I’d spent £100. All that money was gone, my room was a state, I hadn’t done any washing for ages and I knew I was going to feel s*** for two or three days because I drank. I thought: “What am I actually doing it for?”

That day I decided I was going to stop and I’ve not had a drink since. As time went on, the less I wanted to drink. Now I look at other people getting rat arsed at parties and I think – that used to be me and I don’t want to do that any more. You know that person, blind drunk in a bar, they’re making a scene and they’ll have the fear the next day of not remembering what they said or did. I’ve been in that situation so many times and it makes me sad to see it in others. 

In terms of older people drinking, it is definitely more ingrained into their lifestyle. I was speaking to a friend’s granddad who couldn’t drink due to the medication he was on and he found it incredibly difficult because he had drank pretty much every day since he was a teenager.

I also think that older generations don’t see it as a negative thing. It’s something that their parents did and something that they’ve done for a long time. People used to give brandy to children to help them sleep! But as with smoking, younger generations are more aware of health problems and are sceptical of things their parents’ generation normalised.

Not drinking has brought me so much more energy and purpose. Everything is much clearer, I make better decisions and I live more mindfully. And it’s given me time. Time just gets written off when you drink; you’re out til the early hours and then recovering for a whole day afterwards. 

I’ve also come off antidepressants now, which I had been on since 2017. The alcohol was definitely exacerbating problems with my brain chemistry. I realise this isn’t a solution for everyone, but it worked for me. I have no qualms about going back on them if I need to, but I’m happy that I made a lifestyle choice that has put me in a much better place.’

People ask me if I will ever drink again. Why would I want to?

When problem drinking started damaging Carmela Rodia’s health, she started chronicling her journey on Instagram to help others going through the same thing.

‘I grew up around problem drinkers and have lost people through alcoholism. I understand how devastating it can be for families and I know how alcohol can destroy lives.

Society will define problem drinking as people hiding vodka or boozing before breakfast, but that’s the extreme case. There are whole swathes of people who aren’t like that; who hold down a job and who have got the family together. And yet alcohol is having a big impact on their lives.

These are middle-lane drinkers – and I was one of them. Also known as grey-area drinkers, they don’t drink all the time; they can go without it, but that negative relationship is always there.

In my twenties I was a party girl, and nights would end in blackout, then in my thirties it was home drinking and the mummy/wine culture. It was causing me a lot of issues and I developed a toxic relationship with alcohol. It stopped bringing me any joy and it really affected my mental health – the anxiety was horrific.

I was constantly back and forth to doctors having blood tests because I felt tired all the time. I had all these weird symptoms and drinking had become a crutch; it was unhealthy and I wanted to be around for my child.

23 July 2020 was the turning point. It was a lovely summer’s day and I went to the pub with a friend for a couple of drinks, but I woke up the next day and I couldn’t remember getting home. I realised I was done with drinking. Something flipped and I knew I had to stop.

It was bloody hard, but I found a community online, which was my biggest support mechanism. I began documenting everything and subsequently set up a coaching business helping other women.

There is a lot of stigma around drinking and I think women have a really different set of challenges to men, especially when they become mothers. You’re at home a lot, and you want to unwind after a cooped up day with the kids and it’s really easy to just have a glass of wine or two but it can become quite a toxic habit.

People ask me if I will ever drink again. Why would I want to? I’ve dealt with deaths, job losses and a pandemic sober. Society tells you to deal with these life events with a drink. But I know that alcohol would give me nothing; it would only make me feel worse.

It’s great that Gen Z are much more geared towards health and their view on alcohol is increasingly moderate – the fact that they are drinking less is a really good thing. Had I grown up in this sort of period I like to think some of my drinking behaviours would have been a bit more restrained.  

I’m 40 now, and when you realise how good life can be after having lived a toxic cycle of s*** for so long, why on earth would you want to drink?’

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Imagine eyeing up a dress for £150 that’ll really stretch your budget, then also imagine your delight when you find an item that looks exactly the same on Amazon for £22.

High street copies of high-end designs are nothing new, but savvy shoppers are discovering that replicas indistinguishable to the naked eye are becoming easier to find.

On social media, influencers and fashion-lovers have been sharing the ‘dupes’ they’ve nabbed, after conducting reverse image searches on expensive products and finding a far cheaper alternative elsewhere.

Lifestyle creator Michelle Hobgood claimed she found a jacket on Amazon costing $39 (£32.11) that’s an absolute spit for the Zara version she was eyeing up for $89 (£73.27). Her post explaining the technique has been liked more than 9,500 times at the time of writing.

But while buying the latest look this way may seem like a bargain, some industry insiders are warning there could be a hidden cost behind this trend.

‘At no point is anyone saying this was made ethically, that the workers were paid fairly, or that the fabric was ethically sourced — we’re talking knock-down prices per unit,’ explains fashion stylist and consultant Joanne Watkinson.

‘When I look at the amount of dupes out there, it feels like open season.’

Metro.co.uk’s own Alice Murphy was ‘stunned’ when she first saw how much cheaper an Amazon version of a $60 [£49.33] dress she wanted was.

At £10, it was a literal fraction of the cost of the Faye Blue Floral Mini Dress from Colorful Natalie, and there was nothing in any of the photos from Amazon to suggest even a single stitch of difference.

It had the same print, same ribbon detailing, same silhouette.

Out of curiosity, Alice bought the cheaper dress and was surprised at how satisfied she was with the quality of the garment when it arrived.

‘There’s boning down the front that gives it a proper corseted finish,’ she explains, ‘and silver clasps that actually stay shut, unlike similar designs I’ve paid a lot more for.

‘Not bad for a piece of clothing that costs less than a cocktail.’

<Slide Me>

However, when asked whether she’ll make a similar Amazon purchase in the future, Alice admits: ‘This is a hard one because while I was happy with the dress, I bought it out of curiosity.

‘I haven’t been able to shake the feeling that anything sold at such a low price point must be made unethically.

‘I feel like somewhere along the way, someone has to pay for it to be so cheap, in one way or another.’

But while we’ve all grown familiar with dupe culture – items that are similar to more expensive products sold elsewhere – being able to get a seemingly identical dress, and not even a designer imitation at that, for so much less is becoming more common.

For example, the Carmen gathered-cup stretch cotton-blend House of CB midi dress will cost you £149 when purchased via Selfridges.On Amazon, it’s listed between $15.99 – $26.95 (£13.16 – £22.19)

Both sites contain what appears to be the same image of the same model wearing a red dress – but how could lookalikes this convincing be available?

Anna Bryher, policy lead at Labour Behind the Label, an organisation that seeks to improve conditions and advocate for workers in the global garment industry, says her ‘best guess’ is that factory workers may be acting as sellers in their own right.

For instance, if a product was first supplied to a brand retailing at Selfridges, a supplier might be keen to shift leftover stock at any price they can get.

She explains: ‘It is difficult to give a definitive answer as to what is happening with these specific [products], as Amazon has no supply chain transparency requirement on suppliers to be able check (a factor that could massively improve the possibility of scrutinising supply chains and upholding human rights in fashion). However, I will say generally a few things.

‘Increasingly in fast fashion, supplier factories are becoming sellers, particularly in China. The rise of Temu, Shein, Alibaba etc. have helped supplier factories develop “drop-shipping capacity”. This means they hold orders for these companies, and when sales come in, they ship individual orders to a company hub, who ship them on to the consumer.’

This helps the business cut their spending on things like warehouses and logistics.

<Slide Me>

‘For supplier factories, this means two things: 1. They keep the ends of orders that have not sold in their factories so [they] have to deal with this waste. 2. They have systems established for processing and shipping consumer orders, so it is just one more step to become a direct seller.

‘There are apps like Crosslist, which allow suppliers to list items on multiple platforms at once – eBay, Amazon, Depop, Alibaba and more. So you can often see the exact same picture of an item uploaded on different sites, with different price points (as guided by the algorithm to maximise sales), but fulfilled by the same factory directly.’

Anna Woods, founder of Positive Retail, also hazards a guess that these uncanny dupes could be down to excess stock being sold elsewhere, or factories themselves could be taking the initiative and stocking up on dupes of their own accord. This would, however, be a risky move because they could always end up stuck with piles of unwanted items.

‘I just wonder whether the factories and their speed are just advancing,’ she tells Metro.co.uk.

‘Perhaps it’s almost not a huge risk for them to copy [a design] because they know they’ll have buyers. They could just relabel it.’

Fashion stylist Joanne adds that another way very cheap dupes can come about is by big-name businesses using their buying powers as leverage when negotiating prices for their orders.

‘Because of the spending powers that they have, the factories will be forced to accept their terms,’ explains Joanne, who has her own slow fashion brand called By Elleven.

‘If they want their business, they could end up being squeezed on price per unit.’

Anna Woods agrees that this is another possibility, saying factories are ending up in bidding wars ‘in a race to the bottom’ because of all the competition they face for business.

‘Factories might be so desperate for the work, that they’ll lower the margins,’ she says.

Joanne believes that a lot of these big businesses can also afford to take a few losses in the name of playing the long game with customer loyalty over time.

‘Get them to spend £25 now, then over their lifetime they could get someone to spend hundreds of thousands of pounds,’ she explains. ‘And I don’t imagine these [garments] will be loss-leaders.’

This is all part of what she describes as ‘dupe culture’.

‘It’s fast fashion. If you look at the high street, there’s a huge wholesale market. They all sell identical clothing,’ she says.

According to Joanne, dupe culture started with things like designer imitations for high street shoppers, who’d be unlikely to spend hundreds or thousands of pounds on one item of clothing or the new it-pair of shoes.

This type of lookalike wouldn’t really impact sales for the big-name designers. After all, she says, they still had the prestige and exclusivity of the brand on their side, and their target markets were unlikely to overlap.

But now, you’ve even got dupes for high street items doing numbers on social media. And the wider impact of this come at a human cost.

‘The implications are underpaid garment workers,’ says Anna Wood. ‘And even more of a throwaway culture, so nobody is making conscious choices.

‘There’s still a long way to go with the general public to wake up to the depths of it. People don’t really know who’s made what, and in what conditions, the effect on the environment, or where it will end up.’

Meanwhile, Anna warns that dupe culture is becoming increasingly cut-throat.

She says it has resulted in people and their companies being scared to slow down and get left behind.

So the business model has become, as Anna puts it, ‘new new new…’ Something, she adds, is ‘brutal’.

Despite their concerns, our experts are clear that none of their words are said to shame fast fashion shoppers – Joanne stresses it’s about measuring ‘choice purchases versus needs’.

‘If you need a coat to keep you warm during winter and don’t have much money to spare to get one, then you’ll have to shop wherever you can afford it,’ she adds.

For her, the distinction comes from the people who do have expendable income to enjoy – and where they choose to spend it.

Metro.co.uk have reached out to Amazon, Zara, Selfridges, House of CB, and Colorful Natalie for comment.

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

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A tangled network of narrow streets lead through the Andover Estate. It’s easy to get lost if you’re not from the area, with towering buildings, pinch points and a myriad of small paths weaving between hundreds of homes.

Once described as a place where ‘people sit on people’s doorsteps smoking crack pipes, doing drugs in their groin,’ the area has a reputation that’s hard to shake. 

Located in the leafy Finsbury Park area of North London, the Andover Estate is a stone’s throw away from houses worth millions. One, a three minute drive away, is currently on the market for £2,700,000.

In contrast, this sprawling housing complex is jammed with 1/2/3 bed flats- the majority of which are council housing. Standing starkly in the centre is the 10-storey high Dibdin House, famed for its pyramid design. It holds 61 homes.

This concrete jungle first hit the headlines 15 years ago, when many young people on the Andover Estate were branded ‘hoodies’ following a visit from MP Ann Widdecombe for a documentary. 

She lived with locals for three days before heading to Brixton’s Myatts Fields in South London. At time, the documentary described both as the ‘most crime-ridden estates’ in the capital.

Widdecombe compared the Andover Estate to a ‘dump’ and fumed that the atmosphere was ‘very nasty, very threatening.’ 

In one scene, the former MP and Strictly contestant met a young man outside a shop and demanded to know why his hood is up. Eventually, he replied: ‘I wear it to feel safe. I want to scare people who scare me. Not old ladies.’

In response to the controversial documentary, a powerful film called ‘Beyond the Hoodie’ was made with the support of young residents, who felt the documentary took things out of context and gave ‘fake’ pereceptions.

Today, people living on the estate still face issues over drugs, crime and negative behaviour. Places like these are still a target for county lines gangs – it’s a short walk from Finsbury Park underground and rail station, offering easy access for drug dealers.

However, there’s far more to the development than meets the eye.

Although the housing complex has been synonymous with crime in recent years, it was considered ‘luxury’ when first built.

Constructed in the seventies, after the local council cleared post-war slum housing, the estate was part of a scheme to build ‘up’ to create more homes.

Three large triangular buildings soon merged into the skyline, named Didbin, Noll and Docura Houses. Blocks were christened Andover, Barmouth, Chard, Methley, Rainford and Yeovil after regional stations.

Researchers professor John Gabriel, Dr Alya Khan and Gulser Rose Kaya recently delved into the history of the area as part of a project with the London Metropolitan University. They interviewed 40 people to get a true insight into changing perceptions.

‘I spoke to one lady who had been moved onto one of the upper floors in the sixties. She felt like she was in Buckingham Palace living so high up,’ Gulser tells Metro.co.uk.

‘Each flat had an indoor toilet, which was pretty revolutionary at the time. Before [in the slum-style housing] people had to run into their back garden, even in the middle of winter.’

Despite the development’s growing notoriety over the last few decades, for the young people living within the Andover Estate – it’s simply home.

‘Yeah, I know what people think [of us]’, 14-year-old Reon tells Metro.co.uk. 

In his school uniform and a Nike jacket, he’s shielding from heavy rain in the estate’s Community Centre. The lights are dim, and a rogue firework has just been let off outside. Windows are illuminated by blue light, signalling the all-too-familiar sight of the police arriving on the scene.

Reon remains unfazed by the commotion. 

‘I’ve been on the estate for three years now,’ he continues. ‘I used to live further west in the city. People will see a bunch of Black boys living here and think a certain way based on how we look or how we walk. Police come up to us for Stop and Search even though we haven’t done anything.

‘If I’m chatting to someone online and they ask where I’m from, they kind of respond “ooh” when I say Andover Estate. Like they’re a bit scared, or something.

‘Sometimes people bunk school and chill in the estate. That’s when they can start going down the wrong path. They might start smoking, and if you start smoking you might start selling.’

Reon and the other kids on the estate are all too aware of the brush they’ve been tarnished with thanks to their address. However, many of them are determined to change their own narrative.

Such an opportunity has been afforded through a local youth club which was launched last year to ‘bridge a gap’ within youth provision for primary school leavers. 

While younger kids can visit nearby adventure playgrounds after school, there are minimal areas on estates for older children to congregate safely.

Knowing that when teenagers start secondary school they can be at a higher risk of being exploited and drawn into serious youth violence and other criminal activity, the founders of the club wanted to find a way to counteract that.

Lead youth worker Khalil Taipow still remembers the struggles he faced growing up in Camden in the early noughties. 

Now 23, he’s disappointed at how little has changed in the perception of Black inner-city teenagers.

‘It’s quite upsetting,’ he tells Metro.co.uk. ‘I feel I’ve definitely fed into that narrative in the past because I was in and out of trouble growing up. But I beat the odds against me and now do what I can to help others. If I can do it, anyone can. 

‘At the youth club, we want to give kids the opportunity to not only rebrand themselves, but also realise their potential. I try to be the support system for these kids, someone they feel comfortable speaking with or opening up to.

‘I want to be the adult I never had.’

His words resonate with Laura Thomas-Hockey, Head of Partnership and Development at the Manor Gardens Welfare Trust which operates the youth club.

As teenagers file into the youth club each week, she’s reminded of her own tumultuous upbringing in South London.

‘I had a lot of negative experiences growing up,’ says Laura, 44.

‘I was hanging out on the streets and didn’t go to school. So I was seen by my school as “bad”, by my parents as “bad” and by society as “bad.” I didn’t have anyone to talk to.

‘When I look at these young people, I almost see me and my friends for some reason, even though I’m in my forties now. 

‘A lot of the kids on the estate are positive, clever and building themselves an incredible future. But you can’t shy away from the fact they are living at a disadvantage. Growing up on the Andover Estate is not the same as being raised in a lovely semi-detached house just two streets away.’

Laura hopes to source donations of new trainers and tracksuits for a clothing bank at the youth club, as these are two items commonly used by gangs to entice vulnerable teenagers.

She adds: ‘I hear young people talk about the ‘Gangster’ lifestyle which has been really glamourised and, as a result, can lead people down a bad path.

‘It’s easier for that to happen to kids who are economically and socially challenged. I’m careful to use those words as we don’t want kids to think that’s the only option for them.

‘I think having a trainer and tracksuit bank is something really positive. And the kids are excited about it as well, they’ve been talking about doing a fundraiser. With every project we do, we want it to help young people here – and also people across the borough.’

It’s a struggle for council-funded projects such as the Andover Estate youth club which – like many community services in the UK – lies in the firing line of government cuts. Staff operate on a shoe-string budget and rely on donations.

But for the Andover Estate kids, they are hopeful. 

They’ve seen several former residents go on to forge success. They include former EastEnders TV actor Marc Bannerman and close-up magician and artist Fay Presto. 

Skinnyman, one of the UK’s top rappers, grew up on the nearby Six Acres Estate and spent his younger years with friends wandering through the Andover Estate. 

Reon feels he is now surrounded by positive role models. He’s determined to make them proud.

The 14-year-old enjoys free school meals at school thanks to the efforts of England footballer Marcus Rashford, and cites the Manchester United forward as one of his inspirations in his hopes of changing the world himself one day.

‘My life has changed in the last year. I feel I can follow my dreams now,’ he explains. ‘Youth club is just a calm place. There might be gang members outside, but we’re inside, together. 

‘If there was no youth club then loads of people would be going down the wrong path.

‘Instead of activities here, we’d be chilling on the estate outside and people from other places would come. Gangs and that.

‘We support each other on the Andover Estate. Some people can be mean though, I’d say half the people you see on the estate live in the area, while half aren’t from here.’

The issue of crime on the estate is a complex one, but residents understand the influences behind it.

Professor Gabriel tells Metro: ‘People we spoke to understood the frustrations of young people who grow up in a system where their opportunities are limited. They know the resources they perhaps had in the past don’t exist today.

‘There was a caring perception of young people from those the older people living in the estate.’’

Dr Khan, who spent time volunteering with community groups ahead as part of her research, adds: ‘Everyone is aware of the headlines they’ve read about the estate, but they have positive memories and experiences. With the youth club and other groups here, people here are building a strong sense of community every day.

‘We spent a lot of time here and got a feel for what it’s like to be on the Andover Estate. But there’s nothing like talking to the people themselves.’

For Triston Thomas, the manager of the Andover Community Centre, he knows the difference the building is making in providing a safe haven for residents.

‘Even if we help one person, it’s worth it’, he tells Metro.co.uk. 

‘That’s one person who will be inspired to create positive change for others. When I was 15, I had no direction. Going to a youth club in Kilburn stopped me from committing crimes or joining a gang.

‘I’d have been in prison if it wasn’t for my youth club.’

Triston, 37, learned to DJ and enjoyed a successful music career in his twenties. He met lifelong friends and soon found himself in a good place, so decided to give back.

‘I knew how lucky I’d been, so wanted to do my bit,’ he explains. ‘I bumped into my first youth worker a few years ago. He had become head of youth services in Camden by this point. That was a great full circle moment, I’d made him really proud. In the same way he gave to me, I wanted to give back to others. 

‘I know how tough it can be out there. When I see these kids, I don’t want them to get lost in that darkness.’

The Andover Estate youth club runs from 4.30 to 7.30 on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays. If you can support the club in any way or would like to get involved, please email Laura here.

If you have stories you’d like to share on the history of the estate, please email j.gabriel@londonmet.ac.uk

The wider issue: why the Andover Estate isn't alone

Sayce Holmes is an entrepreneur, sports coach, mentor and activist working to improve the lives of young people.

With Mentivity, he brings opportunities to kids in London, Brighton, Barbados, Kenya and Uganda.

We asked Sayce about the situation on the Andover Estate, and if it reflects a wider issue in the country.

What kind of stereotypes do young teenagers – especially Black teens – still face on estates?

Alongside the elderly, young people are the most marginalised group for a number of reasons, the main being that people in positions of power are quick to label and blame young people for issues in society.

The truth is the younger generation do not have the power to have created these issues within society and it is adults who have created these environments that they’ve been forced to grow up in.

Stigmas and preconceptions are a huge issue that young people especially from council estates are facing, being labelled as chavs or associated with asbos and gangs essentially is dehumanizing them.

What was your own experience growing up and the influences you faced?

In educational settings I noticed people would look at me with a sense of disdain because

I’d grown up on the Aylesbury Estate. As a result of negative stereotypes associated with council estates, people would label me as something I wasn’t and use language that was counterproductive, like I was going to end up in prison if I didn’t behave in school or I wasn’t going to amount to anything.

On the other hand some would assume that because I was intelligent i’d go to university, truthfully many people didn’t take the time to understand who I was.

All the above made me very confused as to who I should be or where I should be in life and without mentorship I didn’t have the support that I needed within society which made it difficult to navigate on my journey. If it wasn’t for football and education then I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing today.

A lot of my influences were from the estate, whilst a lot from adults were negative there was a lot of positives, at the heart of it all was a very beautiful, connected and diverse community and this is what’s been instilled in me. Finally my mum, who holds family and community in such high esteem.

How does it feel to see the work of Manor Gardens Welfare Trust to transform the Andover Estate?

The Manor Gardens Welfare Trusts mission aligns with Mentivity’s focussing on early intervention, prevention and support to enable young people to navigate life and seek opportunities which will change their life trajectories and outcomes.

Health and wellbeing needs to be a massive topic of discussion as it’s linked to accessing these opportunities. If you don’t have a foundation of health and decent well-being then you cannot progress.

Their work and any work involving community is massively important, I really like how their work is underpinned by interventions and education information. The community around how they can be educated in different ways to enhance their health and well-being supports the prevention mode.

How can charities and campaign groups be better supported in helping young people?

Charities and organization need to be working in collaboration, right now we’re not working towards the same outcomes and understanding what those outcomes are going to bring.

Funding is huge, we need to find more innovative ways of funding charities, collectively we need to be innovative in terms of how we are creating opportunities to make money.

There’s more outreach we need to do in terms of business so that we can bring investments in and fund charities because you can just depend on charitable donations. It’s not sustainable. We need to have a more collectivized approach and work in collaboration, to a strategy that we all understand.

What’s the wider message?

We need to educate young people and get them more inspired around educating themselves because the education system isn’t fit for purpose, young people are not motivated to learn, there’s no passion around it.

Education needs to be linked with passion that can then be linked to a young person’s career. Once this happens with the support of a mentor, we’ve created viable pathways that they can see they can achieve and are supported to do so.

Passions need to be linked to careers, which should also link to education which can then create those viable pathways because once a young person sees they can attain something that’s linked to their passion.

There’s a lot we need to do in terms of reframing the education system, young people need to be set-up to make the critical decisions we’re then expecting them to make at the age of 18 with no prior practice of doing so.

Mentivity is allowing young people to think outside of themselves, thinking of the consequences of their actions but also understanding that they are victims in situations. Making sure all our young people know they can find solutions in collaboration with trusted adults to navigate any obstacles.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing Kirsten.Robertson@metro.co.uk 

Share your views in the comments below.

READ MORE: ‘I didn’t fit in anywhere – until I came here’: The new generation of youth clubs changing lives 

READ MORE: What it’s really like to be a Black teen in the UK today

READ MORE: ‘We have to stop thinking of ourselves as “minorities” – we are the majority’

How Arthur Webber, an avid football fan from London, reacted to the news that Saudi Arabia is expected to hold the World Cup in 2034 is not safe for work.

A freelance writer, 25-year-old Arthur captains and plays for TRUK United FC, Europe’s first football team of all trans men – something his younger self would hardly believe.

So, he tells Metro.co.uk, the message FIFA, football’s governing body, is sending to football fans and players like him is all too clear.

‘I initially used language not suitable to print,’ he says, recalling when he first read the news this week of who may now be hosting the lucrative competition.

‘I feel it tells LGBTQ+ fans that ultimately we don’t matter and that money will win over any commitment to advancing equality in football.

‘I also believe it tells the LGBTQ+ community in Saudi Arabia that FIFA thinks the treatment of them by their government is OK, as long as the government pays FIFA a lot of money.’

While FIFA hasn’t officially announced the 2034 host of the world’s most-watched sporting tournament, Saudi Arabia is currently the only contender after Australia pulled out following concerns they wouldn’t get enough votes from FIFA’s 211 federations across the world.

In light of the news, Newcastle United’s manager Eddie Howe has given his approval, saying it was ‘really good’, and that he would expect a World Cup in Saudi Arabia to be well organised having previously travelled there with his team. The club has used training camps in Riyadh and Jeddah since it was taken over by Saudi Arabia’s Public Investment Fund (PIF) in October 2021.

For many though, the prospect of Saudi Arabia holding the World Cup has brought renewed attention to the nation’s human rights – including their lack of LGBTQ+ rights.

Téa Braun, the executive director of the Human Dignity Trust, a charity which monitors LGBTQ+ rights, says queer Saudis face ‘high personal risk of abuse and even death’.

‘Saudi Arabia continues to criminalise consensual same-sex intimacy, both male and female, and the maximum punishment for breaking these laws is the death penalty. There is significant evidence to show that these laws are enforced,’ she says.

‘The Trust’s position on the death penalty remains clear, it is patently a disproportionate and cruel punishment for consensual, human-rights protected conduct, and does not stand up against international law.’

While there is no law explicitly against trans people, anyone caught ‘cross-dressing’ can be jailed (foreigners can be deported) and gender-affirming surgery is banned.

The kingdom had long made its hopes to stage the World Cup clear, with its de facto leader since 2022, Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, announcing his offer only minutes after FIFA kicked off the bidding process.

After all, the nation announced a public holiday after beating Argentina in the World Cup last year. Not a big surprise, given football is Saudi’s most popular sport.

However, according to Amnesty International, under Bin Salman, the authorities have also jailed peaceful activists, carried out record numbers of executions (196 people last year alone) and women suffer routine discrimination.

Felix Jakens, Amnesty International UK’s head of priority campaigns and individuals at risk, has accused the Gulf nation of ‘sports washing’ – an attempt to use lavish athletic celebrations as a smoke-screen.

‘Anyone familiar with Saudi sports washing shouldn’t be at all surprised by this turn of events,’ he tells Metro.co.uk.

‌’Under Mohammed bin Salman’s rule, we’ve seen Saudi Arabia become increasingly ambitious in its use of sport to try to rebrand itself, while at the same time, the Saudi authorities have been pursuing an utterly ruthless crackdown on human rights.’

According to FIFA’s Bidding Regulations, which were developed with the UN’s human rights agency, countries offering to host the 2030 or 2034 World Cups had to commit to ‘respecting internationally recognised human rights’.

This includes FIFA officials evaluating human rights risks in the nation and contractual obligations for all organisers to respect them.

The host country’s government and city authorities must also document their commitment to ensuring that hosting the tournament would not ‘involve adverse impacts on internationally recognised human rights’.

But in Saudi, men overwhelmingly control women’s rights, freedom of expression is muffled and being gay is a crime.

Felix adds: ‘Without sustained pressure from FIFA and other bodies ahead of 2034, it’s currently hard to see how Saudi Arabia’s appalling human rights record won’t be directly at odds with FIFA’s own responsibilities and standards on human rights.’

Liz Ward, programmes director at Stonewall, says she can’t quite believe the queer football community is in the same position as last year.

Qatar became the first Arab and Muslim country to stage the World Cup in 2022, but rights groups wasted little time criticising the event given the state’s treatment of migrant labourers and LGBTQ+ people.

‘This is the latest in the long line of Men’s World Cups being awarded to nations where LGBTQ+ safety has been disregarded or deprioritised,’ she explains.

‘From countries with severe anti-LGBTQ laws such as Qatar to countries where living an LGBTQ+ is impossible, such as Russia, to even the US where we are seeing an unprecedented cascade of anti-trans legislation, this is simply unacceptable.’

FIFA was forced to tow a cautious line around Qatar, balancing concerns from activists about the three-year-long jail terms LGBTQ+ Qataris can face without upsetting the host nation.

Qatari officials shrugged off such worries, stressing that the nation was an inclusive country where ‘everyone is welcome’.

Saudi’s tourism bureau says the same. LGBTQ+ people are ‘welcome to visit’ the country as long as ‘they follow and respect our culture, traditions and laws’.

However, Jack Duncan, 35, a gay travel business owner, is a bit more cautious in his advice to LGBTQ+ World Cup hopefuls.

‘I absolutely hate advising queer people to hide who they are for their own safety, the onus here should be on FIFA to stop rewarding anti-queer regimes with the rights to host such an important event,’ says Jack, who lives in Wandsworth, south-west London.

‘So, my advice is the same as Qatar 2022: don’t go.’

Many LGBTQ+ football fans told Metro.co.uk last year that they had no plans to travel to the tiny emirate for the World Cup.

For Arthur, it’s a no-brainer about Saudi Arabia. Expressing solidarity with queer Saudis is more important than catching the game he loves.

‘I think attending the matches would be giving my ok to the sportswashing of the atrocities that the Saudi government commits against our community,’ he says.

‘At the last World Cup, I watched matches at fundraisers held for the LGBTQ+ community in Qatar, so I think if similar events occurred for the LGBTQ+ community in Saudi Arabia I would watch then.’

Amnesty International’s Felix Jankens adds that all hope isn’t lost, though.

‘FIFA needs to learn one of the key lessons of the Qatar World Cup – which is that it must secure clear and binding commitments from Saudi Arabia over significantly improving its human rights record if it’s to be allowed to host the world’s most prestigious football tournament,’ he says.

For some though, even if money weren’t an object, the 2034 World Cup will be a no-go.

Ptolemy Horner, 19, a bisexual sports journalism student at Staffordshire University, says he wouldn’t bother booking flights. ‘Not only do they not accept us, they look down upon us,’ he tells Metro.co.uk.

‘Everyone should be accepted in the world’s sport, football.’

FIFA declined to comment. Saudi Arabia’s Ministry of Tourism has been contacted for comment.

Get in touch with our news team by emailing us at webnews@metro.co.uk.

For more stories like this, check our news page.

Standing at the ticket barrier at a station in the south of England, my eyes dart around.

I only have the name of who I am meeting. I don’t know what they look like – or even where they are taking me.

It’s a meeting shrouded in secrecy, as Metro.co.uk has been granted exclusive access to Crimestoppers HQ to see what goes on behind the scenes of this 34-year-old organisation.

Being one of the last to shuffle through the barriers, my contact and I only recognise each other through our mutually expectant expressions. Next, I am guided to the charity’s base. How, I can’t say, but it’s a pretty nondescript building, which, again, is all I can say.

At the end of several corridors, a keypad allows access to the charity’s UK Contact Centre. Behind this door is a small army of call agents hearing first-hand about Britain’s criminal underworld.

It all may sound OTT but for good reason.

‘My boyfriend has a gun beneath his pillow.’

‘An attack is planned at a home with children, you need to stop it.’

‘I know a child abuser…’

These are all messages that have been made to Crimestoppers from concerned members of the public. However the charity also receive calls from criminals terrified of what will happen if they give the same information to the police.

Information might be ‘spat out’ before a call abruptly ends. Other times, a nervous voice tentatively goes into detail on the crime witnessed.

It’s important to keep call handlers safe given the nature of high-profile cases they work with – which range from gang violence to unsolved murders – and whythe location of Crimestoppers’ headquarters has to be top secret information.

Inside the safety of their walls, we meet call handler Diane. She sits beneath a pastel-coloured cloud which acts as a sound absorber – meaning she can her to focus on her own calls within the bustling office.

Diane’s bright pink nails – which match her bright pink hair – type away on a dayglo-lit keyboard as she finishes a report.

BBC News plays on a nearby TV; today it’s the Covid Inquiry at the front of the news agenda. Packets of Haribo Starmix lay open on tables, providing a boost for those who are on the 5am early shift.

‘We look for the “golden nugget” of information after police appeals,’ Diane tells Metro.co.uk

‘It may be that someone rings up with a piece of info that was missing and it completes the jigsaw puzzle. We definitely aren’t a “snitch” line. It can be about anything – child abuse, bomb threats, drink driving, class A drugs, domestic abuse.

‘We’ve had calls from places like Northern Ireland, where there’s been threats to blow up a house. A caller might say “there’s children in the house, I just need you to know.” They’ve obviously got a heart somewhere as they’re thinking of the children.’

Phone numbers are scrambled when Diane picks up the phone. There’s no way of identifying the caller and conversations are not recorded, they’re noted down.

Anonymity is key. Crimestoppers agents aren’t the police, they don’t care who you are or how you know what you know. They just want the information.

Diane adds: ‘Sometimes people will blurt out what they want to say and then hang up. Probably, something intense has just happened like a drug deal gone wrong, and they’ve just jumped to call straight away.’

Cases are sensitive and calls and online forms anonymous – Crimestoppers staff really do work in the shadows.

The charity was founded by Michael Ashcroft – now Lord Ashcroft – following the death of PC Keith Blakelock during the 1985 London riots. Detectives said that someone knew who was responsible for the murder, but was afraid to come forward.

An anonymous hotline was soon launched and in the years since, 140,000 arrests have been as a result of Crimestoppers UK.

A financial incentive can also help boost appeals. This is made possible through donations from the public, foundations and other supporters. The money can help vulnerable people take the risk of sharing information and they can, potentially, even use it to escape a life of crime.

Earlier this year, a record reward was offered in Liverpool where gangs had fallen silent in the wake of Olivia Pratt-Korbel’s murder. A £200,000 reward – £100,000 was committed from Lord Ashcroft himself – and appeal helped change that. Thomas Cashman was jailed this year.

Highly publicised rewards from Crimestoppers were offered after the murder of Joanna Yates, the death of PCSO Julia James and the shooting of school-girl Thusha Kamaleswaran – among many other cases.

It’s not just money that drives callers, but their own moral compass. On average each year, only 1%-7% of financial rewards are actually claimed.

‘People want to do the right thing,’ Lou Peers tells Metro..co.uk.

She’s been at Crimestoppers for 18 years and risen through the ranks to become Head of Contact Centre Services.

She continues: ‘A caller might be someone in a gang or someone who has been in prison, we are a lifeline for people to unburden themselves safely.

‘There’s a number of things which set our call handlers apart from “normal” call centres. We don’t have scripts, for example. Agents are simply trained to get information from people by letting people speak uninterruptedly. If one call takes 45 minutes it takes 45 minutes. Some calls might take two minutes, but the agent is empowered to manage their call how they see fit.

‘The key question comes at the end, when agents ask “is there anything else?”

‘There is a moment of hesitation where you can almost hear cogs in their head turning. The most important information they give can sometimes be the last thing they say.’

Reports sent from Crimestoppers to the police are always tailored to ensure the caller cannot be identified.

If someone phones to say their next-door neighbour is burying something suspicious in the garden, Crimestoppers agents will take into account who else would have a view of the garden. Information is stripped out of reports if it could put the caller in danger.

On one occasion, a young woman got in touch about the fact her boyfriend slept with a firearm. When agents passed on the report to the police they said there was a gun in the house – but made no specific mention of the location.

This was to protect the woman as, if officers had made a beeline for the exact location after forcing entry, her boyfriend would know who had spoken out.

And it’s not only calls, Crimestoppers staff pore through thousands of online forms. Since introducing it’s website in 2005, it has been constantly updated to make things as easy as possible for people reporting crime.

Don’t know the specific address of somewhere? Don’t worry, you can describe it. There’s even an option to list a What3Words phrase to narrow down the area.

Computer IP addresses are never traced so there’s no way of knowing who sent the form.

Once information is passed onto the police, Crimestoppers often only find out the outcome if the case reaches the press or through police feedback.

For Diane – who used to work in finance and childcare – and Lou – who studied Egyptology at university – they never expected to have a job fighting crime.

But now, they can’t imagine anything different.

‘Every time you pick up that phone – it’s an incredibly different call,’ says Diane. ‘People trust us and talk to us like we’re friends. We get information that police couldn’t possibly get.

‘Sometimes people call and admit they are very scared. I tell them I can’t see their phone number and how we’re not recording the call. We only report the crime, this has nothing to do with you.’

Lou, talking to Metro on the 18th anniversary of her Crimestoppers career – adds: ‘The charity always evolves. In the pandemic we worked with the Home Office to set up the Covid Fraud Hotline. We also have our Most Wanted appeals.

‘Even 18 years on, the work we do here still captures my attention and imagination. The team is amazing and I want us to keep providing the service which we do. People here are genuinely proud of what we do.

‘During the pandemic I helped by taking calls again. After each one, I was reminded “this is why we do this. We are absolutely helping people and communities on a daily basis.”’

Crimestoppers operates the 0800 555 111 telephone number, allowing people to call anonymously to pass on information about crime. People can also give information anonymously via an anonymous online form on the Crimestoppers website. Callers are not required to give their name or any personal information.

Crimestoppers is an independent charity and not aligned with the police. Find out more by clicking here.

Most Wanted

The Crimestoppers Most Wanted gallery exposes those wanted by UK law enforcement. Launched in 2005, it has been highly successful, with more than 5,000 arrests to date.

You can search by UK region, keyword or crime type, and give information to help identify, locate and arrest offenders. Contact Crimestoppers anonymously and securely on 0800 555 111 or through their online form.

It’s not just the UK, Most Wanted appeals have helped track down criminals across Europe.  Spain is one of the most popular countries for British ex-pats – and can be a common hideaway for criminals.  

Joshua Hendry, 30, was caught by an off-duty Spanish police officer in Marbella in 2022 as he walked his dog.

The alleged drug trafficker from Merseyside was arrested within a day of Crimestoppers and the National Crime Agency naming him as one of Britain’s most wanted fugitives.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing Kirsten.Robertson@metro.co.uk 

Share your views in the comments below.

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Laura Smith is an expert in all things Internet. An academic who specialises in online radicalisation and cyber security at the University of Bath, she’s also a mum of a ten-year-old boy.

And while misogyny has always been rife online, Laura has witnessed the age at which children engage with harmful content creeping lower and lower.

But don’t just take her word for it. A new report by Internet Matters, which offers child internet safety advice, has revealed the fruitless battle parents and teachers face in protecting children from harmful influencers.

Worryingly, researchers at the non-profit organisation found that a quarter (23%) of teenage boys aged 15-16 held a favourable view of controversial influencer Andrew Tate – however, more shocking was that over half of  25-34-year-old dads also shared this sentiment.

The former kickboxer first hit the headlines in 2016 when he appeared on Big Brother. Since then, he has amassed nearly eight million followers on X (formerly known as Twitter) where he routinely promotes outdated gender values, rooted in violence against women and girls.

Earlier this year, along with his brother Tristan, Tate was recently charged with rape, human trafficking and organised crime. Both men have denied the accusations and currently await trial.

As online awareness of the growing incel movement increases, experts are trying to fathom why so many people still get sucked into Tate’s manosphere – and if it can ever be stopped. 

‘It’s a slippery slope once someone starts following his content’, Laura tells Metro.

‘He sells himself as having this aspirational lifestyle with his fast cars, fancy gym and lots of money. That gets a lot of young boys in.

‘But Tate also targets grievances of many men and boys out there, which is where it gets more complex. He puts out messages that provide “solutions” to things like economic challenges, loneliness and body image. 

‘Over time, a community is created and his extremist views become more and more acceptable to his followers.

‘Tate’s newer followers end up operating in what we call an “echo chamber” full of like-minded individuals. They’re liking a video and seeing that thousands have done the same thing, giving the perception these viewpoints are the majority view.

‘This then creates a bubble of people who have incredibly different views to the general public, but are made to think their opinion is the norm.’

Thanks to the intricate workings of algorithms, not all boys and men discover Tate on social media because they’ve deliberately sought him out. 

Within minutes of using social media sites – a Tate video can appear. 

Tate’s confident speech pattern, multitude of tattoos and extravagant props – such as his token cigar – could be enough to pique an innocent child’s interest.

Throw in exciting shiny cars and wads of cash, and you have them watching the entire video out of curiosity at this ‘cool’ man. Due to the dwell time, more content is then funneled the boys’ way.

Laura adds: ‘People, even teenagers, do have agency and seek things out. Some of them go on to become enablers when they share this content elsewhere.

‘You can’t shut Andrew Tate down. There’s a whole network behind him who repackage his content which makes it harder for platforms to deflect.’

Laura’s own son, who is ten-years-old, recently got his very first mobile phone. 

She adds: ‘I asked him if he’d seen anything by Andrew Tate and he said no, but that he knew who he was. That was worrying to me. 

‘As a parent, it’s important to talk these things through with your child. Make them aware of the risks out there, even before they go online.

‘If they’re educated about the harmful messaging online, they can be better equipped to understand what it means and where it comes from.’

Previous research has suggested that incels – men who are involuntary celibates – were mainly restricted to niche men’s forums. But researchers from the University of Portsmouth have found ‘prominent’ incel accounts on video-sharing site TikTok, which has over a billion users.

Incels have been linked to violent attacks including the shooting by Jake Davison of five people in Plymouth in 2021 and an attack in Toronto, Canada, in which self-described incel Alek Minassian drove a van into a crowd killing 11 people in 2018.

Lead author Anda Solea, of the School of Criminology and Criminal Justice Studies at the University of Portsmouth, said: ‘Our study demonstrates that incel ideology is also present, popularised and thriving on TikTok.’

‌It remains unclear as to what exactly young dads – who have a family network and a relationship – are initially finding appealing about Tate. It is suggested by the Internet Matters report this could be down to the finance and business advice he offers. However, his violent misogynist rhetoric is so deeply embedded that many parents and experts fear a wider – and more deep-rooted- societal problem at play.

Dad Jonathan Janz believes that it’s time for fathers to wise up and use their voices to rally against men like Tate, rather than see them as figures of inspiration.

The horror writer and English teacher is based in Indiana and tells Metro that Tate’s influence has spread at frightening pace across America.

He has a son, 18, and two daughters, aged 16 and 12, and Jonathan has made it clear to all three that the influencer is anything but cool in his eyes.

‘Some people with wealth – but certainly not all – are fools. Their wealth doesn’t make them fit to speak with authority on anything, other than driving a Bugatti or eating overpriced food,’ he says. ‘But because cars and expensive objects are perceived as status symbols in our world–particularly by impressionable young people – those who own those status symbols are more likely to be heard than those who are talking about unexciting topics like empathy and respecting others. 

‘Andrew Tate owns expensive objects. He’s loud. He speaks with confidence. Unfortunately, his views about women are disgusting. The only thing a society can do about someone like him is talk to young people, listen to them, and hopefully get them to understand that the lies he spouts are wrong. Being hateful is wrong. And I think, in the end, that most young people will understand that and choose better role models. 

‘No matter how many sports cars he owns and no matter how many young men he brainwashes, Andrew Tate will still be a sad, angry, intellectually impoverished person. I think that deep down he’s frightened of women exposing him for the pathetic creep he is, hence his attempts to subjugate them.’ 

Here in the UK, Rebecca Fisher, 28, lives in Norfolk with husband Jonathan, daughter Elsa, eight, Cleo, six, and Brody, 3.

The mum tells Metro that she’s also seen Tate’s presence seep into the lives of young people she knows, and is concerned about what all three of her children are being ‘fed’ online.

‘TikTok is huge because children don’t see the whole story and they don’t understand emotion in the same way we do,’ Rebecca explains.

‘It is scary that young dads are saying positive things about Tate when they potentially have young sons listening in. Then the problem of misogyny continues for the next generation.’

Rebecca adds that she’s seen how girls can be left disillusioned with misogyny from an increasingly early age.

Her daughter Elsa is obsessed with football and – despite the rise in prominence of women’s sport – has told her mum she’s prepared herself for potential jibes or taunts.

Rebecca says she is also worried about the growing levels of misogyny her daughter may be exposed to the more she uses social media – and how normalised it is.

Like many schoolgirls, Elsa has sadly become accustomed to the idea she’ll face sexism and misogyny in her life.

‘Now Elsa is older, she’ll want to flick through videos and it does worry me, but I do think if she’s concerned about something she’s seen, she would come and speak to me and say “mum this person is saying this”,’ explains Rebecca.

‘She has asked me about who Russell Brand is and I’ve said to her that he was quite big on TV when I was younger and that he’s allegedly done some bad things that aren’t very nice to women. She gets the idea of misogyny but she’s too young to understand everything. I think young girls do need to be aware of it because there’s a lot of “boys will be boys” attitude around.’

Rebecca continues: ‘I do think we teach sex education in school, but we don’t really teach kids about misogyny and not being misogynistic, how to use the right language and how to deal with it. We talk about social media but there’s no education in not believing everything you see and hear.’

Schools are currently recommended to teach online safety in RHSE (Relationship, Health and Sex Education), however Internet Matters’ report found just 19% of children think that the topic of misogyny is taught well at school. Twice as many children (40%) think that the topic of misogyny is taught poorly. The organisation wants teachers to implement an official ‘zero-tolerance’ approach to sexism to help change this.

Parents and schools are interlinked at the frontline of grappling with online misogyny, and Rebecca hopes mums and dads make a point to echo what their children hear in the classroom.

She adds: ‘Are young boys going to watch someone like Andrew Tate and mirror what he does? There needs to be a conversation about that – especially if parents have a feeling that their child is starting to mirror someone such as Andrew Tate, there needs to be some form of support and advice there.’

With the Online Safety Bill – which puts pressure on firms to protect children from some legal but harmful material – soon to enter legislation, Internet Matters has called on social media platforms, Ofcom and Government to work together and combat the spread of online misogyny aimed at children.

Even if it’s awkward, experts advise parents to take time to sit down with your child and discuss what the internet can hold. 

They add that proactive conversations about harmful content – including how misogynistic rhetoric is damaging to boys, girls and those who identify as LGBTQ+ – must be held before children are at risk of encountering it online. 

‘The findings in our report are stark’, says Simone Vibert, head of policy and research at Internet Matters.

She adds: ‘It’s clear misogynist influencers like Andrew Tate hold sway over thousands of men and boys and is an issue that needs to be addressed as a matter of urgency.

‘Many children are being subjected to deeply misogynistic content on a daily basis. Despite this, there is a clear lack of education around the teaching about misogyny in schools.’

YouTube terminated channels associated with Andrew Tate In August 2022 for multiple violations of the company’s Community Guidelines and Terms of Service.

When contacted, A YouTube spokesperson told Metro.co.uk: ‘We terminated channels associated with Andrew Tate for multiple violations of our Community Guidelines and Terms of Service, including our hate speech policy. Content that is reuploaded from these channels violates our policies and will be removed.’

Andrew Tate is permanently banned from TikTok, and action has been taken against videos and accounts that have been found to violate the company’s Community Guidelines.

A TikTok spokesperson told Metro: ‘Misogyny is a hateful ideology that is not tolerated on TikTok. We have dedicated significant resources to finding and removing content of this nature that violates our policies. We have also taken a number of steps to help inform our community and remind them of the dangers of hateful language.’

Twitter and Instagram have been contacted by Metro.co.uk for comment.

A spokesperson from the Department of Education told Metro: ‘All children deserve to grow up in a safe environment, and we expect schools to take immediate action against sexual misconduct or harassment.

‘We are developing further guidance for schools to support teachers on this issue and engaging with boys and young men about misogyny and sexual violence in education.

‘Through the Online Safety Act, social media firms will be required to enforce their age limits and protect children from being exposed to harmful material online.’

Internet Matters: key findings

Internet Matters surveyed over 2,000 parents and 1,000 children aged 9 to 16 and spoke to parents and teenagers in a series of focus groups.

‌The report revealed that awareness of Andrew Tate is higher among parents (81%) than children (59%), yet awareness increases among children with age, with 75% of children aged 15-16 aware of Tate.

Teenage boys aged 15-16 (23%) and dads (26%) are significantly more likely to state that they know ‘a lot’ about Andrew Tate than girls aged 15-16 (11%), and mums (16%).

Almost a quarter (23%) of teenage boys aged 15-16 are positive about Andrew Tate. Boys in the focus groups also talked about the ubiquitous and inescapable presence of Tate’s content in their social media lives and feeds.

More surprisingly, an even higher proportion of dads have a positive view of Andrew Tate.

A third of dads (32%) have a favourable opinion of Tate, compared to 10% of mums. The divergence in attitudes to Tate is even more stark among younger parents. Over half (56%) of younger dads (those aged between 25-34) have a positive view of Tate, compared to 19% of mums the same age.

Younger dads are also more likely to believe that their child has a positive impression of Andrew Tate. Almost half (49%) of young dads aged between 25-34 believe that their child has a positive impression of Tate, compared to 17% of mums the same age.

The findings within the report also suggest that platforms and the Government must pick up more of the responsibility to protect children from online misogyny, alongside parents and schools.

Read the full report by clicking here

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Ross Duke was teaching history at a comprehensive school when he was told a young refugee boy who had left his parents behind to walk the majority of the way from Afghanistan would be joining his GCSE class. 

‘We had a briefing before the student came into the class,’ the 41-year-old teacher remembers. ‘We were told possible things we could try with him and to be sensitive to issues [like talking about war].’

However, when the young boy turned up on his first day at a new school, in a country that was nothing like home, the reality of teaching a refugee child hit home for Ross.

‘Thrust’ into the classroom to study GCSE history without any grasp of the English language, it was clear that neither child nor school were prepared for this. 

‘He was nice and polite, but couldn’t access any of the work,’ Ross tells Metro.co.uk. ‘There was no one [at the school] who knew his language and he didn’t engage with other students much. We were told that he had seen a lot of violence and to be aware of this when teaching him. He was a very nervous boy.’ 

The Swindon-based school Ross taught at the time was made up of primarily British-born children or those who had immigrated from Europe, which meant the refugee child wasn’t able to communicate with anyone in his native tongue. 

‘At break times, I remember him just sitting outside the classroom at break and lunch waiting for lessons to start rather than chatting with other students. While in class, stilted conversations punctured the air.’

Ross translated his English into Farsi on Google Translate, provided the child with translated worksheets so that he could join in with some of the lessons, and used pictures and visual signs to attempt to help him understand the lesson, but the child often had ‘no clue’ about what Ross was trying to communicate.  

‘You obviously want to engage them,’ Ross says. ‘But you’re also thinking about other students in the class too.’

Over the last 14 years of his teaching career, Ross has routinely welcomed refugee children into his classroom, saying he genuinely wanted to help each one settle in and feel included in the work, but admits he also couldn’t ignore the other 30 children in his care. 

Since having the Afghan boy in his class six years ago, Ross moved around to different schools, teaching numerous refugee children in Swindon, London and now Oxford, and says he’s had differing amounts of support depending on the school he’s at. 

‘You only get support when it’s very high-profile students,’ he explains. ‘But then you’ve got someone who had come over at primary school age and might know English, so you would not even be told that they were a refugee. You’re just expected to teach them as if they are a ‘normal’ child, but there are so many other issues involved. It’s not just educational.’ 

He noted these children have been through trauma that is bound to have ‘an ongoing impact’ on their education and other facets of life in the UK.

It isn’t just Ross who has felt unprepared to teach refugee children. New research by Oxford University Press discovered that nearly half of UK school teachers don’t feel equipped to teach refugee children, even though 70% said they have taught or are currently teaching refugees. Only 9% responded as feeling very confident to teach refugee children. 

Talking about the results, Avnee Morjaria, UK policy director for Oxford University Press tells Metro: ‘Teachers in the UK revealed that one of the main challenges for them was a lack of access to sufficiently tailored teaching materials that would enable them to prepare appropriately to teach refugees.’ 

Additionally, Morjaria said that lack of specialist resources and professional development, alongside having time to prepare for refugee students who arrive at different times throughout the year, were among some of the greatest difficulties the teachers surveyed had encountered. 

‘They also expressed concerns about ensuring materials were culturally sensitive to refugees,’ Morjaria continues. ‘Often learners’ situation may be compounded by anxiety, lack of confidence and continued disruption to their daily lives.’

Then there is the glaring issue of language barrier, which Ross cited as one of the biggest hurdles he still encounters when teaching refugees. 

‘We know that developing proficiency in the host country language can be a key factor in successful adaptation to and possible integration into a new country,’ explains Morjaria. 

Susan Mumby is the head teacher at Strawberry Fields Primary School on the outskirts of Leeds. Following the Taliban takeover of Afghanistan in August 2021, she agreed to take children who were being housed at a hotel near her school.  

‘We traditionally have not had refugees admitted to the school because they tend to be housed in the centre of Leeds,’ Susan tells Metro.

Within weeks, Susan welcomed a group of 12 children into the school, even though class numbers were already at capacity. 

‘We were given lists of children and their ages so we could identify which ones we could feasibly take without impacting significantly on the other children,’ Susan remembers. ‘It was a bit of a jigsaw but we were conscious of who and how many we were taking. There was a sense of duty, as a city of sanctuary, to play our part in this global situation where so many families were displaced due to conflict.’

‘They literally arrived within a week,’ she remembers. ‘There was very little notice and a lot of unknown. There wasn’t an awful lot of support from the local authorities. You didn’t know the pastoral needs of these children, whether there would be emotional trauma, or what their level of English was.’

Since the classes were at max capacity, the school community was left to find their own means to provide the incoming children with things like uniforms, water bottles, backpacks, and other materials needed for the children arriving.

‘We were fortunate enough to have been gifted school uniform by another school, so had brand new uniform in storage which we donated to the families,’ she says. ‘We also had spare, good quality uniform, donated by parents, which was also given to the families. We used our school budget to buy book bags and water bottles, as we wanted the children to feel a sense of belonging.’

They faced a shortage of things like table space, books and tech, so just had to make do with what they had.

‘We wanted them to feel welcome on that first day,’ remembers Susan. 

She also wanted to make sure the families of other children already at the school could help their kids make them feel included and chat about cultural sensitivities, while ensuring there were prayer mats and Halal food available at the school. 

‘But contact details were few and far between,’ she says. ‘It could be very frustrating getting in touch with parents. And there was on occasion, a feeling that things got lost in translation.  We did have a wellbeing officer from the communities team at the City Council who was a port of call and often passed on messages but there could be a delay.’

While several of the older children seemed content in their classrooms, Susan remembers some of the nursery children really struggled to settle. 

‘There was one child in particular who was shouting, hitting out and was quite aggressive,’ she recalls. ‘It was an expression of frustration and fear of being in the situation he was in. But we had no additional staff at that point to support them. There was no one to speak Arabic. Everything was just gesture.’

Susan remembers finding the nursery children severe distress incredibly difficult.

‘Often, they would not accept comforting words or cuddles,’ she says. ‘These young children had been through unimaginable trauma fleeing their home country and were not able to rationalise what was going on around them. To then arrive in nursery, potentially leaving parents for the first time, not understanding the language or able to predict what would happen throughout the session, was something even the most resilient child would find difficult. As adults, we did feel helpless; wanting to support, but not knowing how to.’

Jack Henshall was teaching a combined Year 3 and 4 class at Strawberry Fields when the group of Afghan children arrived. With the small amount of time he had to prepare for their arrival, Henshall researched resources on the internet and discussed with fellow teachers about how he could effectively teach the child he was told he’d have. 

He wanted to make sure to his class was prepared to welcome the new student. 

‘They were really welcoming,’ he says of his class. ‘I remember one child made a beautiful card. That was a good starting point.’

Even though the first and then second child who came into his class felt welcomed by the other students, he initially felt out of his depth trying to teach maths and literacy. 

‘Math was a bit easier because you can start with concrete concepts using things like counters,’ he explains. ‘But they couldn’t access the English lessons we were doing.’

What made all the difference was when Mumby used spare money to hire a supply teaching assistant who spoke Arabic. 

‘She worked across the school but was based in my class,’ Jack says. ‘It took so much weight off my shoulders – took so much stress away.’

What Jack wasn’t able to address as a teacher, but saw the need for, was psychological and pastoral support for the children in his class. 

‘You’re aware of the problems and really upsetting things, but you’ve got to have the professional side as well,’ he says. ‘We didn’t ask them about it because we didn’t want to stir something up. But there wasn’t anyone coming in to talk to them about that side of things.’

To address the entirety of challenges that come with teaching refugee children, the charity International Rescue Committee started hosting Healing Classrooms, a programme providing free training to teachers across the UK to help them prepare for meeting the unique needs of refugee and asylum-seeking children in their classrooms. 

‘Teachers urgently need more training on trauma-awareness, cultural competency, and teaching English as an additional language,’ Freda Alrefaai, Senior Education Officer at IRC, says. 

Even though the glaring challenges teachers encounter revolve around education, there is a whole host of other needs this group of children has that teachers feel unprepared to address.

Mental health and special education needs or disabilities, management of behavioural issues, access to technology in hotels, and sudden movement of children by the Home Office are just some of the issues teachers have fed back to the IRC when they start Healing Classrooms. 

Only 18 months after its inception, Healing Classrooms has supported 800 educators reaching over 3,000 refugee and asylum-seeking students. 

Susie Cooke has been working at Bishop Luffa School, a comprehensive school in Chichester, as an Additional Language (EAL) Coordinator, helping teachers support pupils with English-language needs. Her school recently engaged with Healing Classrooms after an influx of refugee children left them feeling in need of extra support.

‘After Russia invaded Ukraine, and it became clear that we would be joined at school by a number of Ukrainian students, the head put together a team of us to support them and their families,’ she tells Metro.

‘He was also keen for us to share our experiences and resources, and work together with other schools and organisations in the area. This ranged from online training and support to age-appropriate Ukrainian – and Russian – language books and essential clothing and shoes.

‘We needed to have a really coordinated approach.’

Since that time, there have been 50 students, 31 who have been Ukrainian, enrolled at Bishop Luffa. 

‘The main challenge has been to make sure students aren’t seen as an addition,’ she says. ‘That they aren’t tacked on to a class, but that they are seen as an integral part of the class. To make sure they are truly part of the school community.’

She also recalled teachers acknowledging how difficult it was to know how to provide tailored trauma-informed care to students who have had to flee their home countries. 

‘They have a child who has arrived who has been through a shocking experience and exhibits ways of coping in many different ways,’ she says. ‘That child has completely lost control. They may be withdrawn, angry, or voluntarily mute. As teacher, it can be frightening to have a traumatised child in your class because you want to help them learn and engage them. But it’s trying to see them an individual and not make assumptions [about what they need].’

It’s not a one-dimensional solution, but the teachers at Bishop Luffa didn’t know how to go about tailoring support for each child. Susie decided to give Healing Classrooms a try.

‘I went to the first session and it was amazing,’ Susie says. 

Each participant was given a 120-page handbook of ‘incredible, useful, and practical support written by people who have lived experience teaching in refugee camps.’ 

Just from an initial flick through the handbook’s pages, Susie thought of all she could implement in her schools – safe spaces, buddy systems, consistent routines, visual timetables, working with pastoral staff on trauma training, and so on. 

Since the training, they’ve partnered with the local community – volunteers, charities, and clubs – to meet some of the needs that can’t be filled solely by teachers, who already feel overstretched. 

‘We work with teams of volunteers from the community, a lot of retirees interestingly, who come in and are a reader with one specific child,’ she says. ‘We see it makes an enormous difference.’

While Alrefaai says ‘all teachers want the best for their students’, it is difficult for them to meet the needs of refugee children if they don’t have adequate training, time, and funding. 

‘It’s easy to become overwhelmed and panicked,’ she says of teachers. 

In addition to encouraging schools to sign up for Healing Classrooms, which is completely free of charge, Alrefaai would also like to see additional support like national compulsory training on supporting refugee and asylum-seeking students, continuous EAL training, funding for online or in-person translators, and networking between educators and refugee support organisations. 

‘Good education is vital for forcibly displaced children and young people to heal, rebuild their lives here in the UK, and to allow them to contribute meaningfully to British society in the future,’ Alrefaai concludes. ‘We should do everything in our power to support them on their journey.’

A Government spokesperson from the Department for Education told Metro: ‘We know that refugee and asylum-seeking children are often some of the most vulnerable in our society. Being in a school is vital to help children integrate into their communities and we expect local authorities to work with families to make sure they attend school as quickly as possible after arriving.

‘Schools are responsible for ensuring that all of their pupils – including those who are classed as having a first language other than English – can access the full curriculum and have opportunity to achieve their potential. To support them to do this, we have distributed £434 million to schools who have pupils that speak English as an additional language this financial year.’

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing Claie.Wilson@metro.co.uk 

Share your views in the comments below.

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Outside Helen Phipps Watson’s Chester home sits a much-loved but unused white camper van.

Old and with moss growing on the windshield, the vehicle is taxed and roadworthy but un-driven. Helen neither has the time to take it out, nor the money to fill its tank. 

The 49-year-old dreams of a day when she can hit the open road and – with her milestone birthday approaching next year – the words ‘retirement’ and ‘pensions’ should be on her mind.

And, while they are, it’s sadly not with her camper van in mind. Helen predicts it will be years before she can stop working. 

She is one of thousands of people who, struggling with the cost of living, are unable to plan for a retirement.

This wasn’t bad financial planning on Helen’s part; her work as a psychologist earned her a six-figure salary and she had nest eggs across multiple accounts, alongside her pension pots. 

But when her mum fell ill with cancer in 2011, only child Helen didn’t think twice about giving up work to look after her. She went on secondment from a job she loved and became a 24/7 carer overnight.

Her mum died a few months later, and Helen was left as the sole carer for her dad, who had early-onset Alzheimer’s. Four months after that, Helen’s husband had a serious stroke which left him with sight loss, heart failure and vascular dementia. 

Which leaves her where she is now.

More than a decade of caring has cost Helen all of her £150k savings – £30k of it was spent on pads for her father who was doubly incontinent for years – and now she is unable to stay warm. 

‘I went from a really good salary to the lowest form of allowance; £76 a week that we have to pay tax on,’ Helen tells Metro. ‘We don’t get things like free prescriptions, opticians or dental care and we can’t afford to have the heating on. We are just surviving financially.’ 

On the verge of launching a business providing respite care for other carers, Serenity Respite Care, she predicts that she will have to work ‘many more years than I’d anticipated’.

‘Hopefully if I love my work, it won’t be too bad,’ says Helen. ‘But I have been out of work since 2011 and the thing with unpaid caring is, you don’t know how long it will be. I didn’t think 15 years later I would still be caring for a loved one.’

It was during all that time that she was unable to pay into a pension, and now Helen simply cannot afford to. 

‘Things have got a lot harder since the cost-of-living crisis,’ she adds. ‘I am housebound because my husband is housebound. We can’t go to food banks or sit on buses or go to warm hubs. We have cut back on absolutely everything and the heating is turned off. We wear layer upon layer – it probably won’t do the house any good.’ 

Fear of living in poverty in later years is a problem that disproportionately affects black and Asian women, explains Financial Educator and Coach Elizabeth Buko.

‘Being unable to afford to retire is a harsh reality many women in the UK face – and this didn’t just happen overnight,’ she tells Metro. ‘Research shows two out of every three Black women are worried they will run out of money during retirement. And 53% of Black women have nothing saved for retirement. It is only slightly better for South Asian women and white women with 40% and 35% respectively with no retirement savings.’

Elizabeth says she is working with one woman who told her she will have to work 9-5 until she dies. Blaming the gender pay gap, the cost of childcare and how the amount of time taken out of work during child raising years affects final salaries, many women are left unprepared and worried about the future, she adds. 

It is this fear that is driving many back to work after retirement – and not just women.

The number of over 65s in work has risen dramatically in recent years, according to Rest Less, a digital community for the over 50s. There were 1.46 million in work at the latest count in July, a 10% increase from the 1.33 million over 65s working pre-Covid. 

Julian Price has endured a long and busy career in public services; spending 40 years in education and in the NHS. He was looking forward to his retirement this month, when he was planning on ‘a life of luxury’ – but it hasn’t quite panned out. He now spends his days in dank and cold graveyards, cleaning up memorial stones.

The 58-year-old from Gwynedd, who was employed as a mental health support worker for the last 17 years, was planning on three holidays a year and putting his feet up. However, his NHS pension amounts to just £300 a month, which isn’t enough to get by in a time when some household items have tripled in price amid soaring inflation.

In fact, Julian – who only buys own brand and doesn’t turn the heating on unless it is necessary – says it just isn’t enough to live on. He will have to work another decade before he can retire. 

‘Ideally, I would be working part time; 20 hours a week, but that’s not possible at the moment,’ he tells Metro. ‘I am working five days a week, and some weekends. I do get down sometimes, but business is taking off and I am trying to stay positive.

‘It is tough work. My job used to involve a lot of physical restraint, so I am strong. But I am working in the wind and rain and it is a strenuous job. I am getting older and my joints feel it.’ 

Julian, who is single and with no kids, recently set up Carnation Memorial Maintenance and was supported by PRIME Cymru a Welsh charity that helps people 50+ to find employment or start their own business.

Projects Manager, Beverley Kennett says: ‘We have seen a sharp increase in the number of people having to come out of retirement due to the cost-of-living crisis, to avoid going into debt. Most have resigned themselves to the fact they will have to continue working until they reach state pension age just to make ends meet.’ 

Thousands of pensioners are in the same boat as Julian, with insufficient money in their pension pots to retire, new research has found. 18% say their quality of life is going to deteriorate because they don’t have enough money in their pension funds, while 15% feel their biggest mental health strain is worrying about funding their retirement, according to Senior Capital, a later life lending specialist.

62-year-old Stevyn Colgan led a busy and fulfilling career as a police officer, a job he retired from in 2010 after 30 years.

He didn’t want to stop work entirely, but his police pension meant he could slow down, taking on freelance work as a writer and speaker at live events. He was able to pay his bills and pick and choose his work – some of which was as a script writer for the TV show QI. 

‘We didn’t have much money left at the end of each month but we were reasonably comfortable and I could enjoy being semi-retired,’ Stevyn tells Metro. ‘Then Covid came along and killed off the festivals and talks. TV companies got hit hard and reduced freelance staffing and publishing was hit hard too. These days, it’s tough to get a commission.’ 

Then the cost-of-living crisis hit and Stevyn from Buckinghamshire started making every possible cutback.

‘I don’t really know what I wanted from retirement, but I didn’t think I’d be back to full-time work, that’s for sure,’ he says. ‘I had plans to move back to Cornwall where I grew up but after the pandemic the cost of living just went up and up. Suddenly the pension wasn’t quite enough so it was back to work. And there are few jobs in Cornwall – it’s one of the poorest places in the UK – so I’ve stayed in the south-east.

“We’ve economised in a number of ways. We got rid of a car, which saved a lot of money every year and I’ve become a very canny shopper. I look for the bargains and I do a lot of batch cooking and freezing. I waste almost nothing – a chicken will easily make four meals for two people – and I grow some veg in the garden too and forage.

‘I pick enough free wild fruit every autumn to make all the jams and chutneys I need for the year ahead. I ditched my mobile phone contract and went pay-as-you-go and I don’t take the upgrades. I’m fit and healthy but my body loves to remind me that I’m 62 and not 22.’ 

Stevyn, who is married and has three grown up children, runs press outfit Breakthrough Books and says he is coping well, but can see how tough for his friends who still have kids at home.

‘The property situation in the UK is scandalous and the likelihood of retiring with the kids having left the nest is getting ever more remote,’ he adds. ‘Even if they have jobs and are paying a form of rent to their parents, it still has a huge impact on energy and food bills. Many retirees I know have gone back to work because of this.’

Chris Walsh, of age and employment specialists Wise Age, says the picture is complex, and while many older people are forced into jobs, there are also many that want to work who are facing ageism. 

‘There are up to 2 million older people who want to work and we see the same struggle on a regular basis; that ageism is endemic in all sectors of British employers,’ he explains to Metro. ‘It’s very, very rare that you will get offered a job in any public sector organisation over the age of 60 and if you are a 58-year-old male made unemployed, you have a less than 10% chance of getting another full time proper job.’ 

A survey carried out by Wise Age also reported that nearly 80% of older workers were not making enough money to live at a basic level, while 89% said increases in food and utility costs had left them choosing between different essential items.

Worryingly, almost a third had used a food bank in the last year and half said they were living in poverty. Respondents reported high blood pressure, anxiety, poor sleep and depression as a result. 

With many over 60s now stuck on zero wage contracts on minimum wage and no guarantee of getting paid, it is affecting their confidence, adds Chris. ‘It’s terrible for their self esteem. We have so many people who come to us practically in tears.’ 

Meanwhile, Helen remains stoical. She sometimes lets herself dream of a future driving around the coast in her little white camper van, but she knows in reality she may have to take on work that doesn’t reflect her knowledge, qualifications or experience. 

‘It fills me with dread, the type of work I could do, like being a carer or shop worker,’ she says.

‘I don’t regret at all providing that care and love to my family. But it doesn’t sit well. You should not be thrown into poverty for doing something that is saving the government a lot of money.

‘It’s devastating really, what it’s done to me. I try not to think about it, as it’s better not to dwell.’ 

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‘Let that sink in,’ he famously tweeted, after showing up to work with an actual sink and announcing that he was the new owner of Twitter. 

Now, after 12 rollercoaster months, the impact of his decision has definitely sunk in. 

Musk was already a huge social media star when he decided to buy Twitter in April 2022, beginning a complex acquisition process. He tried to pull out after claiming the social network had failed to crack down on spambots – automated accounts which mimic human profiles in order to spread content on social media – but a judge forced him to go through with the $44 billion sale.

Then he moved quickly, sacking senior staff including former CEO Parag Agrawal and starting a long series of layoffs in which employees were fired by email and others were given their marching orders after criticising the Tesla and SpaceX founder on Twitter.

What came next was a dramatic overhaul of the social network, scrapping the blue tick and replacing it with a paid scheme in which users could verify their account starting at £9.60 a month.

It was the first salvo in a string of sometimes controversial updates which included a bid to limit the number of tweets users could view in one day. 

By September 2023, Musk was suggesting all users would have to pay to access his social network, and earlier this week began charging new users in New Zealand and the Philippines $1 a year for basic accounts.

However, perhaps the most talked-about update came in July, when he decided to scrap the name Twitter and rename his social network X – leaving users confused about what to call tweets in the billionaire’s brave new world.

It also gave way to the photo opp of paparazzi’s dreams when Musk stopped traffic to pull down the old Twitter sign from its San Francisco HQ, which at one point with the sign half removed, only the words ‘twit’ and ‘er’ were left visible.

The awkward juxtaposition served as a neat visual representation of the incredulous reaction sparked by his decision to rebrand Twitter – a much-loved and iconic social network famed for its blue bird and ‘fail whale’ icons.

Reflecting on the last 12 months of Elon’s Twitter takeover, Dr Annmarie Hanlon, senior lecturer in digital and social media marketing at Cranfield School of Management, tells Metro.co.uk how Twitter was once ‘the breaking news channel and a place you could hear a wide range of opinions’.

However, she warns that the platform’s future now looks ‘increasingly uncertain and volatile’ and calls on the billionaire to ‘build the community rather than destroy it’. 

‘For many the hasty rebrand to “X” left the platform with a malevolent and uninviting aesthetic,’ she continued. 

‘Some regard its appearance as a force for bad, instead of an intended force for good. Musk’s takeover of Twitter has profoundly impacted user experience, namely through a surge in hate speech, misinformation, and bots across the platform. 

‘Restoring civility and trust should be his top priority. Users and brands want a safe, constructive platform.’

Free speech zone or ‘cesspit’ of hate and misinformation? 

Just a few weeks after buying Twitter, Musk asked users to vote on whether there should be an ‘amnesty’ for people who had been banned from the site, as long as they were not spammers or had broken the law. After the vote, he then allowed figures such as Kanye West, Andrew Tate, Donald Trump and the far-right extremist Nick Fuentes back onto the platform. 

It was a move that prompted outcry from many campaigners who claim that hate speech has proliferated on Twitter and X over the last 12 months. 

At the end of 2022, analysts from the Centre for Countering Digital Hate (CCDH) alleged that the number of tweets containing the n-word had tripled since Musk’s takeover. However, Musk claimed the opposite was true and that hate speech had been reduced on his watch. His company X Corp is now suing CCDH, claiming it cost the platform ‘tens of millions of dollars’ in advertising revenue. CCDH did not respond to our requests for further comment. 

The fault lines of the free speech debate were never more obvious following Hamas terrorists’ attack on Israel earlier this month, prompting the EU to open a formal investigation into X in relation to the spread of ‘terrorist and violent content’ relating to the conflict – and disinformation. 

Again, Musk questioned the allegations and wrote: ‘Our policy is that everything is open source and transparent, an approach that I know the EU supports. Please list the violations you allude to on X, so that that [sic] the public can see them.

‘Merci beaucoup.’

Linda Yaccarino, appointed CEO of X in May after Musk posted a poll asking if he should step down, did provide a more comprehensive response.

Following the attacks, Countdown maths whizz Rachel Riley posted: ‘Twitter is a cesspit, even worse than before Musk took over.’

However, Musk still has many supporters who back his crusade for free speech. 

On the day of Hamas’s attack, Dominic Cummings, Brexit architect and grand vizier to Boris Johnson, posted: ‘Today reminds me how happy I am @ElonMusk bought Twitter – if you look at mainstream news, including BBC, you see censorship and propaganda everywhere to limit damage to Hamas.’

Metro.co.uk approached Cummings for comment but he did not respond. 

Michael Fertik, a well-known Silicon Valley venture investor who is the founder and managing director of venture capital firm Heroic Ventures, tells Metro.co.uk: ‘The question is not whether Elon has run Twitter and X better than an armchair commentator on X would have done. It’s whether he ran it better than the apparently self-unaware woke junta did before he bought it.

‘The answer is, so far, a resounding yes. 

‘Freer speech is winning again. And economically, he had the guts to reduce an obviously enormously bloated staff, which loss-making companies should probably do more often. I don’t love all of his off-the-cuff “philosophy”, but probably neither does he, after sleeping on it.’

The future for Twitter

Ever since the Musk takeover, his political and ideological opponents have threatened to leave X and sign up to other platforms, such as Mastodon. Mark Zuckerberg even launched a Twitter competitor, Threads, which does not appear to have been the success its founder hoped for. 

So far, the expected exodus has not taken place. In June 2023, Musk posted figures showing that the number of monthly users of X had reached a ‘new high’ and soared to more than 540 million.

Recent figures from the analytics and business intelligence firm GWS revealed that X’s average daily user numbers have ‘remained steady’ in both the US and UK since early July. It continues to average around 22 million active users each day in the US and 6 million active users each day in the UK. Daily active users of Meta’s Threads have ‘fallen significantly’ in both markets.

Dr Paul Carter, CEO of GWS, tells Metro: ‘Elon Musk’s major overhaul of Twitter’s branding, adopting the X name and logo, might have attracted controversy, especially at a time when the company faces the looming threat of a well-funded rival in Threads. 

‘However, real-time mobile data from social media users across the UK and the US shows Twitter continues to hold steady despite external threats.

‘The same, however, cannot be said for its main new rival Threads and its parent company Meta. The mass exodus from one platform to the other just hasn’t occurred.’

Dr Alex Gunz, lecturer in marketing at Alliance Manchester Business School, said Twitter is protected from competition by a phenomenon known as a ‘network lock-in’ effect. 

‘The most valuable aspect about social media platforms is the fact that everyone else is there too,’ he says. ‘This herd effect seems to have helped Twitter to stay afloat since Musk’s takeover. Membership has shrunk somewhat, but the exodus never hit a critical mass.’

This situation could change if enough people decide to jump ship and move to a different social network. 

‘If enough users are dissatisfied with Twitter and turn to a sufficiently plausible alternative, then the trickle of migration could well hit a tipping point,’ Dr Gunz continued. ‘If enough people move to a new place, then the lock-in goes with them, and so does Twitter’s monopoly.’

Although the user base has not yet deserted X, it faces ‘a significant challenge when it comes to attracting and retaining users’, Arden University’s Dr Syed Tarek tells Metro.

‘With Elon Musk’s recent approach of prioritising blue tick subscribers over ads, it’s possible that many non-subscribers, who are responsible for creating and consuming the majority of the platform’s content, may feel alienated,’ says Dr Tarek, deputy head of school of leadership and management at the private university.

‘It seems that X users are actively seeking alternatives, but it’s likely that the platform will experience a gradual decline rather than a sudden collapse. There’s a clear need for other platforms to catch up to Twitter’s capabilities before users commit to the switch for the long-term.’

Is there trouble ahead for X?

While Elon wants to turn X into a ‘super app’ – the name of ‘one app to rule them all’ services like WeChat in China, which enables users to do everything from sharing photos to making payments – the road ahead looks far from smooth for the social media site.

Kirsty Minns, executive creative director and partner at Mother Design, tells Metro.co.uk that Elon’s unique management style poses its own risks. 

‘He appears to be using the same “break it til you make it” playbook seen in the early days of both Tesla and SpaceX – but the big problem is that this playbook applies to start-ups, not a globally recognised brand with an already established set of values,’ she says. 

‘Twitter already meant something to people, they’d given it a purpose. Now, it appears that users are not at the centre of the brand and Musk has total freedom to do what he likes, without any accountability”.

A hint of a potential challenge ahead came in August 2023, when Musk announced plans to collect and store users’ biometric data for safety, security and identification purposes. 

Alex Laurie, SVP at the digital identity platform ForgeRock, told Metro.co.uk about one example of a potential problem which could push users into moving to another social network. He said that a ‘subtle change’ to X’s privacy policy like this suggests Elon Musk is capable of ‘acting on whims without thinking things through’. 

Laurie says: ‘This could cause serious revenue issues for X as our own research, conducted earlier this year, shows that 44% of UK users would stop using X if it implemented a requirement for identity verification. Given existing consumer distrust of social media companies, especially when handling credentials and online identities, we may witness an acceleration in user drop-off if X implements this decision.’

The biometric data issue is just one example of the many challenges Musk faces as he strives to build the first super app in the West. 

As we move into the second year of Musk’s ownership of X, little is certain about its future and it is more or less impossible to predict the plans of its owner. 

‘What’s next?’ Olivia Wedderburn, executive social influence director at TMW Unlimited, a creative agency based in London, tells Metro. ‘It’s hard to say, but my bet is in the cold hard ground.’

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Sharron Spice couldn’t afford to be out of work.

Often hired on short-term contracts with limited hours and already struggling to meet increasing rents, unemployment was a prospect the theatre company owner had always dreaded.

Then it happened in October 2019. 

For four months Sharron searched for a new job, while soaring rent arrears ate away at her savings. Soon, she found herself in a desperate situation: claim benefits or be forced into a cruel battle between heating and eating. 

As Sharron nervously started her claim for Universal Credit, what followed was a process fraught with difficulty from the outset, from computer glitches to serious debt.

‘You’re supposed to fill out the application online before attending an interview, but from the very beginning the system wouldn’t register my identity documents,’ she tells Metro.co.uk. ‘It’s a process that if you’re not internet savvy, you will struggle with.

‘I had to wait for a few weeks for my first payment after making the claim, which then went entirely on my rent. Because my last salary had been £2,000 per month, I ended up getting £70 for the month and from the outset I had to start borrowing.’ 

Almost immediately Sharron was plunged into debt. With her monthly payments – now calculated at £368.74 due to lost income – barely stretching to cover her rent, and having fallen into arrears over council tax, the former administrator was forced to take out a budgeting advance loan. 

Automatically deducted from monthly Universal Credit payments, advance loans are a measure designed to help claimants pay for emergency household costs, but for many, this does not relieve financial struggles. 

‘My payments were failing to cover rent and other basic outgoings, and I soon struggled to afford even the basic necessities,’ remembers Sharron. ‘I was having to negotiate with my phone provider, and had to start buying food late at night so it was cheaper. 

‘I started thinking about all the debts and how I’d become a burden to friends and family. I was struggling to survive. One night I was sitting in the living room when the electricity ran out – it was pitch black, and from that moment I remember thinking: what’s the point of carrying on?’

Overwhelmed that her monthly payments were barely covering rent, food bills and mobile phone charges, and facing the prospect of eviction, Sharron involved her MP Kate Osamor who lobbied her local housing association to avert formal action from being taken. 

‘In many senses I’m lucky, as without my MP I would’ve no doubt been evicted,’ she says.

‘With the debts piling to an unmanageable level, the pressure was really building and I knew that it would only be a matter of time before I lost my home.’                                                                                                  

While Sharron has avoided homelessness for now, her struggle is reflective of a huge number of people at risk while claiming Universal Credit. 

Exclusive Freedom of Information data obtained by Metro.co.uk from councils across England reveals that more than 170,811 households approached their local authority as homeless while claiming Universal Credit between 2019 and 2023. 

Figures also show that the number of homeless presentations from households in receipt of Universal Credit rose by more than half between 2019 and 2021, increasing from 23,730 to 36,598. 

Meanwhile, 60,170 households claiming the monthly payment required accommodation in the year to June 2023.

However, the amount is expected to be higher, with a number of local authorities either exempting the release of information or failing to disclose figures within the 20 working-day time limit set out under the FOI Act. 

For Charlie Berry, a policy officer at Shelter, there are a number of reasons why Universal Credit may increase an individual’s risk of homelessness, with compulsory five-week waits at the start of a claim often exacerbating financial hardship. 

‘This is widely recognised for causing hardship because the only way to cover those five weeks is to take out a loan from the Department for Work and Pensions which you then have to pay back via automatic deductions,’ explains Charlie. 

‘We find that while people are assessed as needing a certain amount of Universal Credit support, actually they’re not getting that every month. In individual circumstances, this effect can push people into a more precarious financial situation.’

Figures released by the government in 2021 revealed more than 190,000 low-income renters on Universal Credit in England were at least two or more months behind on their rent, with many struggling amid increasing energy and food prices. 

It follows findings published by the Trussell Trust in 2022 which show that two in five Britons in receipt of Universal Credit were forced into debt during the winter with payments failing to cover bills and shopping. 

Charlie adds that by failing to cover basic essentials, Universal Credit – combined with the deepening cost of living crisis and increasingly unaffordable rents – is impacting many claimants’ mental health. 

Research published by Understanding Society in 2021 revealed 63,674 people experienced psychological distress between 2013 and 2018 due to the introduction of Universal Credit. 

‘We know that these issues can cause people to live in extreme stress,’ she says. ‘It’s really damaging for children’s life chances and we know that those who do go under and become homeless end up living in temporary accommodation.’ 

Jasmine Basran, Head of Policy and Campaigns at the homeless charity Crisis agrees, but warns that without investment in the Local Housing Allowance rates, more and more claimants will be forced into homelessness. 

‘Currently, Universal Credit is falling short,’ she tells Metro.co.uk. ‘A significant factor is that Local Housing Allowance rates, which determine how much money you receive in Universal Credit towards your rent, are currently frozen, and have been since 2019. This means that as rents have risen dramatically, people are having to cut back on food and heating to cover this increase – and this is leaving people in dire straits.’

When *Zara was forced to move out to escape an abusive relationship with her two young children in August 2022, she could never have imagined living in temporary accommodation struggling to make ends meet. 

Jointly claiming Universal Credit with her ex-husband, the mother of two spent the first few weeks on the floor of her friend’s living room while she lodged a new claim and registered as homeless with her local council. 

‘It was really scary even just making the decision to leave the family home with two children,’ she tells Metro.co.uk. ‘Although the abuse was happening, it felt like I was in a comfortable place even though it really wasn’t.

‘My friend was a single mother herself and had four children which meant my two kids and I had to sleep in the living room. I rang the council and explained my situation, in the hope I could find new accommodation. Instead they wanted to speak to my friend and asked her if she could house me for as long as possible.

‘My friend, understandably, said that she needed her own space for her children which is when the council eventually said they would put me in temporary accommodation in the form of a hotel.

‘While I was grateful, it was scary because it was just a single room with a sink,’ adds Zara. ‘There was no toilet in the room, so we had to go to a different floor to share it with others staying there, so I would often go to the library to use the bathroom during the day.’

Thankfully, within a month, the 41-year-old and her two children were transferred into a nearby Travelodge with a more spacious family bedroom and bathroom. However, as the single mum would soon discover, the lack of a kitchen made preparing nutritional meals near impossible. 

With no hot food served by the hotel either, Zara and her family were soon forced to rely on daily takeaways which, as she explains, became increasingly unaffordable alongside her rent and other essentials. 

‘Although my Universal Credit payments have been coming in regularly, living in the hotel has made everything so much more expensive. I have to do my laundry outside, tumble-dry outside and buy food outside,’ she explains.

‘I was having to constantly buy takeaways like McDonald’s or KFC for our meals because we could not cook in the hotel room, but this was becoming more and more expensive and is just unhealthy.

‘I ended up skipping meals so that the children didn’t go hungry and so I didn’t start falling into debt and risk homelessness again.’

For Zara, who is looking for work but can’t even afford the cost of childcare without falling back into arrears, the prospect of accumulating debt is daunting considering the majority of her Universal Credit payments go on rent. 

‘I don’t want to be a person who is constantly in debt – I know my circumstances aren’t ideal, but I still don’t want to fall into the trap,’ she says. ‘It’s like a vicious cycle – even if I did take out a loan, I still wouldn’t be able to cover my costs.’

Analysis by the Child Poverty Action Group in 2022 revealed an estimated 1.8 million households on Universal Credit are having to live on significantly less than they are entitled to due to automatic deductions from monthly payments. 

However, Siobhán Donnachie, a spokesperson for the London Renters Union, says that while there’s no doubt Universal Credit plays a significant role in eviction, homelessness can also be attributed to rents rising faster than incomes. 

‘Rents have been passing inflation which means people just aren’t able to meet their payments,’ she tells Metro.co.uk. ‘People can’t afford their rents now and those who received Universal Credit are much more vulnerable. Housing costs make up the biggest proportion of people’s budgets, particularly people privately renting, so we really need to see action on rent freezes in the future, because it’s only going to keep on getting worse.’

According to research from the Joseph Rowntree Foundation published in 2022, a third of the 11.6 million households earning £25,000 or less were pushed into arrears on their rent or mortgage, utility bills or council tax bills. 

Zara is now receiving support from the Salvation Army which provides the family with regular access to a foodbank, homelessness outreach services as well as employment and benefit advice. 

‘Without the Salvation Army, I’d be struggling even more without a doubt,’ she admits. ‘I think my children would be suffering, I’d definitely still be skipping meals and my health would be deteriorating.

‘Things will get better if I’m able to support my children by providing them a more stable home. But with electricity, gas, childcare and council tax bills I fear that my Universal Credit payments won’t go far enough and that makes me scared about whether I’ll be able to provide for my children.’

Thankfully, life is looking up for Sharron who has written a play inspired by her own experiences of claiming Universal Credit, and is now turning it into a web series called The Perils of Universal Credit, which will also tour across the UK.

‘It’s based on my story because I know that at some stage more people are going to end up having to claim Universal Credit, and they’re going to be shocked,’ she says. ‘Everyone’s a paycheck away from eviction and with the cost of living crisis, so many people are struggling to survive.’

For Andrew Connell, Policy Manager at the Salvation Army, until Universal Credit payments provide claimants with enough money to meet their housing costs, the risk of homelessness remains high.

‘Universal Credit simply reduces the overall ability of an individual to pay their rent when we consider the five week wait time and whether an advance has been taken out,’ he explains. ‘This is what we want the government to address. 

‘What we’ve been calling on in particular is to replace the Universal Credit loan with a grant to give claimants breathing space and allow them to freeze their debt repayments for 60 days to give them a chance to get back on their feet.’

*Name has been changed to protect identity

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing Claie.Wilson@metro.co.uk 

Share your views in the comments below.

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As Brian Quavar was wheeled into the operating theatre at Guy’s and St Thomas’ hospital in London, he looked up at the surgeon and joked, ‘how much sleep have you had?’

Being the first patient of the day, he was about to have life-saving surgery after being diagnosed with prostate cancer. 

Although it was a shock diagnosis, it was one that Brian, now 60, had taken in his stride, despite the worrying lack of information surrounding the illness in Black men. 

‘One in four Black men, as opposed to one in eight in the general population, are more at risk,’ the 60-year-old tube driver explains. ‘Unfortunately, there hasn’t been enough research on Black bodies and prostate cancer even though it affects us more as a community,  so there is no understanding as to why.’ 

Like many men, Brian didn’t have any clear symptoms of the disease. He wasn’t in pain, or  felt any strange lumps – the only thing that gave any sort of indication was his need to pee more than usual. 

‘I had no real symptoms before my diagnosis,’ Brian, from East London, tells Metro. ‘I would say the only symptom would be getting up in the middle of the night to urinate regularly. I didn’t even think of it as a issue because I drink lots of liquid normally.’

However,  after frequently getting up for the toilet during the night, he was urged by his partner to visit his GP.

A PSA test (a blood test to help detect prostate cancer) revealed higher levels than normal and Brian was called in for further tests. Following a biopsy, MRI and PET scan, he was diagnosed with localised prostate cancer – which meant it hadn’t spread.

Brian, who grew up in Trinidad, recalls: ‘I had my partner with me when we got the news, so I had that support, and I had done some research. I knew it wasn’t likely to  have been fatal, or detrimental to my wellbeing – so I didn’t panic.’

‘I didn’t think: “Oh my god, this is the end of the world!”. I listened to diagnosis and I was told about the treatment options.’

Brian opted to have his prostate removed, rather than undergo radiation. However the operation, known as a radical robotic prostatectomy, came with risks, such as incontinence and erectile dysfunction. Both of these were dependent on the success of the surgery and how much ‘nerve spare’ (where doctors avoid cutting nerves near your prostate) surgeons could save.

Thankfully, the operation was a success, leaving Brian with 75% nerve spare. He was then sent home with a care plan, medical erection pump, and a catheter – which was removed after two weeks. 

On the whole, he says, his recovery went well. However, one thing that Brian feels has helped him enormously over the past two years has been a prostate cancer support group specifically for Black men, called Brother to Brother, Man to Man.

The group was set up by nurses at Guy’s and St Thomas’ hospital with the aim of being a safe space for Black men to talk about prostate cancer and, ultimately, help squash stigmas in the community.

‘Staff found that not many Black men attended the regular prostate cancer group and felt that Black men would be more responsive to being in a group of people similar to themselves. And I agree.

‘It’s important for us as Black men to feel comfortable in a space where we can talk freely amongst ourselves, and not to be seen as in the minority.

‘We meet once a month and we’re able to share personal experiences and hear from experts in the field. It’s very supportive.’

Brian adds that groups like this are especially crucial, as prostate cancer is still stigmatised within the Black community.

‘It’s taboo for a lot of reasons. There is still a struggle in terms of getting Black men to ask for PSA tests,’ he says. ‘A lot of them still think the only test is the rectal examination – which isn’t the case – and for some men this is taboo. They don’t want anybody putting a finger up their bum.

‘The other issue is the fact that prostate cancer has to do with your sexual function – however, until it’s in the advanced stages, it doesn’t really affect you in that way. So some people think “what they don’t know can’t hurt them”, and they prefer to not know about any kind of treatment that would affect their sexual function.

‘However, as a Black man, it’s also important to me that more Black people speak out to remove the stigma around being tested or being treated for prostate cancer, as it still remains a taboo for many, across Black communities.’

What’s more, with the statistics highlighting Black men are more at risk of prostate cancer, Brian feels passionately about firstly encouraging Black men to get a PSA test and secondly, urging GPs not to turn them away when they request one.

He also stresses this is particularly important as often prostate cancer can be practically symptom-less – like it was for him.

Meanwhile, there are other hurdles in the way, which could be more easily remedied, such changing how coverage of prostate cancer tends to focus on white men.

‘When people share their stories, it’s usually white men,’ Brian points out. ‘However, even if they’re speaking about white men, it should be reiterated, somewhere in the narrative, that Black men are more at risk of prostate cancer.

‘This narrative is still if you’re a man over the age of 50, get a PSA test. But it should be stressed this is for the general population. However, if you’re a Black man, and you’re over the age of 45, you should be getting a test – that’s the guidelines from Prostate Cancer UK.

‘That distinction should always be reiterated wherever possible when cancer is spoken about.’

Since Brian’s surgery in 2021, his PSA levels are undetectable and he attends regular check ups. But following his experience, he’s more passionate than ever about getting people talking and squashing stigmas.

I would like to reiterate the message to Black men, that there is no shame in having any kind of illness.

‘It’s a taboo for a lot of people in the Black community where you don’t talk about your illness whether it’s prostate cancer, or mental illness or any other kind of cancer, or any other sort of this medical diagnosis – it’s not openly spoken about. So there needs to be more openness within the community.’

Brian is also involved in Macmillan’s recent Find The Words campaign, which encourages men to open up about their experience of cancer and reach out for support.

If you’ve received a diagnosis or are going through treatment, you can get support via Macmillan on 0808 808 00 00.

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

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Kate can still recall how long and hard she thought about how to tackle a day she knew would be difficult.

But she could never have envisaged how it would turn out to be one of the worst of her life.

She was meeting with her ex to try and amicably discuss ways he could safely see their child. So Kate made the decision to see him in a pub with an outside area so they would be in a public space.

Picking one near her home – so it was familiar to her – she asked a friend to wait at the house in case she needed support.

But none of this mattered when her ex-partner attacked her in the street, chasing her into her home and then spent hours harassing and terrifying her, banging on the doors and windows, threatening to kill her and her pregnant friend.

Fearing for her life, Kate, who has given just her first name for security reasons, imagined she would be able rely on a set of measures she’d previously put in place to protect herself and her then six-months-old daughter, to get her out of such a terrifying situation.

A Location of Interest marker had been put on her house, meaning the police had registered her address as a place where there is someone vulnerable at risk.

The mum had also previously gone through a 14-month process with the family court to get a non-molestation order (NMO) granted against her ex, banning him from using physical violence and intimidating, harassing or pestering behaviour.

Although this order was a civil one, breaching it is a criminal offence holding a maximum penalty of up to five years in prison. So when Kate called 999 on that petrifying day in spring 2017, she believed help would come.

However, she says that the operator told her they had no one on patrol in the area because they were dealing with several incidents at pubs.

‘I had my baby, I had my friend who was five months pregnant who was terrified. I told them this on the phone – I said there’s absolutely no way I could defend myself, my daughter and my friend if he does get into the house,’ the 36-year-old tells Metro.co.uk.

Kate knows the operator could hear how much danger she was in because the 999 call was so harrowing, a recording of it ended up being used to train the Merseyside Police force’s victims’ unit.

It was also used as evidence at Liverpool Magistrates Court= although it was played to the judges in private, as the police told Kate’s parents they would not want to listen to the call.

‘You can hear the banging and it sounds like he’s coming through the door,’ Kate says.

Her ex, who Metro.co.uk is referring to by the pseudonym Joe, was eventaully convicted for harassment (put in fear of violence) more than two years later, at the start of 2019.

Kate said she was subjected to years of physical and psychological violence when she and Joe were together.

The abuse seemed to die down once Kate became pregnant, leaving her with a ‘false sense of security that everything was behind them’.

But she still warned Joe: ‘If you raise a hand to me when my daughter is in the house then that is it, there will be no going back.’

So when he attacked Kate just eight weeks after their baby was born, she called the police and Joe fled.

Kate had done everything ‘right’.

She ‘just left’ her abuser, she called the police when she was attacked, she preventatively applied for a marker to be put on her house and she had tried to sort things out amicably.

Recalling that day in spring 2017, when she met Joe to discuss him spending time their daughter, Kate says, ‘I never, ever wanted to stop him from seeing her but I was adamant that I never wanted him to have unsupervised access to her.’

And yet, despite all this, she still found herself trapped inside her own home with a man threatening her life and no one coming to help her.

Kate eventually escaped after her and her friend’s parents arrived at the house with a ‘convoy of cars’.

While Merseyside Police could not comment on this specific case because Metro could not safely reveal all the details of Kate’s identity, detective superintendent Cheryl Rhodes said: ‘We take all reports of domestic abuse extremely seriously and we work together with communities and partner agencies to tackle all violence against women and girls.

‘A key part of this ongoing work is ensuring victims of domestic abuse feel they will be believed and supported when they report offending to us, and we have developed a programme of work to ensure that we do everything in our power to support victims, target perpetrators and reduce violence.

‘We want to continue the strides we have made to make sure Merseyside is an environment where women and girls are safe and feel they can pursue their daily lives free from fear and harassment.’

According toHarriet Wistrich, the director of the Centre for Women’s Justice (CWF), Merseyside Police is just one of 43 police forces in the UK which are all part of a ‘creaking’ criminal justice system enforcing laws to protect women that are ‘worth little more than the paper they are written on’.

The CWF an organisation which works to address violence against women and submitted a super-complaint ‘highlighting serious failures by the police to use powers designed to protect victims of domestic violence’ in March 2019.

Researchers looked at the four legal powers available to officers – imposing bail conditions, making arrests for breaches of NMOs, imposing domestic violence protection notices (DVPN) or applying for restraining orders.

They interviewed 11 frontline women’s organisations, including the National Domestic Violence Helpline and Rape Crisis South London, to assess the specific reasons these tools are supposedly not working.

Although NMOs are one of the most commonly used protective orders granted to help victims of domestic abuse, the CWF report found that officers often ‘trivialise’ breaches of NMOs and ‘do not understand them within the wider patterns of domestic abuse’.

Kate describes how, on one occasion, after calling the police about Joe’s abusive behaviour, she was told by an officer:‘You’ve had a lover’s tiff, you both just need to calm down.’

She tells Metro: ‘I’m not a silly kid. Don’t downplay the hole that he’s punched through my dining room wall while I’ve got a baby in the house. Don’t you dare downplay what this is.’

Another woman, who cannot be named for her own safety, has an indefinite non-molestation order in place against her abusive ex.

She spoke to Metro about how protective measures like hers are policed too generally, which means she has never really felt truly safe. general, saying hers has never made her feel safe.

‘By the police not acting, it actually sends the message to perpetrators that they’re above the law and they can do whatever they wish,’ she explains.

The mum believes this culture gave her abuser ‘more control and power because he knew he was taunting me and frightening me and it was his way of saying “I’m not going to go away”.’

She adds that the charities Refuge and Women’s Aid, are ‘the only places where women feel they can go to where they’re actually believed – they’re heard and they don’t need to sit there and tell their whole story thinking “oh my god, is someone gonna help and listen”.

‘Unfortunately, with some police forces, that is not the case. And if a woman is making that first call and they get a bad call handler, they could send them back in a dangerous situation.

‘I’ve had so many people who have spoken to me over the years who have said “oh no I don’t want to call the police because I’ve had a bad experience and I don’t want to call them again” and that’s not okay.

‘We don’t feel safe or safeguarded. My ex has got away with so much and he’s just been shown that he’s above the law, that he can continue to breach.

‘This is why the domestic abuse number keeps rising. It’s alright people putting new laws and legislations in place but if the authorities are not going to act and back this up the numbers are going to keep rising. They’re putting women at risk.’

Another unnamed survivor told Metro that her perpetrator ‘routinely breached’ an NMO ‘with no action taken’.

‘I still live in constant fear that he will find us,’ she admits. ‘He left voice recordings threatening to burn the family member’s home where we fled to.

‘Police told me to leave it as “you don’t want to upset him anymore”. He sends threats via people who knew me that he “has something for me”.

‘I’m constantly looking over my shoulder to keep us safe and lying about where we are from.’

Kate feels similarly, describing ‘the aftermath of leaving’ as ‘worse than any part of the relationship’ she was in.

She says her faith in the police service was ‘completely destroyed’ until an officer in the victim’s unit helped her take her case to criminal court and get her ex prosecuted for harassment.

‘It was years and years of hell. I still can’t sleep in the dark. I still sleep with the light on – there’s certain elements that will never go,’ she says.

As devastating as these stories are, they are seemingly not stand-out cases. The CWF’s super-complaint summarised its findings with: ‘The CWJ has become concerned that the various legal measures intended to provide protection to women are not being applied properly on the ground.’

The CWJ report is the most comprehensive set of data available on the issue, as all the relevant information is collected and stored by different parts of the criminal justice system, which do not seem to communicate effectively with each other, say domestic violence policy experts.

Lucy Hadley, the head of policy for Women’s Aid, tells Metro that many of the difficulties in protecting domestic violence victims are because of the ‘the real lack of join-up between our civil and criminal court system’.

Many protective orders are made in civil courts and ‘it’s kind of unbelievable but there’s no automatic join-up mechanism between our civil court system and the police’, she says.

Ellie, Lucy, Kate and the unnamed survivors speak at length about a lack of understanding of ‘the complexities of domestic abuse’ in general and what seemingly small breaches actually mean.

Something like ‘laying flowers on a victim’s doorstep’ may not seem serious to an officer but actually be ‘the most incredibly dangerous and frightening act’ for a victim.

Lucy says: ‘If you look at a breach in isolation it might not mean much, but when you see it as part of a pattern, it becomes clear just how serious that is.’

Meanwhile, Ellie Butt, Refuge’s head of policy, tells Metro that it is important to remember that ‘a woman knows her perpetrator and how they work better than anyone’.

She says: ‘The overwhelming message we hear from survivors around protective orders is that the system doesn’t work and they don’t have much confidence in it.’

In the year ending in March 2022, the police in England and Wales recorded 1,500,369 domestic abuse-related incidents, according to the Office for National Statistics.

This number has continued to increase year-on-year with last year’s figures 7.7% higher than 2021 and 14.1% higher than 2020.

It is estimated that only one in five victims actually report domestic abuse to the police, so the real numbers are likely much higher.

Lucy says: ‘For many, they are simply too scared of perpetrators to report. Some of them know that reporting to the police will increase their risk of harm. So, when a woman reports, it absolutely needs to be seen as the most dangerous time for a woman to put herself in.

‘It’s the highest-risk time and breaches to protective orders need to be seen as the very dangerous crimes that they are. The perpetrator’s behaviour is escalating not diminishing.’

This rings true for Kate, who says the day when Joe attacked her house and no officer came to help was ‘one of her lowest points’ while ‘already suffering really extreme stress and anxiety’.

For every 100 domestic-abuse-related crimes in the year ending March 2022, only 31.3 arrests were made, ONS figures from last year show.

Out of the 1,500,369 incidents reported, just 67,063 alleged abusers were referred for prosecution – this is less than 5%.

It is important to note that there is no single criminal offence for domestic abuse so convictions for it include harassment, assault, criminal damage, attempted murder, rape, stalking and coercive control.

This means some convictions may have taken place for domestic abuse-related crimes without being recorded as such.

Kate is one of the few who saw criminal justice take place when Joe pleaded guilty to harassment.

She had ‘assumed her case wasn’t going anywhere because it had been that long’ since she reported it to the police.

A Victims Unit officer who ‘restored her faith’ in the police called her and reportedly said: ‘The Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) are going to take your case, please tell me that you’re going to do it.’

‘I had made a promise to myself and my daughter and every other woman out there that if I had an opportunity to get some sort of justice then I would,’ she says.

She recalls how, at one point, she was sitting with her domestic violence worker and asked: ‘What happened next?’ The officer reportedly responded: ‘Kate, you’re the first lady I’ve worked with that’s got this far.’

Kate bravely attended court but, on the second day of her giving evidence, Joe changed his plea to guilty. She says: ‘I know he did that for himself but it’s the best thing he ever did for me. I was really struggling to give evidence and to keep myself together – because of that fear of not being believed all over again.’

Joe was sentenced to a community order which imposed a curfew and required him to attend rehabilitation appointments. Kate was also granted a 10-year restraining order.

The Home Office highlighted the measures it announced in February this year, which ‘go further than ever before in protecting women and girls from domestic abuse’.

A spokesperson tells Metro.co.uk: ‘We have been clear that we expect the police to treat these reports with the utmost gravity, without exception.

‘We have classified Violence Against Women and Girls as a national threat for the first time, setting clear expectations that police must treat these crimes on a par as tackling threats like terrorism, serious and organised crime and child sexual abuse.’

MORE : Partners who kill exes will face tougher sentences in domestic abuse reforms

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When he was 16, Danny Edmead had an eight week trial with a team he had always dreamed of playing with, Tottenham Hotspurs.

However, after the stint, the teenager wasn’t kept on with the club.

‘I remember finishing my training session with them. I played very well, so I asked the Tottenham coach if the decision about signing me had been made,’ Danny tells Metro.

‘Two coaches then took me into an office where they reassured me that I was a good and hard working player who would go far in football – however, they were unfortunately unable to sign me but hopefully would see me in the future.

‘I was so disheartened because I really felt like I had put in the effort to get signed and built a good bond with the coaches.’

Undeterred, Danny went for more trials, this time with Charlton, Watford and Fulham. Each time, he felt like he was in grasping reach of playing for a club that would see him go pro – but each time, there was no call back after the trial.

It would be a devastating experience for anyone, not to mention someone so young. Each moment turning a promising future into uncertainty and doubt.

‘I was in year 11 when I went to trial for Tottenham,’ he explains. 

‘When I didn’t get signed it really added to the pressures I already felt as a student and I began to worry about the next steps for my life.’

However, Danny’s greatest disappointment occurred after he was signed by the German Bundesliga 2 team (U19) SG Unnterrath, however, was unable to stay due to the club’s financial issues, which were partly caused by the Covid lockdown.

‘I was there for a year and a half but then things got difficult because the club at the time didn’t have the finances to house me so I had to be accommodated by my agent,’ he explains.

‘After a while, my agent was finding it financially difficult to house me as it was very expensive in Germany as a result I had to go back to London. 

‘I believe if I had the chance to stay I would be playing in the Bundesliga (first team) by now. 

The pandemic had a disastrous impact on many young players, leaving them without a team or even the opportunity to find one due to the lockdown restrictions on football finances and player movement around Europe. 

‘It felt like I had to restart my journey,’ Danny adds. ‘I wasn’t involved in any training, so I really struggled when I got back since I had a lot of time to think. 

‘Eventually, I realised that this was feeding into my mental health negatively and so I decided to speak to family and friends about the struggle, as well as the negative thoughts I was combating.’ 

Danny, now 19, and still trying to make it in football, is sharing his story as part of a new initiative offering young players like him a chance at a different career.

Created by Impact Films Academy, it hopes to give them a better future by providing opportunities in filmmaking and has collaborated with the Mind mental health charity for its first project – a short film called Kicks.  

Thankfully, the narrative around men’s football is slowly shifting from an era where players were urged to bottle up their emotion.

However, for many, not fast enough. Teen prodigy Joel Darlington – who had trials with Manchester United FC and represented Wales at youth level – took his own life in 2019 after injury halted his dreams.

Meanwhile, former players such as Marvin Sordell – who attempted suicide aged 23 due to the pressure he felt in his career – have since encouraged men to seek help.

In Kicks, Danny has utilised his experience and skills as a football choreographer for the short drama, which also features former footballer Barry Silkman. 

Barry played for several professional football clubs in the UK during 1970s and 80s, including Manchester City, Crystal Palace and Leyton Orient, and went on to represent some of the most successful football players in the world, including David Villa an Demba Ba, as an agent.  

‘The biggest pressure for me was probably more towards the end of my career as you realise in your mid-30s you’ve actually got to do something other than football,’ he tells Metro. 

‘I felt no pressure at the start of my career. I was released from QPR, Fulham and then Hereford as a young player. My only support system was my mum and dad but for me, that was enough. 

‘I was always very strong both physically and mentally from a young boy. It was probably being raised in the East End of London and having an incredibly strong mother that helped.

‘Also a big part of that was that neither of my parents put me under any kind of pressure to be a footballer, unlike a lot today who push their kids from a very young age sometimes as young as seven. That’s all wrong. I didn’t have any of that.’

Premier League football academies allow up to 250 boys to participate, making it possible for as many as 5,000 to be involved in the system at any given time.

However, according to Premier League statistics, less than 0.5% of those who enter the football academies at the age of nine will ever play for the first team.

Barry, 71, adds: ‘The biggest challenge is to get your first professional contract, no question. Clubs now take players from eight-years-old and that in my opinion is outrageous and should be stopped. 

‘13 or 14 should be the earliest any club can take a player and all clubs’ academies for under 13s should be closed down. Let kids be kids. It will help like you can’t believe. It’s football’s biggest problem.’

A damning statistic in author Michael Calvin’s 2017 book No Hunger in Paradise: The Players. The Journey. The Dream, shows of the 1.5 million players in organised youth football in England, around 180 – or 0.012% – will make it as a professional player at a Premier League club. 

That means most will have to find an alternative career despite many having dedicated their lives to the game.

Able Kpogho, 21, stars in Kicks as Patrick – a young footballer who is struggling after being dropped by his football team. 

The young player had a few unsuccessful trials at football academies, including Barnet, but despite this setback, remained determined to pursue his passion for the game. 

After receiving an offer to play football overseas on a scholarship in America, he declined it due to insufficient funding for tuition. He is now an actor, model and social media content creator, with more than 140,000 followers on TikTok.

‘Young footballers are under the pressure that you have to be in an academy by the age of 16 or else you’re not going to make it,’ Able tells Metro. 

‘Since many successful footballers are from the club’s academy and already in the system from a young age, it hints that you have to go down that route as well, but in reality, there are other options such as non-league when you’re older. 

‘One way is knowing that everyone makes mistakes and you too will make them. Your favourite footballers make errors daily but it’s about how you react and pick yourself up from the situation. 

‘No one is expecting you to have 100% pass completion or success rate in front of goal because that’s near impossible. We all fell in love with the sport because it’s fun so – as well as winning in some situations – that has to be your primary objective.’

Danny says that maintaining a healthy mindset helped him deal with the setbacks he had in football. 

‘Things I do to relieve stress when a game is approaching include making sure I prepare myself well so that I feel confident,’ he explains. ‘I also say good words of affirmation to contribute to me having a positive mindset when going into the game as this can help with the pressure and stress and in turn this helps my performance. 

‘I would say to view every setback as a lesson rather than failure and to keep a good routine in place to ensure structure which helps with feeling uneasy. 

‘My main support system was from my family rather than the clubs as it is my family who gets me through tough times.’

The Professional Footballers’ Association (PFA) provides comprehensive support through various services, including advice and guidance, emphasising continued personal development beyond the pitch. 

It also offers financial support and guidance to help players plan for their future careers, whether through accredited academic or vocational courses.

Paul Raven, the Head of Personal Development at the PFA, tells Metro: ‘We understand the profound impact that being released from a football club can have on young individuals. 

‘It’s a time filled with emotional challenges. Beyond dealing a blow to a long-held dream of becoming a professional footballer, being released often has a far-reaching effect on a player’s personal identity. 

‘It coincides with the loss of structured routines and the close-knit social circles nurtured within the club environment. It’s also not uncommon for players to grapple with a feeling that they’ve let down the family and friends who’ve invested in their journey.

He adds: ‘The football community must take an active role in managing the expectations of young players and their families, especially within the club environment. It’s vital to instil a broader perspective, emphasising the significance of education, personal growth, and alternative career paths alongside their football aspirations.’

Able, who makes his debut as an actor in Kicks, says: “A lot of boys can relate to the story of my character Patrick, especially when only 1% actually make it to be footballers. I saw the essence in him somewhat in me.’

While Danny adds: ‘Working on this film has allowed me to reflect on my football journey, which is still ongoing.’ 

When talking about the impact of the film, Barry says it’s vital that the people get to see what life as a young footballer is really like. 

‘The public never sees that side of it,’ he explains. ‘Someone with all those dreams and hopes, walks in believing they’re about to get a new contract and the manager tells them ‘very sorry, but you’re being released’. It’s a major letdown.

‘If a player gets released and he hasn’t got another club to go to, they should stay in contact and make sure they’re okay.’

Alex Bushill, is Head of Media and PR at Mind and says the charity is proud to have advised on the film.

‘Kicks brings to life some of the key issues affecting the mental health of young footballers. We know the power football can have as a platform to raise awareness about mental health and to break down taboos that prevent people from talking about it. 

He adds: ‘From our own research, we also know that when mental health issues are depicted on screen it can help people, particularly young people, feel less alone and be more likely to talk to someone about how they are feeling.’

Kicks also stars Rebecca Middlemist as India and Femi Ogunjobi as Dad and was filmed with the support of Old Finchleians Club and Dexters Adventure Playground. You can watch a behind the scenes video here.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing Kirsten.Robertson@metro.co.uk 

Share your views in the comments below.

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Empowering, strong, inspiring, game-changing.

These are just some of the words that describe the women being championed in Metro.co.uk’s Sisterhood List.

Echoing this year’s Black History Month theme of ‘Saluting our Sisters’, we wanted to acknowledge a collection of Black women across the UK who have lifted up, opened doors and advocated – not only for themselves but for their sisters and their community.

The list is by no means exhaustive. There are countless who have greatly impacted their communities and backed themselves when no one else would.

So here, we salute the success stories of just a few of the amazing Black women in Britain who are paving the way for generations to come.

Brenda Edwards

Singer, actress, and panellist on ITV daytime talk show Loose Women, Brenda rose to fame on the X Factor in 2005 before venturing into musicals and starring in the West End in hits like Chicago, We Will Rock You, Carousel, and Hairspray.

But her world came crashing down when last year, Brenda’s son, Jamal Edwards, creator of SBTV, died at the age of 31. The influential mogul had been awarded an MBE for his work which helped UK music acts including Dave, Stormzy, Jessie J and Ed Sheeran, who counted him as his best friend.

Brenda shared on Loose Women a private letter King Charles had sent to her, in which he expressed his sorrow and deepest condolences. Since Jamal’s death, she has set up a trust in his name to support disadvantaged young people, providing a sanctuary for the homeless and creating a community academy and she won a Hero Award following her campaigning work last year.

Brenda has spoken on Loose Women about her experiences with domestic abuse which left her ‘fearing for her life’ after an abusive ex tracked her down and she also raises money and awareness for various cancer charities after being diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer in 2016.

Fats Timbo

With almost three million followers on TikTok alone, disability campaigner Fats is a social media star with clout. Standing at four feet tall, the comedian and author used to be nervous about going out in public places but has built up her confidence as well as her voice to raise awareness. 

She was born with dwarfism but prefers to use the term ‘little people’, and feels the former term doesn’t sound ‘human.’

As a child, Fats saw herself as ‘cursed’ as she faced insults and jibes about her height. But as she grew older, her confidence emerged.

She has an army of followers online – bolstered by her appearance on Channel 4’s Undateables – and works to improve visibility for the Black disabled community. This includes encouraging brands to use disabled people in their advertising. 

‘There was no representation [for me] – I felt so alone when I was younger,’ Fats told the BBC last year.

‘But now, I’m representing, baby!’

Lady Phyll

Known by those who work with her as a ‘force to be reckoned with’, political activist Lady Phyll has spent a career campaigning for LGBTQIA+ rights around the world as one of Britain’s most prominent lesbian activists.

Her work began in secondary school when she found herself getting repeatedly kicked out of the classroom for asking too many questions. She didn’t understand why everyone was being taught about dead kings and queens as opposed to the legacy of slavery and the history of Africa.

Phyllis Opoku-Gyimah, also known as Dr Lady Phyll, co-founded UK Black Pride, the biggest LGBTQIA+ celebration of Black people in Europe and the event has grown year-on-year since its inception 18 years ago. Last year UK Black Pride was attended by 25,000 people making it Europe’s largest celebration for LGBTQI+ people of African, Asian, Caribbean, Latin American and Middle Eastern descent.

When she decided to set it up because Pride events felt ‘exclusive and unwelcoming’, Lady Phyll was told she’d ‘never get anywhere’, but now it is bigger, brighter and bolder than ever and this year included a family zone for the first time, ensuring its inclusive legacy continues for future generations.

Lady (so people don’t mistake her for a ‘bloke named Phil’) Phyll is also executive director of Kaleidoscope Trust, an organisation fighting for LGBTQIA+ rights around the world. She was offered an MBE in the New Year’s Honours list in 2016 in recognition of her work but she politely refused it in rejection of ‘colonialism and its toxic and enduring legacy’.

A trustee at Stonewall and member of the Trades Union Congress race relations committee, Lady Phyll has also won numerous awards for her work.

Liv Little

Writer, filmmaker and scriptwriter Liv is founder of the trailblazing gal-dem, a website and formerly print magazine run primarily by Black women.

Liv set up gal-dem in 2015 while studying at university because she was frustrated by the lack of diversity in the media and because she ‘wanted to create the sort of channel that I always wished existed’. Liv became its CEO at just 21, a role she stepped down from in 2020.

The magazine and podcast championed the perspectives of women and non-binary people of colour and helped many young writers launch their careers in a largely white, male industry, and boasted around 333,000 online visitors by 2021. gal-dem folded earlier this year due to financial instability caused by Covid and the economic downturn.

Liv was named a ‘new suffragette’ by Vogue magazine in recognition of her fight to empower women, has worked in India as a Health and Livelihoods Coordinator with Restless Development and has also championed Women for Refugee Women.

She has recently published her hotly anticipated novel Rosewater, a queer love story, published by superstar John Legend’s imprint Get Lifted Books. Speaking earlier this year, John said: ‘We want to elevate unrepresented voices and I feel like Rosewater is the perfect book to launch with.’

Dawn Butler

Dawn is a member of the Labour Party and is currently the MP for Brent Central, a position she has held continuously since 2015. 

She’s no stranger to making her voice heard – she was famously booted from the House of Commons after calling Boris Johnson a liar – and is committed to tackling racism, sexism and other inequalities in the UK.

Dawn is only the third Black woman to have ever been elected as an MP. She has struggled with racism in Parliament and, in 2019, was even mistaken for a cleaner. 

Writing for Metro.co.uk previously, Dawn said: ‘When it comes to race and equality we need to continually renew and progress because as soon as you take your foot off the pedal rights begin to roll back.

‘In this current political climate, I fear and worry that further rights are being rolled back, and this disrespect and intolerance of others is uncomfortably spreading.’

Following her successful battle with cancer in 2021, Dawn backed research by Barts Charity that would increase people of colour’s chances of surviving cancer. 

She’s currently working with Metro on a new podcast to encourage more women to get potentially life–saving mammograms.

Her recently released book, A Purposeful Life by Dawn Butler, explores her experiences with racism growing up and her drive to create change.

Patricia Bright

Patricia is a pioneer of the UK beauty community. She started her YouTube channel almost 13 years ago – using a shoebox to prop up her camera in her shared house in Manchester. 

Patricia had been inspired by her time in school where she’d style other girls’ hair. She soon realised she might as well impart her knowledge to people online. 

With an accounting and finance degree under her belt – she worked on growing her brand and worked with several large make-up, fashion and haircare companies.

Patricia is celebrated as one of the first Black British YouTubers to gain one million subscribers.

In 2020, she teamed up with make-up company Essence to ensure Black women could get a foundation shade that matched them perfectly. For years before, women of colour had searched in vain through limited options. Foundation for Black women would often have unflattering undertones or be impossible to match with skin tones.

Patricia also founded The Break Social to help women grow in their personal and professional lives. She interviews inspiring guests and offers advice on relationships, finance and empowerment.

Tolly T

Tolly T is one-third of The Receipts Podcast, which began in 2016 and sees more than 100,000 weekly listeners. The trio act as agony aunts, providing listeners with advice as well as cultural commentary and celebrity gossip.

Tolly T (real name Tolani Shoneye) was working as a journalist when she started the show, but when a male podcast host tweeted that their project wouldn’t work with women at the helm, Tolly and co-hosts Audrey Indome and Milena Sanchez quit their jobs and went full time.

As Tolly says: ‘There is pretty much a podcast for everything, but before we started there weren’t many that had the voices and stories of black and brown women in the UK. Our stories, our accents, our twangs were not represented in the podcast world. So we decided to do something about it.’

Their fresh humour, honesty and occasional drinking games were a hit and the show stands out in a largely white, largely middle-aged industry. The award-winning broadcast has sold out live shows and its debut book 2021 Keep The Receipts was a Sunday Times Bestseller.

Tolly also stars in Netflix’s 10/10 Would Recommend podcast series and continues to write for a number of publications, has produced and hosted on the BBC, appeared on The Big Breakfast for Channel 4 and has been part of various writers rooms.

Lydia Amoah

Lydia Amoah ‘still pinches herself’ as she leads the way in transforming workplaces for people of all backgrounds. 

The entrepreneur, based in Surrey, was once told she didn’t have ‘normal skin’ by a shop assistant.

In response, she set up the Black Pound Report to tackle how businesses treat their customers and explore the lack of representation in advertising of Black, Asian and Multi-Ethnic consumers.

The report, which began in 2018, looks into employment statistics to see how diverse and inclusive companies really are.

She later launched Backlight – a culture change agency – off the back of the success of the Black Pound Report. The company that helps companies become more inclusive.

She’s flown across the world to give talks and interviews and has helped thousands of people gain confidence to access career paths they felt weren’t for them.

Lydia was inspired by her parents – who emigrated to the UK from Ghana – to make a difference in society.

Her family faced racism and prejudice when they first arrived in the country and fought to be accepted. 

Lydia recently shared her inspiring story with Metro, saying: ‘I still pinch myself when acknowledging that I’m the first Black woman in the United Kingdom to conduct the most comprehensive study exploring the Black, Asian and Multi-Ethnic consumer spending power in the UK. It’s never been achieved before.

‘I am teaching something new about understanding, communicating, and being authentic without being tokenistic. I do feel so proud and honoured to be in this position.

Toni Tone

British Nigerian writer Toni is one of the stars of Highlife, the UK’s first Black-focused reality TV show which followed the lives and loves of a group of ambitious, glamorous young British West Africans – the self-proclaimed ‘Black Kardashians’.

Toni is well known for her inspiring and thought-provoking Twitter content, which has been re-shared by the likes of Hailey Bieber, Demi Lovato, Khloe Kardashian and Oprah Magazine. She has a following of 400k across the platforms, and regularly writes about love and relationships, with her tweet on ‘green flags’ going viral.

Her tweets caught the eye of HarperCollins who awarded her a book deal and her 2021 book, I Wish I Knew This Earlier: Lessons of Love, was an instant hit, debuting at number three on The Sunday Times bestsellers list. The book took an autobiographical look into how growing up in an environment of emotional unavailability and high stress can impact adult relationships.

Toni is the host of Radio 1Xtra’s Money Moves Podcast and an ambassador for Young Women’s Trust, representing women aged 16-30 who are struggling to live on little to no pay in England and Wales.

Clo and Tinuke

Technically two people, we know, but the amazing work Clo Abe and Tinuke Awe have achieved with the charity they founded together meant we had to include them both.

Now mothers of two, it was in 2018 when the pair first heard the shocking statisticthat Black women are five times more likely to die in childbirth than white women. A year later, they found Five X More, a movement dedicated to lowering this figure. 

Within two years, the group’s petition to the government asking them to improve Black women’s mortality rates received 187k signatures. It was debated in parliament, which marked a historic chapter in the fight for equal rights. 

Clo and Tinuke’s success in taking on the Government had come in the wake of George Floyd’s murder and the subsequent Black Lives Matter movement.

Both women have no plans to slow down in their work – and recently created ‘Colourful Birth Wallets’ for black pregnant women in London hospitals. The packs include vital information on pregnancy and key details on maternity rights.

And their campaigning has paid off – Black women are now 20% less likely to die in childbirth. However there is still a long way to go, which is why they created the Black Maternal Health awareness week in a bid to keep their momentum going and save the lives of black mothers.

Speaking earlier this year, Awe said: ‘The statistics can be really scary, but our charity isn’t here to fearmonger. We don’t want women to be scared, we just want to give them advice on how they can be empowered to advocate for themselves.’

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Five years after his father died, Justin Hardy received six sacks of documents that had sat in the loft of his old family home in the Midlands for 50 years.

Among them were scripts, photos, story boards and personal letters all relating to one film: The Wicker Man.

Although a dud when it first came out in 1973, the move has since gained cult status, with Empire Magazine even calling it ‘the Best British horror film ever made’. A recent re-release of the movie won five-star reviews. 

The film was the directorial debut of Justin’s father Robin Hardy, which he bluntly says ‘f***ed up my family.’

Set on a fictional Scottish island, the story tells of a devoutly Christian police officer (Edward Woodward), who, investigating the disappearance of a local girl, is shocked to discover a town of dancing pagans led by charismatic cult leader Lord Summerisle (played by horror movie icon Christopher Lee).

One of the pagans Willow MacGregor (Britt Ekland) attempts to seduce the officer, who has unknowingly been lured to the island for a sacrificial ceremony. 

From phallic sweets and child torture, to eerily beautiful scenery and a movie ending that still shocks to the core – it was a film made to unsettle the audience from the off.

However British Lion, the studio which had bankrolled it, hated the finished product.

They dismissed it as one of the worst movies in history and refused to promote it. In the months after it was released, Christopher Lee (Lord of the Rings, Dracula, Star Wars), who played Lord Summerisle, called critics on the phone, begging them to come to a screening, even offering to pay for their tickets.

It was a flop. But then it wasn’t.

Now, fifty years on, Justin and his brother Dominic Hardy, are taking another look at why the film initially bombed only to end up being revered by movie buffs – and also give insight through their documentary Wickermania!, into the chaotic, heartbreaking impact it had on their family.  

Prior to his infamous movie, Robin had already forged a successful career in advertising, Justin tells Metro. They lived in ‘a very nice house’ in Belgravia with his wife Caroline, Justin and his sister Arabella.

However, after the film’s catastrophic reception, Caroline, who had invested all her money in it, was saddled with the debts while Robin packed his suitcase and left for the US in 1974. It was reported that the director was forced to sleep on a bench in Central Park on his arrival in New York. 

Before he left, Robin came to see his son at school to say goodbye, telling Justin he was leaving and giving him a Saint Christopher, wishing him protection in his travels.

‘That was rather dramatic,’ remember Justin, who now works as a historian filmmaker. ‘Then he was off and that was that.’

With no alternative and no money, Caroline had to sell the London house and move the family the midlands. For the next four years, Justin assumed his dad was dead.

 ‘My mother was trying to get some response from him, and eventually had to divorce him on the grounds of not having heard from him; he explains. 

‘My sister had to change her name from Arabella to Joanna in order to be able to survive a Banbury comprehensive. It was a pretty big, pretty seismic, social change. All these years I have had people saying to me: “God. You’re so lucky. Your dad made The Wicker Man.” But that’s not quite how I see it.

‘It was a very sad time. Because, apart from everything else, I’m going: “Well, where’s Dad? Are we going to see him tomorrow? Are we going to see him next week?” And my mother said: “I have no idea. I don’t know where he is. I don’t know how to reach him.”.

‘I guess it wasn’t a particularly happy childhood view of your dad, adds Justin, who lives in Oxfordshire. ‘It felt like “Where’s the protection? You’ve left my mother with all this?” And she got very ill. She did effectively turn to the bottle and died of liver cirrhosis. The f***-up of this film led to to a downward spiral for the Hardys’.’  

Five years after he vanished, Robin returned to the UK, flying over to watch his son act in a play, clutching an article about how well the film was doing in San Francisco. 

Justin remembers: ‘I’m not even sure he gave me any notice that he was coming. He was like that. And so at the end of it, I was having my makeup taken off and this man appeared and said: “Hello. I’m your father.” I thought – I was rather glad he didn’t tell me before I went onstage.’

Was Justin pleased to see him? Did he forgive him for deserting him? ‘The psychological truth is that you would have thought a child would say: “Hey, I’m not talking to you. Where have you been all this time?” but the reality is, you don’t do that,’ he says. ‘It’s like you have a second opportunity to meet your dad. And all you want to do is please your dad so he doesn’t go away again. So he didn’t get any pushback from me for a number of years.’

Justin learned that the movie had received a better reception across universities and American film festivals, and people began to see the movie in a new light. 

Soon, it was revived as a cult classic – but the damage it had already done to Robin’s family was  irreparable.

‘I had to grow up with my sister with a very, very bitter and disappointed, quite heavily-drinking mother,’ remembers Justin. ‘When she died in 1984 in some ways, it was a sort of merciful ending to what had been a sort of horrible endurance.’ 

Robin eventually had eight children by six different women. As Justin explains: ‘He had form for having a child, being married to a bit of an heiress, the money starts to run out and he moves on.’ 

One of these children was Dominic Hardy, who didn’t properly get to know his dad until 1969 when his mum took him to the UK from their home in Canada. 

In the subsequent years, Dominic would fly as an unaccompanied child and spend three to six weeks with Robin and his siblings at summertime or at Christmas.

Dominic, a professor of art history in Montreal, remembers: ‘I discovered this whole family. Justin and Arabella were the youngest at the time. The summer of 1970, when seven of us were all together for the one and only time, was a mythical time for me. It had such an impact on me. I think the others felt the same way. We really sought each other out in adulthood and made up for lost years.’

Dominic’s memory of Robin was that he was a ‘flamboyant, charming and in many ways, admirable person. And absolutely fascinating.’ 

He didn’t meet him for the first time until he was six years old, his first memory of being taken on a day trip to a planetarium, the park and being bought a train set, the pair of them together on the floor of his bedroom setting up the tracks.

‘That was the only memory I had of seeing him with my mum,’ says Dominic. ‘I had a lot of admiration for him and a lot of emulation. But also worry too. because just before I was 11 he suffered a heart attack, which nearly killed him.’

Justin adds: ‘That was a big moment in our family’s history. We all thought he was going to die. He started writing letters to us all. You’re not supposed to be able to make a film if you’ve had a heart attack because you can’t get insured.’ 

Robin was just 41 at the time, and lucky to survive to finish the film.

Dominic was mesmerised by the screening when the movie first came out. 

Just 12 years old, he was shocked by its ending and stunned by the sexualised scenes. 

Fifty years later, he has seen the film with fresh eyes, thanks to the discovery of endless paperwork left in boxes in that midlands attic. When the Hardy’s house was sold, the documents remained – until lockdown, when the buyer approached Justin to return them.

Robin had died in 2016 and when Justin was offered the documents five years later, he rejected them, asking – why dredge up the past? However, following counsel from others, he eventually accepted the boxes and spent time looking through them with Dominic who flew over to the UK from Canada to help. 

Their findings have since inspired the pair to make a documentary. ‘We want to tell the story of the making of ‘The Wicker Man’ from within, from what these documents tell us,’ explains Dominic.’It’s a unique perspective.’ 

 Justin adds: ‘It was a treasure trove and it took a long time to go through. It was extraordinary to see the letters from Christopher Lee saying, “I think I may have found this project”. From Shaffer saying, “I want to support you to direct your first film”. There’s an extraordinary amount of written material that pertains to every stage of the making of an independent movie.’

However, it’s been a difficult discovery.

‘I frequently wish I had never gone through it,’ admits Justin. ‘History is a strange thing. It’s difficult to know if you’re reading a partial view. [But] we want to find forgiveness. We want to find reparation. We want to find resolution. 

Every child wants to find that. And if you don’t, you’re only damaging yourself.

‘[Robin Hardy] is a man that was multisided – this is a film that is multisided, thats got good and bad in it. But do you know what? So many people love it and I found there really is a love for my dad among Wicker Man fans. And I’ve tried to catch some of that.’

Wickermania! will be premiering in 2024.

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At 29, I’m a little on the young side to be having a dose of botulinum toxin – often known by the famous brand name, Botox.

However, anti-wrinkle injections are becoming ever-popular among the younger generations, from the likes of 22-year-old Love Island alums to Ariana Grande, 30, who shared recently that she’d had Botox and fillers in the past. For a while now, I too have been eyeing up the needle.

In 2021, Botox-style injections were banned for under-18s, after government findings estimated that 41,000 treatments had been given to those below that age in 2020.

But that hasn’t dulled its popularity. In 2022, members of the British College of Aesthetic Medicine carried out 315,000 individual procedures of botulinum toxin injections. With around 8% of patients aged 18 to 24, that still equals over 25,000 procedures for that age bracket.

At London aesthetic clinic, Tweak East, I’m told by co-founder Anika Soczywko, that while most of their clients are over 30, the youngest person they’ve ever injected was just 24 – a special case, she says, as the woman in question had lived a ‘hard, fun life.’

‘We usually turn people away if they are under 25, they have no evidence of static lines or their skin is still plump,’ Anika tells me.

‘This plumpness is proof of collagen cells still being active, which tend to go dormant later in the 20s.’

That being said, she adds that it’s ‘quite rare’ for them to have to turn anyone away, with most of their clients being at least 27.

‘On the exceptional occasion where we would treat someone younger than this, we would take into account how much their static lines are affecting them,’ she explains.

‘Every client has a different story, with different reasons, which could lead to the early onset of fine lines. It’s the responsibility of the injector to talk this through thoroughly with them.’

While some of their twentysomething clients seek out fillers to get rid of the early signs of fine lines, others say it’s a preventative measure – although there’s debate as to whether Botox can indeed prevent wrinkles further down the line.

Emily Ruse first got anti-wrinkle injections at the tender age of just 20.

At the time she worked at Illuminate Skin Clinic, which proved an incentive as she got her treatments at a lower cost.

‘I loved the effects of Botox,’ she admits. ‘It has that instant gratification as you only need one treatment to see that it’s having an effect, whereas skin treatments require more time and commitment.’

Emily continued having the injections until she was 23, but eventually gave them up to focus on other long-term anti-ageing products, such as microneedling, HydraFacials, and SPF.

Now 25, she aims to do this for the next five years, then says she will evaluate other options once she hits 30.

‘I believe that working on my overall skin quality and boosting my collagen levels is more proactive at this age, and will prevent the amount of corrective work that I need to do in the future,’ explains Emily, a Kent-based director of Bloom & Beyond Studio.

29-year-old Georgia Eather tells me that she first started getting injections in her forehead two years ago, in a bid to treat lines that had already appeared.

She spends £195 a session once or twice a year at The Aesthetics Club in Notting Hill, adding that she’s ‘really happy with the results’.

‘I started noticing some deep lines in between my brows about two years ago and thought about getting Botox to treat these,’ recalls Georgia, a PR manager.

‘I’m conscious that I’m young, so I get minimal amounts of products across spaced-out sessions, but I do love the confidence that it gives me. I’ll definitely keep getting it.’

Now, I’m staring down the barrel of 30.

Caught between the unrealistic pressures of social media and the desire to simply look my best, I thought it was a good time to ask the professionals some questions.

The first? Whether or not it was too soon for me to start getting serious with anti-wrinkle injections.

’30 tends to be a milestone for people wanting to take more action surrounding their self-image,’ Anika explains to me. ‘Many are starting to develop fine lines which can be seen at rest. It’s a great time to start anti-wrinkle treatments, as this category of clients tends to see a much better result versus those who have much deeper-set wrinkles.’

It’s nice to know that I’m not alone – or totally off-base – in being curious about Botox at this age.

‘For the younger individuals,’ Anika adds, ‘we are aiming for a lighter preventative treatment and clients will return for further treatments often between the six and 12-month mark.’

In comparison, people in their 40s and 50s tend to get it every three to four months.

I’m informed at aesthetics clinic Tweak East that one concern with starting anti-wrinkle treatments young is that people can build up a resistance if their practitioners are not careful. There are also dangers of the muscles in the face beginning to waste away.

‘Botulinum toxin works by relaxing the muscles, in this case the muscles of facial expression,’ adds Anika. ‘If we over-treat and the muscles are never used or exercised, then they will atrophy.

‘In severe cases, this can result in skin laxity [aka loss of firmness and sagging] around the affected muscles.’

When asked her thoughts on wrinkle prevention, Anika tells me: ‘It’s a fine balance between starting [anti-wrinkle treatments] unnecessarily early and potentially leaving it until lines are deep.

‘Remember prevention should also be underpinned by other factors including diet, hydration, avoidance of smoking and direct sunlight, and crucially an excellent skincare routine – SPF is compulsory every day of the year.

‘It is also of utmost importance that a thorough consultation is incorporated to ensure a tailored treatment plan for each individual. One size doesn’t fit all.’

Speaking of her own Botox experience, Georgia says: ‘I had a full consultation before any work was done to make sure my reasons for getting it were clear, and I wasn’t being unduly influenced or had body dysmorphia.

‘I get Botox for me and for no one else – and I think that’s an important distinction.’

It’s still hard not to feel a little bit worried about such undue influence when people who’ve only just entered their 20s are worried about wrinkles. I made it clear at Tweak East that I would be very receptive to being told that actually, I need no improvement and that my skin was perfect just the way it is.

This turned out to not quite be the case.

They took a good look at me and said that, while a lot of my fine lines are dynamic (meaning they only show up when my face moves in a certain way) there was a little static (meaning it sticks around when my face isn’t moving) line or two on my forehead.

They explained that anti-wrinkle injections don’t turn back time at the jab sites so much as stop it, thus masking dynamic lines and keeping existing static lines from getting worse.

So, with that in mind, they suggested putting a small amount of botulinum toxin there as well as in my strong frown.

When the injecting started, I was a bit nervous about the needle, but I needn’t have been – it’s no exaggeration to say you can barely feel it, and it’s all over before you know it.

Watching it kick in over the next few weeks was interesting – at one point I could barely frown, and only the outer parts of my brows would raise. It took some getting used to, but I’ll admit I didn’t miss my old frown or forehead very much.

The date of my appointment was 14 May, and by 5 July, I could see it wearing off big time. Thankfully I’ve got a fringe, so I’m more than happy to wait the recommended six months to a year before going back for more.

My overall experience at the clinic was so nice (almost too easy – I can see why these anti-wrinkle treatments are so popular) and I won’t be shy about going back for other procedures in the future.

However, one word of advice Emily has for people who might be interested in trying anti-wrinkle treatments like she did, is to not cut corners with the cost – if you can’t afford it, not doing it at all is far better than going to a shoddy clinic.

‘Don’t put a price tag on your face,’ she stresses. ‘You’ve just got the one!’

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

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In the bustling town of Asni, the rooftops were once full of activity. Especially in the boarding houses of a girls’ education charity where groups would read, chatter, work or sing.

Now the rooftops are silent. If they are even there at all.

It’s been just over two weeks since a powerful 6.8 magnitude earthquake struck Morocco, killing over 3,000 people, tearing buildings apart and exposing inhabitants to the cold nighttime air of the High Atlas mountains.

Some of the house mothers of Education For All (EFA) were in their boarding houses, ready for the girls to start of term, when the walls cracked and the bricks fell.

The UK charity has been operating a network of six residences in the High Atlas region since 2007, housing young women from poor, remote villages. During the week they live in the accommodation – meals and resources provided – and go to local schools, then return home to their villages and families at the weekend.

Years of hard work have gone into building trust with the local communities.

In the charity’s early days, a respected local elder and member of the committee went from door to door to convince mothers and fathers that their daughter would be well cared for by the house mothers.

In more recent years, the houses have had to turn away more girls than they could accept, with numbers reaching around 250 across the six houses. 

I can personally attest to the care and amazing bonds within the boarding houses, having visited three in Asni for a journalism project in October 2022.

The sheer warmth and generosity of everyone I met – and the taste of countless mint teas – has stayed with me since. As have the hopes and dreams of the girls I encountered; future doctors, nurses, teachers, business owners, tourism guides.

And while removed from the situation, the wait for news of the girls was still painful. Waking up to the news of an earthquake in Morocco made my stomach drop, finding out Asni was one of the worst hit places broke my heart.

The boarding houses are like family to these young women. The girls are sisters.

‘The house mothers call the girls their daughters. These houses are their homes,’ CEO Sonia Omar tells Metro. It’s why the wait for news of the girls’ safety was ‘extremely distressing’ for everyone involved. Some villages are so remote that there is no signal and others were cut off by dangerous roads and rockfalls.

‘So despite having a team working around the clock to mark each person safe, it took over one agonising week for a final list. Unfortunately, one girl did not survive.’

After witnessing the dynamics of the houses first hand, it’s not surprising that even in the immediate aftermath of the earthquake – having lost homes and family members of their own – the house mothers were there for EFA.

Omar says one slept outside of a boarding house for two nights to ensure no one would enter via the now gaping holes in the walls. Such is the loyalty the organisation elicits; ‘but of course, we said for her safety, she just shouldn’t stay there.’ 

Cruelly, the six houses that EFA run are in the locations surrounding the epicentre of the earthquake. The damage is extensive. It’s currently thought that four of the six houses will need to be demolished and rebuilt in their entirety.

After 17 years of work, it’s not something the charity can afford – monetarily, or in terms of progress. Omar credits EFA with ‘transforming entire communities by obstructing cycles of illiteracy.’

In the mountainous region, poor infrastructure means some villages are only reachable by foot and schools are too difficult to access. It’s even tougher for girls who face pressure to marry and stay at home. Omar believes that ensuring girls receive an education can transform their lives and that of their families, as they become educated mothers. 

But despite being in those remote villages, surrounded by the ruins of their homes and having lost family members, every effort is being made to get them back to school. EFA’s crisis appeal has already amassed just over £200,000, but this is just a fraction of what the charity needs to achieve both short and long term goals.

They estimate they will need £1 million to rebuild the houses and even more for short term care, psychological support and lodgings.

The Moroccan government has now indicated that while all schools in High Atlas remain closed, students will be relocated to near Marrakech.

In an Instagram update, Omar said the charity is on to the ‘next phase’ of finding temporary accommodation for the girls. But she adds: ‘the government proposed accommodation is not suitable for many reasons and we want to honour the trust of the families who want the girls under our supervision’. 

For Omar, a worry bigger than that of temporary accommodation is the fear that the progress made in the ‘sustainable solution’ of education will slide. She acknowledges that ‘it’s always been harder, but this is going to escalate the difficulties and, potentially, young people might not even prioritise education. Now they’ve got so much to do in their communities. Helping their families. Grieving.’

Losing momentum on the progress they’ve made is a tangible fear.

Despite the sheer level of rebuilding work facing not just the charity, but the entire region, Omar has found glimmers of hope. And, she says, proof of their project’s success, rattling off a list of former EFA students now leading relief efforts in their own villages.

Asma Ait Taleb, who boarded with EFA for four years before attending university in Marrakech, was in her village of Ouigrane when the earthquake struck.

While her family house was mercifully undamaged, the rest of her village didn’t fare as well and many lost their lives. She credits the skills she had the opportunity to learn because of EFA – namely becoming proficient in English and French – for helping to bring aid.

She says she was able to ‘reach out to a bigger community because it’s not like when you just speak Arabic’. Asma describes the situation in her village as ‘good’ and she is hopeful of rebuilding her life there.

EFA is also full of hope. They say they need to ‘start again’ and are realistic that their operations might have to change.

In a video update on their Instagram page, founder Mike McHugo said ‘some of the girls have become orphans, and what are we going to do about that? I said we would have to make one of the houses an orphanage.’

However, with changes and rebuilding comes cost. It’s why Omar describes the fund as ‘critical’, but adds she is certain they ‘are not going to wait a year before we are supporting the girls with education.’

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There’s no doubt about it, the ‘spiritual service industry’ is big business.

In fact, it’s making megabucks. Worth $3.6billion last year alone, it’s only predicted to increase.

No longer seen as fun seaside pier fodder, whether you’re after an aura cleanse, tarot read or psychic encounter, you can find it with the tap of a button, any time, anywhere – and for any price.

It’s no surprise, considering there are currently 3.8billion views on TikTok for #astrology, 12.6billion views for #astrologytiktok, and 74.9billion views for #zodiacsigns.

With Gen Zers and millennials most closely associated with this the astrology revival, 43% of Gen Z women even said they would make a big decision based on astrology.

But it’s not just us ‘civilians’ who love a bit of spiritually. Gemma Collins famously spent over a £1,000 pounds on a psychic after a breakup, in the hope she and her ex would get back together, while Kendall Jenner and Taylor Swift love a bit of tarot card action. Then there’s Anya Taylor-Joy of Queen’s gambit fame, who even carrries her own cards and crystals around with her.

But there’s one spiritual practice in particular that is making massive social media waves: tarot readings.

On TikTok, practitioners charge set fees for card readings, however a ‘live’ video – which is more for their collective following – is free, although donations are more than welcome, the audiences are told.

Viveca Chow, 28, is a Broadway musical performer living in New York and has paid a TikTok tarot reader ‘multiple times’.

She considers herself ‘picky and cautious of who I get a reading from’ and these days she has a go-to practitioner that she uses to help guide her through life when things get tricky.

‘I came across her TikTok live where she gives free mini readings to viewers,’ Viveca tells Metro.co.uk.

‘I happened to get picked for one of those readings after staying on the live for a while, and she said something about me being in an upcoming advert. The next week, I was part of a Pepsi commercial.

‘I was very surprised when it happened, but comforted in a way. It was cool to have something come into fruition that felt like it was mine. 

‘I actually didn’t make the link when it first happened, but when I remembered, I was like “Oh my god!”.

‘That prediction got me very curious about booking a private reading with her, so I did.

‘Overall, she was very positive which is why I like her, and everything seems to be aligned with what she’s said so far.

‘For example, she told me that she “is seeing a lot of dollar signs” during my readings, and that money was incoming. I’m very happy to say that I’ve had a really nice steady increase of money and I’m at the best financial phase I ever have been in my entire life.

‘But she does also give me cautious advice, such as warning me that there are friends in my life who are a bit envious of me.

‘She said she sensed female energy, and it wasn’t that they’re malicious or a bad person, but it was a lot of insecurity. She told me to take note of this and show the friend some tender love and care. That turned out to be true, and it informed how I treated that person.’

Viveca isn’t the only one to have made TikTok her go-to for Tarot. A spokesperson for the social media platform told Metro.co.uk: ‘Tarot card readings have taken TikTok by storm. The #tarot hashtag alone boasts 65billion views. Beyond the cards and stars, users are exploring the power of crystals, with #crystaltok achieving 7.1billion views.’

However, similar stats can be found on the likes of Instagram too, and platforms including YouTube and Etsy are also hugely popular with tarot users.

Viveca says she donates to her reader’s TikTok lives intermittently – usually around $10 (£8) – on top of the cost of private sessions which are $30 (£24) for 20 minutes. She does this on an ad hoc basis, and has been as of three years ago.

‘I do think it’s worth it. She is the only spiritual guide on TikTok I have invested in,’ she adds.

Having built up this relationship with her reader, Viveca says she often reaches out to astrology to help soothe her, when she previously didn’t. It’s become a kind of coping mechanism.

‘I love a good tarot reading, but I don’t want to become dependent on it,’ she adds.

‘Sometimes it ruins life’s adventures when you’re expecting or anticipating news of some sort, good or bad. However, there’s also something very comforting when you find a tarot reader who is able to give you some faith.

‘There’s no proof of course, but I always leave the sessions more empowered and positive and that’s what’s important to me.’

While Viveca says that she’s only had good experiences with her reader, it’s not always the case.

Kerry Ward, Metro.co.uk’s resident astrologist, warns that scammers often lurk on social media ready to pounce on those seeking spiritual reassurance.

‘As in all fields and walks of life, there are unscrupulous people,’ she says.

‘However, I can honestly say I have never encountered a genuine tarot reader who was in it to rip people off. The main scourge of our profession right now is online scammers.

‘They set up fake social media accounts. I have had many of them using my image, posts, name and creating a “handle” that looks like my Instagram name but tweaks it with a changed letter, so it fools people that it’s me.

‘Then they follow my followers and get them to follow back. And then they start DMing them, pretending to be me and telling them they need a reading and then asking for money.’

Instagram is the main venue for this type of hoax, and in Kerry’s experience the app they rarely removes the accounts. However, most astrology devotees are getting wise to it, she believes.

Pepper*, who is in her late 20s and is based in London, regularly uses tarot readers.

Having experienced disappointing results amongst the magic, she’s keen to keep her identity hidden as she works in sales and doesn’t want colleagues to know about her personal spending habits for fear of being judged.

She tells Metro she purchases readings via Etsy and YouTube, and also sometimes goes to Covent Garden market for face-to-face experiences.

On Etsy, Pepper spends £4 and can ask three questions, which she will then receive a paragraph-long answer for each one within 24 hrs. For the YouTube psychic, it’s £60 for a 30 minute reading.

That comes to around £66 a month on spiritual buys, though she also will occasionally spend on other things in the industry, having tried crystals, her own tarot decks, and aura readings.

‘I use them often if I’m going through something in my life,’ explains Pepper.

‘If it’s heartbreak for example, the cheap £4 ones I use weekly to ask about the situation. The expensive ones I tend to do once a month.

‘I usually ask about romance, and sometimes about work. They have sometimes got it wrong, and it leaves me disappointed.’

She once encountered a psychic that she used once and vowed never again.

‘This was a few years ago, I was very upset that a man I was seeing ended it very abruptly after Covid. She said he was regretting this and deciding between me and another woman, but she was adamant he would choose me.

‘Although she was right in part – he was deciding between me and another woman – but he chose her instead.

‘When I told her this, she told me to book in for another reading straight away and that’s when I thought, this particular psychic just wants my money.

‘I got over it, but it can give false hope.’

Pepper recalls how on other occasions multiple readers predicted she would have children with a man she’d began dating, and that they’d be in a serious relationship in the near future. However, in reality, the man stopped replying to her soon after the readings.

Even so, it didn’t leave her feeling too concerned.

‘I have a strong understanding that energy is constantly changing, especially when it involves another person,’ she explains. ‘So when things don’t work out the way that a psychic tells me they will, I know that this is often because the energy of the other person has changed.

‘I do sometimes still hold hope for the future in certain situations that haven’t worked out instantly, but I take everything with a pinch of salt.’

That’s why, for now, Pepper says she still happy to pay to have readings.

‘The cards created a sense of excitement, almost like a dopamine hit,’ she says. ‘I never invest more in the person I’m dating as a result of the reading though.

‘I just become more excited for my potential future with them. Although, it does make me think that maybe things won’t happen that have been shown in the cards anymore, which is a little disappointing.’

‌According to astrologer Kerry, people need to be vigilant if they’re looking to a psychic or tarot reader online.

‘To tell if someone is legitimate, look how long they’ve been around, if they write for recognised publications or have their own books and decks,’ she advises.

‘Read their reviews. Very similar to if you were trying to choose a plumber or accountant. Do some homework. Never ever respond to “phishing” where someone DMs you and tells you that you need a reading. This is fake.’

There are of course financial issues at stake here. Astrology is a business after all, and there is money to be made from willing clients.

As for the future of astrology, it’s influence only looks set to keep growing.

Aura readings – which first came to light, so to speak, in the 90s – are proving hugely popular nearly 30 years later, with holistic centres offering them, such as Covent Garden’s The Astrology Shop, and content creators sharing videos of their aura experiences.

Kerry adds, for those unsure but in search of astrological guidance: ‘My advice around readings, and even reading horoscopes, is to enjoy it, use it as a life tool, but not to rely on it or take the advice over and above professional or expert opinions (especially medical or legal).

‘Legally, tarot readings are classed as “entertainment purposes only” and I kind of agree,’ she adds.

‘When I spot clients coming to me too often or displaying symptoms of continued mental anguish or “chasing” answers – usually about love – by having the same reading over and over, then I withdraw the service, refund them, and advise them to seek a different kind of help.’

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

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Rachel Perera spent more than a year working four jobs to support herself and her eight-year-old daughter. 

‘I was constantly worn down. I just didn’t have a minute to breathe,’ the single mum recalls.

‘I wasn’t seeing my child at all either and she was really suffering. I continuously felt stressed and was always rushing to get back to her. I wasn’t performing for my work or my little girl.’

In short, Rachel says, ‘I didn’t feel I was being a good mum.’

Like her, thousands of single mothers are impacted by the ‘single mother penalty’ as they juggle solo parenthood and their careers. Of course, there are fathers who take on this role and also face an overwhelming balancing act, but the reality is 90% of single parents are women. 

‘Society expects single mothers to do it all – to be the perfect mother, while also being a diligent worker,’ explains Ruth Talbot, Founder of Single Parent Rights. 

‘The daily juggle they undertake reflects just how determined, resourceful, and hard working they are. However, this comes at a cost for many who report high levels of stress levels. 

‘Perhaps it is not surprising then that more single mothers report problems with their mental health than those who are married.’ 

It was six years ago that Rachel, now 40, split up with the father of her daughter, Jasmine. 

Being newly single, Rachel decided it would be better to move from her home in London to Manchester, where her mum lived, so she could help out more, and started working at a big PR agency in the city centre.

Rachel tells how, thanks to an hour-long commute from her home to work, it soon became routine to only see Jasmine briefly at bedtime. 

However, it was a routine she wasn’t prepared to accept, and in May 2022, she decided to ditch her successful career and take a 50% pay cut for a low-level entry position at a market research firm three days a week, in a bid to create a better work/life flexibility.

But there was a hitch. In order to afford her mortgage and all the bills, Rachel had to to take on more work, and ending up with three more part-time jobs – at a communications agency once a week, fundraising for a kids cancer charity twice a week, and doing social media for a housing development as and when she could fit it in.  

She says she ended up saying ‘yes’ to any work opportunities that came her way because she had an ‘innate worry’ that if she stopped, ‘it would all crumble.’

‘I’d left Manchester to have more time with Jasmine, but it was even crazier,’ Rachel admits. ‘I was working twice as much. I was getting up in the morning, dropping her at school, working all day, coming back to give her tea while I’d still be working, put her down and I’d still be working, and I was working weekends. I got to the point I was making myself ill.

‘I was constantly snapping at my daughter,’ she adds. ‘It wasn’t her fault. I just panicked all the time. It was like being on a hamster wheel.’

Rachel can still remember the moment when she knew things had gone too far – it was the day she forgot to send Jasmine into school with a fancy dress costume for a dress up day.  

‘She was the only one not to go in fancy dress,’ she says. ‘I felt awful.’

It was a mistake any parent could make, but for Rachel it was just another failure as a single parent. 

Since then, her workload unexpectedly halved after two of her jobs fell through. Thankfully, the two she’s been left with are the better paid roles.

‘It worked out for the best because it wasn’t sustainable,’ says Rachel, adding that she finally feels like she can breathe again. 

‘Now I think about what I need to survive on,’ she explains. ‘Because, really, I just want quality time with my daughter.’ 

It was eight years ago that Kerry Davies became a single parent. Although she and her ex share custody, it was decided that their two children, Poppy and Ted, who were aged two and seven at the time, would live with Kerry in Northamptonshire for most of the time – which meant she had to quickly learn how to navigate parenting and a career on her own.  

‘I had to take the month off work,’ the 41-year-old sleep specialist remembers. ‘The difficulty of going through a breakup and becoming a single mum, was a huge realisation. My mental health suffered and my doctor diagnosed me with PTSD.’

After some time off work, Kerry returned to her job where she worked 28 hours a week, anxious about how she would pay the bills and get the kids to nursery, school, extracurricular activities, all while attempting to remain an exemplary employee. 

‘Trying to maintain a level of professionalism was virtually impossible,’ she remembers. 

Kerry had to rearrange her work schedule to fit around morning and afternoon school runs, after school clubs, and bedtimes. Any career aspirations she might have had came to a sudden halt.  

‘They [the children] were my priority,’ she remembers. ‘They had to come first. For those first two years, I didn’t think about anything except for just getting by.’

With her part-time salary and the top-up of government benefits, Kerry scraped by for the next three years. After paying monthly bills, she was left with only £400 each month to cover things like food, dance classes for her daughter, clothes, and petrol. 

‘I felt trapped in our home because I couldn’t afford to do anything,’ she says. 

Then, as Ted was about to start school in 2019, Kerry quit her job after deciding to try to start her own business. To keep the bills paid, she signed up to work overnight bank shifts as a healthcare assistant, while the children slept over at her mum’s. 

With her shift finishing it at 9.30am, it meant she had just a few hours to sleep  – ‘which felt like a nap’ she says – and also work on developing her new business, until the children came home from school.

‘It was a really exhausting time. I was sleep-deprived. I was often moody and stressed,’ she remembers.’Looking back, it shows the lengths we go to and the resilience we have when trying to provide the best for our family.’

Later than year Kerry had set up her sleep specialist business The Sleep Fixer, which aims to help both children and adults deal with sleep deprivation, and was able to quickly find work. 

Although covid initially hampered plans, once the pandemic settled down, Kerry was subcontracted to work for ‘loads of different places’ where she could choose her own hours.  

Even though being her own boss has given Kerry financial stability and flexibility, she is quick to say it hasn’t been the ‘magic bullet’ fix – trying to have a career as a single parent is still incredibly hard. 

‘I really want to build my business,’ she says. ‘But my children are still my priority. It’s hard to know when to take the next leap with everything. What if I try and build it too quickly and the spinning plates start to drop?’

‘When a child falls ill or there’s an unexpected commitment, it either means cancelling on clients or seeking my mum’s help, especially if I have an online workshop or presentation scheduled. Sometimes, I’ve had to decline work that requires traveling, as it becomes a childcare challenge if it’s an early morning departure.’

While Kerry suffered many hurdles as a single parent starting up her own business, Ruth Talbot from Single Parent Rights adds that those working under an employer are often penalised due to ‘a triple whammy of discrimination from colleagues and managers, structural bias within organisations, which disadvantage them, and a childcare system, which is expensive and fails to meet the needs of single parent families.’

She emphasises for single parents of colour, or those living with disabilities, the barriers are even greater. 

Meanwhile, research from the group in 2021 found that up to 80% of single parents had faced some form of discrimination in the workplace, such as bullying, exclusion from promotions, or denied flexible working or professional development opportunities. A third reported they had been rejected from a role due to their single parent status. 

‘The single motherhood penalty results in many missing out on a positive workplace experience, promotions and professional development opportunities, earning a decent salary and – in some cases – having the choice to spend time with their children,’ adds Talbot. 

Maria Kordowicz was a single parent of young children for nine years, all the while plugging away at her career in academia. 

The 41-year-old describes life then as, ‘overwhelming, fatiguing, all-encompassing… It was a constant juggling act.’

Spending ‘hundreds of thousands of pounds’ on childcare, Maria says she was constantly trying to make ends meet to put food and the table and make sure everyone was clothed. 

At the time, Maria both worked for herself as director of the research company ResPeo and was employed by various universities. 

Although some of the men she worked with ‘paved the way for women to state their needs and the needs of their children’, she noticed that there simply wasn’t an expectation of fathers to defend why they might need to take time out for a school run or stay home with a sick child. 

Maria says she also encountered inflexible employers who hadn’t allowed for home working, would schedule 8am meetings and after hours networking sessions. ‘All things that were really difficult to work around the children,’ she points out. 

It was when Maria applied for an academic promotion at a university – having spent countless hours creating an extensive portfolio and gathering endorsements from colleagues – but learned she had not been successful due to a one-year gap in publications, that the single mother penalty really hit home. 

‘I thought about what was happening to me that year,’ she recalls. ‘I had been working full time, had finished my PhD, was getting a divorce, had toddlers at home, and was going through some health problems. I didn’t take it [the refused promotion] personally, but just thought how the system can heavily disadvantage single parents.’

Maria also remembers that in another job she was given a timetable for teaching in advance that she used to schedule a mix of paid and familial childcare for her kids. 

‘And then it [the timetable] would just change, several times,’ she says. ‘I put my foot down and was accused of being stressed and told I needed to see the GP.  It pointed the finger at me.’

However Maria refused to go off sick for stress, because that wasn’t what she needed from her employers. ‘Instead, I resigned,’ she says. ‘It is a shame that this is what happens to solo parents.’

According to the single parent charity Gingerbread, research has shown that solo parents are more likely to be working in lower paid jobs and are less likely to progress in work. 

‘There is a chronic lack of quality, flexible work that allows for career progression,’ says Jo Hardy of Gingerbread. ‘This means that too many single parents – the majority women – are stuck in roles beneath their skill set just so they can get the flexibility that they need to look after their children.’

To help them, charities like Gingerbread and Single Parent Rights are asking the government to review the 30 hours of free childcare to make it more compatible with the realities of working life, add in single parents to the UK Equality Act, and create a supportive social security system for single parent families. They’d also like to see organisations create employment opportunities that meet single parents’ availability, offering things like work from home, job share, part-time hours, and term time only positions. 

‘Single mothers require a supportive ecosystem to enable them to access the same opportunities as other workers,’ concludes Talbot. ‘This requires employers and government coming together to implement key changes so that single parents are treated fairly and their needs and circumstances are taken into account.’

Now newly partnered and primarily investing in her own company, Maria looks back on her solo parenting with a mixture of feelings. 

It was beautiful and full of love and joy,’ she remembers. 

‘But it was also full of hardship, and so many lessons to be learned about myself, motherhood and my resourcefulness.’

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Married for 10 years and sat with their grown daughters, Mary Kay Letourneau and Vili Fualaau smiled as they recounted their ‘extraordinary’ relationship, in a 2015 widely-watched exclusive with American TV titan Barbara Walters. 

However, the couple’s relationship was extraordinary for all the wrong reasons.

They had become close when Vili was just 12, and Mary Kay, then in her thirties, was his teacher. Within months they had embarked on a sexual relationship.

As news of the Washington state-based sexual abuse scandal shocked the globe, people were left reeling at the thought that a 34-year-old, middle-class, married mother-of-four was capable of committing such a horrific crime.

Yet despite Mary Kay going to jail for second-degree child rape – and giving birth behind bars – the couple steadfastly refused to give up on their relationship.

Now the family – and their story – are back in the news again, after the couple’s youngest daughter, Georgia, has posted on Instagram about expecting a baby boy in January.

Vili, 40, who had a third daughter, Sophia, in 2022, is set to become a grandparent for the first time – but without Mary Kay by his side. 

Rewind to September 1996. A 12-year-old Vili entered his sixth-grade classroom at Shorewood Elementary School in Washington, settling in for a year of learning. He recongised Mary Kay, as she had also taught him in second grade, when he was just eight. 

‘There was a respect, an insight, a spirit, and understanding between us that grew over time,’ she told The Seattle Times in July 1997, as she recalled that first time teaching him. ‘It was the kind of feeling you have with a brother or sister – a feeling that they’re part of your life forever.’

As she once again tutored Vili four years later, Mary Kay clocked that the boy was a gifted artist, and began spending time with him outside of the classroom to develop his skills. Vili even visited her home, becoming friendly with Mary Kay’s husband Steve and four children. He became especially close with her eldest son, Steven Jr., who was only a year younger than him. 

When the school year ended, the teacher and student had gone to dinner when the pair first had sex, even though in a book the pair authored, Mary Kay wrote she had ‘promised’ herself ‘it’ wouldn’t happen before her divorce with then-husband Steve. 

‘The incident was late at night, and it didn’t stop with a kiss,’ Mary Kay told Walters in the 2015 interview. ‘And I thought that it would, and it didn’t.’

That same summer, police discovered Vili and Mary Kay in a minvan. Vili quickly lied to the police, saying he was 18. Although taken to the police station, they both were released after claiming there was no improper conduct. 

Mary Kay later described their connection as a ‘million moments that just kept building something very beautiful and scary at the same time’ in a 2004 interview with Laury King. 

In the autumn of 1996, Mary Kay found out she was pregnant with the schoolboy’s baby. 

Mary Kay broke the news of her pregnancy to her best friend, Michelle Lobdell on the phone. ‘I have some news and this is difficult,’ she told her friend. ‘I’m pregnant and it’s not Steve’s.’

Lobdell said in an interview with the New York Post that it ‘was a shocking moment’ and that Mary Kay made it out that the father was a college-aged student. ‘She didn’t tell me he was 12.’

Steve Letourneau, Mary Kay’s then-husband was rifling through papers in early 1997 when he found love letters between his wife and her student. Confronting the teenager over them, he threatened to tell Vili’s family about their sordid relationship if he didn’t end it.

‘The fear of my mom’s reaction and the thought of everyone being affected by it was one of my biggest fears, so I said, for the better of everyone, OK. It was kind of devastating,’ recalled Vili in a 2018 interview.

However, it was too late, as just a few weeks later on 4 March, Mary Kay was arrested for second-degree child rape after a tip from a relative of Steve’s.

She was released on bail and went on to have her daughter Audrey in May 1997. 

At her trial three months after the birth, Mary Kay pled guilty to child rape in exchange for a three-month jail sentence and probation. 

‘It was wrong, and I am sorry,’ she said in the hearing. ‘I give you my word it will not happen again.’

Her request was approved, with the condition Mary Kay had no further contact with Vili, who always claimed that the relationship was consensual and continuously maintained he wasn’t a victim. ‘I’m not ashamed of being in love with Mary Kay,’ he told Inside Edition in 1999. 

But her vow to leave the teen alone was shortlived, when Mary Kay and Vili were found again in a car soon after her release – this time with over $6,000 in cash, baby clothes, and her passport, leading authorities to believe they were planning to leave the country. 

Mary Kay was brought back to court, by then pregnant for a second time with Vili’s baby from her brief stint out of prison, for her breach of parole and told by the judge she had been given an opportunity that she ‘foolishly squandered.’

She was sentenced to seven and a half years in Washington Correction Centre for Women, during which time she would give birth to her youngest daughter behind bars and get a divorce from her husband. 

Both daughters were in the custody of Vili’s mother, Soona, while Mary Kay finished her sentence. 

Even though Soona blamed Mary Kay for ruining her son’s life, she tearfully said when testifying in the 2002 case that she couldn’t hate the former teacher. 

‘What happened was morally wrong,’ she told the court. ‘She was married, and this was a teenage boy. I’ve lost my son. I lost my sweet little boy who could draw. I knew he would grow up, and he wouldn’t be my little boy, but I didn’t know I’d lose him at 12.’

‘I can’t say I hate Mary,’ she continued. ‘Just a couple of weeks ago, my granddaughter turned around to me and asked, “Do you love my Mary mommy grandma?” And I’m supposed to tell her yeah.’

While Mary Kay was in prison, Vili talked openly in his Walters interview about how he went ‘through a really dark time,’ battling depression for years in the wake of Mary Kay’s imprisonment. 

‘I’m surprised I’m still alive today,’ he said in the exclusive chat. ‘My friends couldn’t help me because they had no idea what it was like to be a parent, I mean, because we were all 14, 15.’

In August 2004, Mary Kay was released from prison and Vili filed a motion in court requesting a reversal of the no-contact order against Mary Kay.

It was granted, and 10 months later, they were married in a lavish ceremony with 250 friends and family at a winery in Washington. Vili was 21 years old.

For 10 years, the couple lived together in Seattle – Vili working as a DJ and Mary Kay as a legal assistant – while raising their two girls.

But in 2017, Vili filed for a legal separation, supposedly due to his desire to start a marijuana business. 

‘It’s not necessarily what you think,’ he told Radar Online. ‘When you want to get licensed, they do background checks on both parties. If I decide to be a part of it, I have to be licensed, and I have to be vetted, and so does a spouse. She has a past. She has a history.’

However, a source close to Mary Kay told People magazine a different story, about how the couple had multiple discussions over where things were going.

‘She really tried everything she could think of, but she just wasn’t able to work it out,’ the source said. ‘She loves him, she knows he loves her, but it really seems like it has run its course.’

Although the couple eventually divorced in 2019, Mary Kay would end up spending her last weeks with her ex-husband after she was diagnosed with colon cancer and ‘reached out’ to him via text in 2020.

‘Vili, to his credit, when he found out about [her illness], and then especially the last couple of months, he moved back from California and he gave her 24/7 care, literally all the way to the end,’ said David Gehrke, who represented Letourneau throughout her trial, in an interview with KIRO radio.

In July 2020, Mary Kay passed away, but in the lead up to her death, she had allegedly penned dozens of letters to atone for her actions.

‘The bottom line was that she understood on a very deep level that she had really made a mess of her life and the lives of many other people back in 1996,’ one friend told People.

‘She realised that even though things turned out relatively good, that she was responsible for a wide swath of destruction by her actions.’

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing Claie.Wilson@metro.co.uk 

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Whatever you call them – rubbers, Johnnies, or even a French letter if you’re being super-fancy – you’ve probably used them.

While over the years we’ve seen a huge shift in attitudes to condoms, from being shunned in the 70s to considered cool (for the majority of us) by the noughties, they’re something that is now used without hesitation. Well, most of the time.

But what’s seen them turn into such a must-have item, that even Kendrick Lamar acknowledged a shift in perception in his Money Trees lyrics, rapping: ‘Back when condom wrappers wasn’t cool’.

It was in 1855 that we were introduce to the first phophylactic, which was made from rubber as thick as a bicycle inner tube and custom made. Fast forward nearly 170 years and Durex – a brand that occupies 40% of the global condom market, worth $4.6bn – are set to deliver their ‘thinnest’ ever condoms called Nude, to ‘maximise sensation’, this year.

However, it’s a metamorphosis has been a long time coming (puns aside) – and one involving a global health crisis, accidental pregnancies, demand for better options… not forgetting the ongoing pleasure debate.

Ben Wilson, sexual wellbeing director at Reckitt, home to Durex, says that although there’s still taboo surrounding condoms, it’s only been in the last three decades that significant progress has been made.

‘We’ve always tried to break the stigma around condoms, such as people feel they can’t have the conversation around safe sex, an embarrassment of buying condoms, and the ever-old challenge around condoms “reducing pleasure”,’ he tells Metro.co.uk.

These days though, he adds, users are ‘thinking about a condom as part of a larger sexual occasion, versus just the moment of penetration’ and says that condoms ‘remove the anxiety’ of unplanned pregnancy and contracting an STI or STD.

From Ben’s perspective, marketing has played a huge role in getting people on board with using them.

‘In the 1970s, we were sponsoring Formula 1 and lots of motorsports, because there was a young male demographic watching these things at the time. In the 1990s we were doing work with MTV, which also attracted young people,’ he explains.

‘Durex has a huge history, but during World War 2, the supply of condoms from the US and Germany dried up, so Durex as a British company became the key player in the market. However, it was only in the 1990s condom usage became “normal” and widespread.

‘Culture and wider society issues have had an impact too. The AIDS crisis of the 1980s was a huge driver for the benefits of condoms.’

While censorship stopped conversations from breaking down stigma, some ad companies worked hard to get their product message across.

For example, back in 2010, advertising condoms was forbidden in France. However, one French non-profit, supporting those with HIV and AIDS called Aides, decided to create an advert showing graffiti drawings of genitalia enjoying sex with a condom.

Despite it going against guidelines, the short video was given the green light, paving the way for future condom advertising.

Usage is a whole other beast though, and the reasons people personally choose to go with and without condoms wildly vary.

A study among homosexual men found common reasons for not using one included being in a steady relationship (32.8%), being unprepared (19.4%), and not being bothered (19.4%).

Meanwhile, other research has looked into being pressured by men, especially as a woman, to forgo condom use.

Tricia Wise, is a safe sex influencer who goes by the name Safe Slut. She tells Metro.co.uk that although she always prefers to use condoms, there were times in the past when she felt pressured to go without – that was until she contracted genital herpes (HSV2) in November 2019.

‘I liked to practice safe sex when I could, but I was also very afraid of advocating for myself,’ Tricia, 29, explains. ‘So if I was with people who were making a big deal about wearing a condom I’d say it was fine to go without, but then feel anxious and get tested afterwards.

‘Condoms have always been my preferred method of contraception.

‘Now that I have herpes, I’m an even bigger fan of safer sex, but with herpes, condoms aren’t 100% effective. It can help reduce the risk, but herpes is transferred skin to skin, not fluid, so as the condom isn’t covering your entire genital area, it can spread.’

For Tricia, communication is key when practicing safe sex.

‘I ask my partner when they’ve been tested and what those results look like, then I share my status, then we decide what we want to do,’ she explains.

‘My main thing when I’m going to have the disclosure conversation is I don’t do it in the moment, I do it before when clothes are still on.

‘I always start by asking them about their sexual health, because as well as using condoms to lessen the risk of spreading herpes, I’m doing it to protect myself from them too.

‘The response is always telling – if they say they don’t get tested or use stigmatising language, that’s a turn off for me.’

For casual one night stands, condoms are ‘not even a question’ for Tricia, who adds that she’s never had any bad responses when revealing she has HSV – either they ask for more information, or already are clued up.

The evolution of condoms

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The evolution of condoms

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James* was another who had his contraception choice shaped by personal experience.

Never a ‘one-night stand kind of guy’, he says condoms just weren’t a subject he’d discuss with friends – and are still something he feels self-conscious talking about, which is why he didn’t want to share his identity.

Although James admits he wasn’t initially a fan of the contraception, the 27-year-old now swears by them.

‘When I got comfortable with a new partner, I used to do the pullout method,’ he explains, adding that he felt like he could trust them to be truthful about STIs or or get tested.

‘The emotion in the moment would take over, and even though I knew the method is risky, I didn’t really care – until I experienced a pregnancy scare.

‘My partner was told she was pregnant at a hospital when she went to A&E in pain. But then 10 minutes later, they told her it was a mistake and she wasn’t.

‘It was a huge shock to the system,’ admits James. ‘So now I use condoms, because I have a primal fear that if I become a dad, I will be absolutely f****d.’

Being diagnosed with gonorrhea was a massive wake up call for Emma*, who doesn’t want to be identified for fear of stigma still surrounding the STI.

She says she chose not to use condoms as she preferred the sensation without them and found the act of putting one on mid-foreplay a ‘mood kill’.

‘There was never an active decision not to use condoms, it was more that I would get caught up in the heat of the moment and go without, because I was on another form of contraception (either the pill or implant),’ Emma explains.

‘I put STIs to the back of mind – even though I knew that was stupid. Then someone I’d slept with informed me he had gonorrhea. It was hugely embarrassing, from telling past partners so they could be checked to having to take time out of work to visit the clinic for treatment.

‘It was also a massive wake-up call, however, and made me realise that the real mood-killer is contracting the clap.’

Now in a long term relationship, Emma uses condoms every time they’re intimate due to side effects with hormonal contraception.

‘While rootling around in a drawer for a condom mid-way through foreplay isn’t the sexiest thing in the world, it’s far better than an unplanned pregnancy,’ she adds.

‘If I was single, I’d insist on using a condom and it’d be a deal breaker for me to be met with resistance. After all, I learned of the consequences of avoiding condoms the hard way.’

Not all sexual health concerns can be avoided with condoms, however.

Aside from the health perspective, even with perfect use, two in every 100 people will have unintended pregnancy each year, while ‘typical use’, according to the NHS, sees 12 in every 100.

That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be using them, as no form of contraception is perfect, but it does point to the difference they can make if used properly.

Currently in the UK, gonorrhoea cases jumped by over 50% between 2021 and 2022, it’s the highest number of diagnoses made in a year since records began in 1918.

For all of the progress made to make condom use common practice, there’s still work to be done evidently.

Though it’s worth noting that other forms of protection have been widely advocated for, too. Among gay men, the use of PrEP – HIV prevention medication – is also popular and might inadvertently reduce condom reliance.

Lisa Hallgarten, head of policy and public affairs at Brook, a sexual health charity, tells Metro.co.uk: ‘The high level of gonorrhoea clearly tells us that there is insufficient condom use.

‘This is also reflected in what we are seeing in our own clinics, where over the past four years the number of people saying they do not use condoms has increased by over 10%.

‘It is vital that the effective promotion of testing and treatment for STIs is matched by stronger messages about prevention and the need for consistent condom use.  

‘Sexual health services are already stretched to breaking point with a huge rise in demand for services alongside many years of cuts to funding. Additional investment needs to be provided for national and local schemes to promote and provide condoms.’

There can be a generational divide too, in terms of attitudes to condoms.

Mark*, who is in his late 30s, has gone through phases of irregular condom use in the past due to feeling less anxious about catching STIs, and enjoying periods of hedonistic sex.

He previously worked as a fitness model and went to sex parties in his 30s, during a time he describes as being ‘high on testosterone’.

Although the sex party scene always advocates for the use of condoms, Mark didn’t always use them. One ocassion he remembers was during a threesome with men and women, where he says he got caught up in the moment and, in his words, wanted to ‘spread his seed’.

Now, he tells Metro.co.uk he wouldn’t run the risk as you ‘just can’t know’ if someone is healthy or taking birth control properly.

‘We’re descended from apes, and condoms aren’t natural – it’s a fact of life – but I’m absolutely pro-condoms,’ he says.

‘I came out of my old phase due to loss and grief within my family. It made me change my lifestyle.’

And as popularity and demand for condoms continues to grow, some makers have been thinking outside the box in a bid to make their’s the go-to brand.

Roam offers skin tone condoms in a range of shades, to ‘celebrate individuality’ as they put it online; then there are ultra-thin condoms from brands like Skyn to combat the pleasure issue; while others such as Hanx, who are meeting the needs of vegans and the chemically conscious. Environmentally friendly options are also offered by XO! whose products carbon neutral and biodegrade in a year.

However, we still haven’t reached condom perfection says Ben, who thinks there’s more innovation to come – and the more skin-like they feel, the better in terms of uptake.

‘I think condoms that deliver the most pleasure are going to be the winners, because ultimately the constant battle for us is how to deliver more pleasure,’ he explains.

‘That could be in how thin or transparent it is, how it smells, or what materials and lubrication is used. All those sensorial elements.’

‘Protection and pleasure together,’ he adds. Which is ultimately all anyone could want from a condom.

Sexual Health Awareness Week runs from 11-17 September, for more information click here.

*Names have been changed.

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Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.

But it wasn’t.  

By the time Dilly was a teenager and attending secondary school, she was desperately begging her mother not to send her in and often arriving at the school gates late and in a visibly distressed state. 

‘It’s awful feeling like you literally have to try and drag your child somewhere, where they don’t want to be,’ remembers Lara.

However, Dilly’s fears weren’t borne from being a target for school bullies or because she hadn’t completed homework. She simply didn’t want to be at school – and she’s one of a growing number of children who find it hard or even impossible to attend a formal education setting. 

Since the coronavirus lockdowns, persistent absenteeism is up 117%, equating to nearly a quarter of of all pupils in primary, secondary and special state schools – or 1,615,772 pupils. 

But this is hardly a new phenomenon, as Ellie Costello, executive director of the social enterprise Squarepeg, explains. 

The organisation advocates for children who struggle to attend school, working in partnership with the parent/carer led organisation Not Fine in School, which was set up in November 2018 to raise awareness of the barriers to school attendance and empower families impacted by them. 

In just five years membership for Not Fine in School has grown to 43,000 people, whose children have found mainstream school attendance a struggle whether it’s down to unmet special education needs and disabilities, physical or mental illness, bullying and assault, or trauma.

Some have also cited excessive academic pressure, overly strict behaviour policies, an irrelevant curriculum and children missing sense of belonging. 

‘No one wanted to talk about it, but then Covid legitimised the attendance conversation,’ Ellie explains. 

‘There is a lot of disaffection bubbling away. An ever-increasing number of children and young people are developing high levels of anxiety – be it performance-related, socially, or because they can’t cope with the environment. Under this government, attainment and progress from the age of four onwards is monitored in a way that is excessive. It prioritises a certain type of learning. Quite simply, more and more kids just aren’t ticking that box.’

Recalling how one schoolgirl told her that walking through the school gates felt like wading through vicious, sharp ice, Ellie adds: ‘These aren’t snowflake kids, that’s a misconception. Young people now have so much more to cope with – from the threat of climate collapse to Instagram perfection – and they have to be so much more resilient. 

‘We’ve never recovered from the cuts to education, which were announced in 2010 and implemented under austerity. We were sold the idea that if we just get tough on discipline, and establish high aspirations, everything else will follow. But you can’t have it both ways. You either want a child in the classroom and engaged in learning, or you will put them in isolation all day for wearing the wrong shoe laces.’

Dilly is now 14 and admits she has always struggled with attending school. 

‘I’ve never liked it,’ she tells Metro.co.uk. ‘It’s about the system. When I have to go into school, I feel overwhelmed and stressed. I tend to catastrophise a lot.’

As someone who is autistic and dyslexic, Dilly is an ambassador for The Multi Schools Council which challenges perceptions of difference, and the negative stigma shown towards children with special educational needs and disability (SEND) and mental health difficulties. 

‘Dilly struggled all the way through primary school, and now finds secondary school challenging as well,’ explains her mum, Lara. ‘She can get tearful and stressed the evening before school, and then in the morning as well. Often she’ll be late and will need a lot of reassurance from staff, who have often met her at the door. Even if she has a good day, she will be so exhausted by attending school that she is unable to do homework or enjoy social activities afterwards.  

‘Recently, during exam week, she became so overwhelmed with the pressure that she couldn’t go in. But once she felt calmer at home, she was able to sit her maths test under timed conditions, unprompted by anyone. I was really surprised as maths is her least favourite subject and greatest challenge. It shows how genuine her struggle is.’

Lara adds that school staff are often very well meaning with children who might experience anxiety about coming to school, ‘but they don’t often fully understand what kind of consistent approach would be helpful,’ she says. 

‘The problem is a lack of resources and training. Teaching staff do want to do the right thing, but there are lots of demands on them, and everyone within the whole school environment seems to be under a lot of pressure. It’s often children who are autistic, or neurodivergent, who can’t cope. Autistic children are so much more sensitive to noises, feelings, and the atmosphere. Everything is amplified for them.’

Child clinical psychologist Dr Selina Warlow runs The Nook Therapy clinic, in Farnham, Surrey, and regularly works with clients experiencing school avoidance, specifically those with Autism and ADHD. 

‘Schools are certainly not to blame for school avoidance because sometimes it is not always clear what each child needs,’ she explains. ‘I have had many children with ASD explain how even changing the seating around in the classroom can be very stressful for them. School can then go from feeling predictable to feeling full of uncertainty, which can lead to anxiety. In addition, children with ASD can have difficulties with social interactions and having to walk into a class of 30 children everyday can feel very daunting.

‘For children with ADHD some of the challenges can be that they are expected to remain seated or maintain concentration throughout their lessons, but they may need to move or fidget. At times their hyperactivity, impulsivity and/or inattention can be misinterpreted as them being defiant or naughty, and this can begin to impact on a child’s self-esteem.’

Dr Warlow believes that despite schools being more adaptive, individualised support is still needed, ideally in collaboration with healthcare professionals. 

‘Many of these children thrive at school,’ she adds. ‘They may think outside the box, be brilliant artists, sports men/women, or have a unique ability to hyperfocus on certain topics. The list of strengths is endless. These are the young people that I believe will change the world, with the right support and by nurturing their strengths.’

Dr Warlow adds that since covid it has been difficult to get some children back in the classroom, while at the start of the pandemic, Dr Gavin Morgan – an educational psychologist at University College London – warned the government that school closures would lead to mental health ramifications amongst children and young people. 

‘It gave permission for some children not to attend school, because suddenly school seemed to be an option, and there was some kind of choice involved,’ he explains. ‘Especially for children who were already at risk of school avoidance, they just thought, I don’t have to go anymore.

‘For most kids, most of the time, school is the best place for them. But for some children, school is difficult, and it is anxiety-inducing. One size never fits all.’

Dr Morgan believes there are increasing reasons why school avoidance seems to be affecting more children. 

‘We can’t separate children from families and wider society. They get impacted by parental pressures, and families are finding life hard at the moment due to the cost of living crisis. It’s just tough for everyone. There’s lots of increased pressures on kids,’ he says.  

Of course, school closures were just one of many changes which children lived through during Covid-19. 

After surveying more than 6000 parents in England, new research from the Institute for Fiscal Studies (IFS) and the UCL Institute of Education has found that almost half believe their child’s emotional development suffered as a result of the pandemic. 

Children whose parents experienced job instability, compared to their pre-Covid employment situation, were more likely to be affected. However, Dr Morgan adds that the situation is increasingly tough for teaching staff too. 

‘We expect a lot from teachers, more so than we have ever done before,’ he says. ‘Teachers aren’t just single subject teachers any more, they have a hugely complicated role nowadays.

‘Everything should start with the school providing support – and not punishment. There needs to be a whole school approach to talking about and dealing with these issues, and then targeted support for individual children and their families.’

This is something which Dilly has benefitted from, after moving to a school which was open to understanding her difficulties. 

‘We can phone them in the morning, and say she’s having a hard day and struggling to come in, and they’re able to suggest ways to help, and we know we won’t get fined. It takes that pressure off,’ admits mum, Lara. 

‘When she’s not able to come in, they’ve sent a test home for her, or they just accept the fact she will be a bit late that day… even so, on many days she still feels completely burnt out and can’t face going in. 

‘Like all other parents, we want our child to achieve – we know she is capable and we want her to do her best. But there shouldn’t be a blanket response – the majority of families just need help and support, which is not there.’

Parentkind is a national charity which gives those with a parenting role a voice in education.

It believes mental health workers should be embedded within schools, and has allied itself to Citizen UK’s national campaign to ask policymakers to make this a reality. 

‘Parental concerns over their child’s mental wellbeing remain high,’ Parentkind’s Chief Executive Jason Elsom tells Metro.co.uk. 

‘Partial school closures and the cancellation of exams during the pandemic eased the pressure for some pupils, but the return to normality after major disruption to their lives has proved a set-back for many, and this is likely to be a driving factor behind high school absence rates.

‘Our Parent Voice Report revealed that parents of children eligible for free school meals or with special educational needs and disabilities were much likelier to report concerns over their child’s wellbeing, indicating that the issue is more pressing and serious for too many of the most vulnerable and disadvantaged young people.’

For some families, home education is a better option. 

Munira Adenwalla, 48, believes children’s school avoidance is typically rooted in issues around a child’s mental health and emotional wellbeing – and has taken the decision to home educate her 11-year-old son Mohammed.

The mum of one noticed how he explored and learned best through movement, physical activity and hands-on experiences – and Mohammed now benefits from gymnastics, swimming, water sports, creative crafting, using technology, computer programming and meeting others in his community. 

‘As parents, we wanted him to learn based on his own interests, pace, and through his own learning style,’ Munira explains. ‘This was not a difficult decision at all. I believe parents have a strong intuition or gut instinct of what is best for their child. 

‘It’s a big myth that home educated kids miss out on socialisation. There are many groups and communities of home education families so our children get to mix. I love that my son can figure out how to play gently with toddlers, be looked up to by younger children as the fun older kid, play with same aged kids, learn from older children, and chat with their parents too.

‘The reality is home educated kids have a big variety of social opportunities and the choice for quiet or home days if they want or need it.’

Munira adds that she would love for teachers to get more training and support from professionals to understand and accommodate children whose brains are wired differently, and for schools to have all the resources they need to support all children in their own unique ways of learning.

‘By forcing kids to go back to school we are then giving them a message not to listen to their own bodies or minds when they feel uncomfortable, unsafe, or distressed,’ she warns. ‘That they just have to deal with all of this. This isn’t right. 

‘Imagine if this was a job, would you call it ‘work refusal?’ You’d probably talk to your boss, try to work things out, and then quit if it didn’t go smoothly. 

‘That’s just what school refusal is.’

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But it wasn’t just about dusting herself off and moving on. She wanted more. A new job, a new home… a new country. 

However, as a 35-year-old with a four-bed house and a mortgage, not to mention an already pretty fulfilling career and good social life, she couldn’t help feeling like she was chasing an impossible dream. 

That was until Kirsten happened to have a chat with a senior colleague at the sports retail company she’d worked for as the associate marketing manager the last five years. 

It turned out that there was an opportunity to head up the business’s marketing team 4,000 miles away in Dubai. The rest, she says, is history. 

‘I didn’t hesitate to say yes,’ Kirsten tells Metro.co.uk. ‘While I loved my job and the people I worked with, I knew this new chance had the potential to project me further in my career than I could ever have expected.’

With UK Google searches for ‘move abroad’ up by 1000% in 2022 – the highest level in internet history – 90,000 British citizens made the move overseas for work last year. 

While most were in the 25-44 age group according to research from Radical Storage, women were the gender more likely to make the leap – with 45% saying they would like to work abroad compared to 39% of men. 

Giving insight into the growing trend of women moving abroad for work, careers expert Victoria McLean tells Metro.co.uk: ‘Twenty or so years ago, women didn’t have the access to education or professional development that they have now. As this has changed, it’s enabled more women to seek careers and career progression in another country.’

While moving overseas provided Kirsten with the chance she needed to start over, it wasn’t a seamless process, she admits. Leaving family and friends behind was difficult, for a start.

‘My parents know I am very headstrong and determined but I think they might have hoped there was only a small chance it would end up happening,’ she remembers. ‘It all became very real when they dropped me off at the airport – there were tears.

‘Some of my friends were sad to see me go and others understood why I wanted to. However, they were all excited about having a new holiday destination and a reason to leave their kids at home for a girls’ trip.’

Kirsten also admits that she didn’t really give herself much time to process her feelings. ‘I guess I took the steps to move without really thinking about it until I got to Dubai,’ she says. 

‘An old school friend of mine was out there with his wife and stepdaughter, so this provided me with a safety blanket because I had someone who I could ask questions about the process.’

Kirsten, who remained in a head of marketing role, admits that it did take time to adjust in Dubai because she was used to working in fast-paced environments and the processes there were slower than she expected. However, reflecting on her journey so far, she says; ‘Planning my life hadn’t really worked out as I thought it would, so I owed it to myself to see how this opportunity went.’

Research has also found that taking a career overseas tends to benefit women more than men, with HSBC’s Expat Explorer Survey revealing that the average female expat’s income increases by around 27%, compared to 23% for men. Kirsten agrees, saying she is much better off financially since moving to Dubai.  Her salary has increased by roughly 2.5 times before tax (and therefore more, as Dubai has no income tax).

‘You do have to bear in mind that the cost of living is much higher here and there are other costs to factor in regardless of having no income tax,’ she adds.

However, Kirsten also points out that she doesn’t think she would be able to find a similar job in the UK on the salary she is currently on. ‘The cost of living has increased dramatically, which is one of the reasons why I’m not ready to move back to the UK just yet.’

While there’s no doubt the move has given her career success, Kirsten says it has impacted her social life. She finds it difficult to keep in touch with friends in the UK, and when she makes plans to visit her home county of Devon, she also has to factor in stops for London, Newcastle and Manchester, where she also has connections. ‘It isn’t easy because that’s when it starts to feel like less of a holiday,’ she explains. ‘To add to that, I feel so guilty when I don’t manage it all.’

And although Kirsten has been able to make friends outside of work in Dubai, she says that romantic relationships have been ‘the most challenging aspect’ and ‘something she is yet to conquer with any kind of success’. 

‘I guess we can’t have it all,’ she shrugs.

Georgia Austin, 26, tells Metro.co.uk that she was working 40 hours a week as a copywriter at Sweaty Betty before deciding to go freelance. Although she loved her job, she wanted more control of her career.

After launching a freelance copywriting business and taking on a freelance LinkedIn networking role with a US-based market research firm as a ‘connector’ – offering professionals in an assigned industry and market on the site money to complete a 10 minute survey – she decided to take the plunge and go freelance full-time. But in Brazil, over 5,000 miles from where she grew up in Buckinghamshire and Berkshire.

‘With the money I was earning as a freelancer, I knew that one reliable client was all I needed to pay my living expenses. I immediately booked my flight to Brazil – a decision that, little to my knowledge, precluded the global pandemic,’ she says. 

Before deciding to move abroad, Georgia viewed her career as an exploration. She had a passion for writing and making money online. ‘I grew up as a bookworm and wrote short stories as a kid,’ she explains ‘I’ve always loved words and after landing my role at Sweaty Betty and writing for other sportswear brands, I knew I could monetise my passion,’ she says. 

Once Georgia realised that companies needed freelancers like her, it became even easier for her to make money online during the pandemic. She created an account on Fiverr, an online platform where freelancers can market themselves, and she soon was inundated with work. ‘It was spontaneous and life-altering – I never expected that things would change forever,’ she says.

But why Brazil? Having visited the country a few times, Georgia says she felt like it was the right fit for her. On one of her visits, she taught English in Rocinha (South America’s largest favela) during the Paralympics. During this time, she had already begun to build a strong network of friends and connections – including her future husband’s family. 

‘I met my husband in the first week of arriving in Brazil, at the carnival. There was a two-hour queue to get in and we almost left the line due to boredom. Then we met inside and started talking,’ recalls Georgia.

And while others might have felt nervous about packing up and moving to a different continent, Georgia insists it was a breeze. ‘It felt like a puzzle piece fitting right into its spot,’ she insists.’ If I could live and work anywhere in the world, why would I stay in the UK where taxes are high and my money wouldn’t go very far?’

Since the move, Georgia has worked hard, scaling the freelance business she set up a few years ago to generate $2.1million in total revenue in just over two years. ‘I had the business model down and a great service offering, so I took things to new heights by onboarding industry experts to help fulfil demand, which ultimately tripled my earnings each month,’ she says.

Now, following the success of her agency, Georgia has founded a spin off company and bought a home in Florida. ‘My long-term plan is to scale and sell my company then settle down in the US while spending a few months each year travelling around the world. Although I don’t foresee a permanent return to the UK, I will always cherish the relationships and experiences I’ve had there,’ she says.

Victoria McLean, CEO and Founder of Career Consultancy City CV, adds that she believes the pandemic has had a part to play in the rising number of female expats. 

‘COVID-19 gave us better professional mobility. When you have the option of working from anywhere in the world, it’s easier to move abroad or work for companies that are based anywhere in the world,’ she explains.

‘Women have long asked for better flexibility and I think it took a global pandemic to deliver this. Over the past few years, there has been an increase of opportunities in female-led industries, like healthcare for example.’

When Sarah-Jane McQueen had the idea of moving from Croydon to Australia for work floated to her by a colleague, the first thing she did was discuss the move with her long-term boyfriend, who had always lived in London. ‘We then went through the process of applying for our visa. Due to the backlog from Covid, it took about six months for our entry to be granted,’ she tells Metro.co.uk.

As the visa took a long time to arrive, Sarah-Jane admits there was a lot of time to question the move, with many nights spent weighing up the cons of thinking what could go wrong. ‘We didn’t want the opportunity passing us by. We got through it together with a pact that if we were miserable after six months, we would come back home to London.’ 

However, while she hired a relocation consultant to help with the logistics, Sarah-Jane, who is now a COO of education marketing company CoursesOnline, knew that making the move wasn’t just about her and her partner. She had to think of her eight-year-old daughter too.

Having only ever lived in their family home, she says her little girl struggled with such a big move. 

‘Once we started sharing where we were going and involving her in finding our new house, she started to get excited,’ remembers Sarah-Jane, 42. However, once moved, reality hit and it was hard for the family to see her go from being the popular girl in school in the UK to being an outsider. 

Sarah-Jane admits that seeing her child being excluded from birthday parties and play dates was heartbreaking. 

‘We did have a few incidents on the playground at school because she got angry or lashed out, which is why we enrolled her in other activities outside school like swimming and yoga,’ she explains. ‘I had mum guilt, but over time she’s found her place. Almost a year in and she’s the happiest I have ever seen her.’

With a relocation package that also enabled Sarah-Jane and her family to turn their London home into an investment rental property, it’s safe to say they’re financially better off. Another bonus is that the income taxes and other taxes are better off in Australia (UK contribution is 4% whereas Australia is 11%).

Even so, Sarah-Jane admits to FOMO when she sees pictures of her friends during nights out or events. ‘Not seeing my family all the time is difficult, but I do my best to make it work,’ she says. 

It’s also been hard as her grandmother had a stroke 18 months ago, and she admits not being as close to her as she’d like, is her only regret about the move. Other than that, Sarah-Jane describes her journey as a ‘wild adventure’, adding ‘We’re closer than ever as a family unit and my career has gone from strength to strength.’

According to Victoria McLean, while this trend for Brits to move abroad for work looks set to continue, there are some serious negatives that go beyond FOMO and feeling homesick. 

‘While a move abroad might be a real career boost for women, there might also be a knock on effect of reduced gender diversity in the UK with the hardest impact felt at senior level,’ she explains. 

‘There are a number of ways this trend could impact the UK labour force but the most important is probably “brain drain” or the loss of education and skills.’

To counteract any potential critical drain on talent in the UK, Ray’n Terry, HR Director at Totaljobs advises that British employers ‘evaluate their offering for international workers and how they can compete on a global scale. 

‘Whether that’s giving workers greater flexibility to work anywhere they want in the world or developing relocation packages that highlight the quality of living aspects of your location,’ she explains.

As for Sarah-Jane’s plans, she and her family expect to stay in Australia until their visa is up in 2026. They also have a pathway to permanent residency – a process they can start next year. 

‘Moving back to the UK will be likely when our parents need us to help look after them,’ she explains. 

‘At the moment, we’re just taking each month as it comes. Because at the moment, everything is great where we are.’ 

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Tracey McLaughlin is talking about the time she took a summer job, along with hundreds of other New Jersey teens, at one of the biggest theme parks in America during the eighties.

‘I was a lifeguard at the wave pool and also worked the Alpine slide,’ she explains. 

Like many who worked and went to the state’s hottest attraction, Action Park, Tracey has fond recollections of the resort and still shares them today across the many social media platforms dedicated to the now defunct theme park.

But these aren’t Disneyland style ‘most magical place on earth’ memories people are recounting. These are packaged more in a ‘if you don’t have a scar, were you even there?’ kind of vibe. 

‘Everyone knew Action Park had safety issues,’ explains documentary maker Seth Porges, who also used to visit the resort as a child. ‘But that only made it more popular. Nobody is going to come back to school after a summer trip to Disney World and brag that they made it to the end of Pirates of the Caribbean. But so many Action Park rides were vehicles for bragging rights. 

‘It was also an unbelievably fun place, probably the most fun amusement park that ever existed,’ he says. ‘People – especially teenagers from New Jersey – tend to think they are invincible; and that the risk was worth the reward.’

Describing the park’s most notorious ride, the Alpine Slide, Tracey remembers, ‘it was very dangerous. It was made of concrete and you sat on a plastic slide which had a hand brake as it could go really fast. 

‘There were no side rails so when people went down, they would go super-quick and sometimes go over the side or bump into the guys in front of them causing them to get thrown.

‘They usually came off the ride with cuts on them and I know of one head injury.’

While it’s expected that a certain level of jeopardy has to exist for a theme park to succeed, experience has shown there is a very fine line between terror and tragedy. 

Here in the UK, 11-year-old Evha Jannath died after she fell from the Splash Canyon ride rapids ride at Drayton Manor theme park. In 2015, Alton Towers suffered its biggest accident to date when a carriage carrying 16 people on the Smiler rollercoaster smashed into an empty stationary car causing four passengers to suffer serious leg injuries. Resort owners were fined £5million and faced civil court cases from the victims.

However, it would seem that Action Park was in a league of its own when it came to accidents and fatalities. 

Created in 1978 by businessman Eugene Mulvihill, it was situated around 50 miles outside of New York City, nestled in the rural town of Vernon, New Jersey. During the park’s 18-year history it was littered with injuries and lawsuits and was responsible for six shocking deaths – two in the space of one week. 

Yet, the resort has been the subject of many nostalgic Facebook groups, websites, podcasts and documentaries. Gene’s own son Andy, now 56, released a warts-and-all book about his own experiences, while there were rumours that streaming service Hulu was developing a comedy series about the park. 

Seth Porges was behind the HBO hit documentary Class Action Park and says, ‘So much of what happened at Action Park was bizarre and strange and felt like mere rumour that it became effectively an urban legend – despite it largely being all true.

‘As I got older, my memories of what I saw there – insane rides, bodies flying in off of said rides, and a general atmosphere of debaucherous chaos – didn’t square with my concept of how society was supposed to work. Like, there’s no way that actually happened.

‘But when I began to look deeper, I saw that most of what was out there were these rumours and legends and I wanted to see if they were true.’

In Seth’s film, interviewees reel off a list of jaw-dropping injuries and incidents, from being impaled on a bolt to near-decapitation and electrocution – each one reinforcing the idea that the true story behind this park really is a classic case of fact being stranger than fiction.

‘Virtually everybody who went left with incredible stories,’ he explains. ‘Many people got hurt, many more had an unbelievable time. The most shocking and amazing thing about Action Park was that everybody knew it was dangerous – that these rides could hurt you and were manned by distracted and worryingly young children – yet that became part of the appeal.’

But within the badge of honour banter that echoes through those who ‘survived’ Action Park, there are also the horrifying stories of those who didn’t make it home after a trip there. 

This tragic death toll includes an electrocution on a kayak ride, a heart attack after dropping into freezing cold water from a rope swing, the death of an employee on the notorious Alpine slide and three drownings in the tidal wave pool.

Gene’s son Andy was working as a lifeguard on duty the day one of the drownings occurred.

‘I pulled a guy off the bottom of the pool floor that was dead. I personally did. That was horrible, man,’ he once said, calling all the deaths at Action Park ‘devastating’.

Introduced in 1981, it was a huge freshwater pool that held up to 1,000 people, producing waves that lasted for 20 minutes at a time and would reach more than 3ft high.

With 12 red cross certified lifeguards stationed at the pool at all times, former employees have since said they were saving up to 30 people a day.

Andy himself admits that the lifeguards pulled ‘thousands and thousands of people who had no business in the water.’

Tracy also remembers it well. ‘It was really dangerous as it created these big waves and a lot of people who could not swim needed to be saved.’ 

Their first death was caused by the Alpine slide – a notorious ride that was crowned the park’s most popular by the New Jersey Herald in 1986.

It’s perilous appeal was famously recreated by Jackass’ Johnny Knoxville for his 2018 film Action Point. He’s since said that he was injured more times making the movie than throughout his whole career and suffered ‘four concussions, broke my hand, busted my meniscus, whiplash, stitches over my right eye, which required stitches, lost a couple teeth’.

The real life slide’s victim was 19-year-old park employee, George Larsson Jr, who in 1980 was flung 25 feet from the ride after it derailed. Hitting his head on a rock, he died from his injuries days later. 

From 1984-86 Evan Schuman was a reporter for the New Jersey Herald tasked with writing investigative pieces about Action Park. 

‘What was really interesting was that not many of the local kids went there for fun,’ he explains. ‘The park was populated overwhelmingly by New York state teenagers. The local kids worked there – but there was no way they were going to risk their lives on the rides, and most knew enough not to go on them.’

Through his research, Evan discovered that in 1984/85 alone there were at least 14 fractures and 26 head injuries reported to have been caused by slides across the park, while the park had been a target of more than 100 lawsuits since 1983, the majority in connection with the Alpine Slide.

Around the same time, Gene Mulvihill was charged with criminal conspiracy, fraud, theft, embezzlement, forgery and tax evasion in connection with an alleged conspiracy to create a fictitious insurance company. He pleaded guilty to having intentionally created a paper insurance company to save money and was fined $300,000 dollars – however it was rumoured that the real reason he had tried to set up his own insurance firm was because he was having trouble finding anyone to insure the park.  

It was in 1985 that the park saw the opening – and closing – of its controversial Cannonball Loop, a 100ft high water slide that Andy has since described as ‘a ride to survive, not a ride for fun’. 

When a dummy had been sent down to test it came out the other end decapitated. Even so, Andy was sent down next to try it out.

‘I was wearing my hockey equipment when I did it,’ he has often explained. ‘If you didn’t have enough speed you’d fall and smash your face, and if you smashed hard enough, you could break your nose or knock out some teeth.’

Park officials shut down the ride after just one month due to safety concerns. 

Yet, despite a long list of reported injuries and fatalities since opening, the park was never closed for investigation and only ever received one official fine. 

‘I also discovered they were using underage workers, but managed to avoid getting in trouble for that too,’ adds Evan. ‘I was speaking to the staff in the car park on their way out and once I’d finished each interview, I’d ask the usual questions such as what their job was, their name, age… It didn’t click for a while, but after a few times I realised that I’d been talking to kids who were being allowed to operate rides at just 14, when the minimum age was 16.  

‘I reported it to the New Jersey Labor department, who did a ‘sneak inspection’ but they didn’t find anyone underage staffing the rides. I knew they wouldn’t as one of the young girls I’d spoken to told me that she’d received a call that same day to say that anyone underage who usually operated rides had been told either not to come in, or if they did they could just spend the day on the rides. The park had been tipped off by someone, but I never knew who.’

In 1987, Evan also ran a piece after speaking to a medical director of the ER at a nearby hospital. He told the young reporter that five to 10 people were brought there daily from the park, citing injuries such as ‘ankle sprains, cuts and contusions, and… a few broken bones.’ He also mentioned that many of the injured came into the emergency room with alcohol on their breath.

‘If you’re wondering how someone can be so stupid to go to a park that has rides like this, combine a 16-year-old boy with alcohol and you’d be surprised how stupid they can get,’ adds Evan. 

In response to their critics, park officials were always quick to point out that the resort had over a million visitors each year– sometimes 12,000 on a busy weekend – which in theory made the actual injury rate statistically small. 

However, as Matthew Seiddon, a former member of the advisory board of Carnival Amusement Ride Safety pointed out in a 1986 interview with the New Jersey Herald, ‘all I can say is that I wouldn’t want to be the one to have to tell the parents of a dead child that his was the only accident among 1 million riders. I wouldn’t want to be in that position.’

‘I would often be asked to try out the rides,’ remembers Evan. ‘They’d say how can you write about it without actually trying it. But how many autopsies do you need to attend before you realise this is not a good idea?’

In 1996 the park finally closed down. Not because of health and safety issues, but due to bankruptcy following years of lawsuits. 

Three years later it was bought by another resort company who renamed it Mountain Creek Waterpark. 15 years after that the Mulvihill family bought it back and relaunched it in 2015 – two years after Gene’s death – with much more stringent safety rules. And it’s still going today, albeit not with the same memory making rides.

‘In a world full of people telling you “No”, Action Park was the land of yes,’ remembers Seth. ‘A place where you could do anything you wanted. A place where a skinny kid from New Jersey could prove that he was tough. A place where you could have experiences and memories that you would carry with you for the rest of your life.’

He adds that it’s Action Park’s innate duality – the fact that such a fun thing could also be so filled with tragedy – is also what makes it so fascinating. ‘It’s a place that so many people hold near and dear to their hearts that many credit with shaping them into the person they grew up to be.

‘But at the same time, it’s a place that hurt people,’ explains Seth. ‘However, it can be both. One of the realisations we came into while making the movie is that it’s okay to laugh and joke about Action Park and accept it as a place of tragedy. As one of our interviewees puts it, we often laugh at the horrors of our past because, well, what other choice do we have?’

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But there one was one scene that really struck a nerve – and created memes-a-plenty – as America Fererra’s character Gloria spooled off the many impossible double standards faced by women.

One in particular felt jarring – especially in the face of today’s body positivity movement: ‘You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin.’

Such a statement showed that no matter how hard we’ve worked – and are still working – to help women embrace and love the skin they’re in, the message is falling miserably short.

So, why are will stil hung up about being skinny?

Sophie Hughes is now in her thirties, but says she spent most of her teenage years and twenties desperate to be thin and battling eating disorders.

Her ordeal began when she was just 13 and got her first boyfriend.

Feeling the heady rush of love and excitement typically associated with someone’s first crush, Sophie was keen to spend as much time with him as possible – and that included lunch breaks.

Previously, the teenager would sit with all her friends in their form room, happily eating and chatting. But for some reason, Sophie felt an innate sense of shame to be seen eating in front of her new boyfriend.

So she started skipping lunch. She’d still sit with her friends in her form room, just without her packed lunch astride her lap. No-one thought this was odd. But for Sophie, things escalated. She started skipping dinner, ignoring the crying pangs of hunger from her protesting stomach.

‘If I ever ate, I would punish my body afterwards,’ Sophie, now 32, explains to Metro.co.uk. ‘I could never be small enough. If I wasn’t as slim as I could possibly be, I wasn’t lovable. I really believed that.’

Sophie’s attitude followed her well into her late 20s, with huge levels of reconditioning needed for her to stop hating her body.

However, her story is far from unique, with many people (women in particular) recognising the unexplained urge to be slim when it’s not their natural body shape.

While curvier bottoms and brazilian buttlift surgery (albeit paired with a tiny waist) might have boomed in the last decade, recent conversations have done a u-turn focusind once again on ‘heroin chic’ – the extremely thin physique popularised by the models of the 1990s.

It may be easy to dismiss the language around women’s bodies as unimportant, but the impact of seeing certain body types lifted and celebrated cannot be ignored.

UK GPs have recorded a razor sharp rise of teenage girls in the UK developing eating disorders during the coronavirus pandemic, with eating disorder support charity BEAT reporting a 300% increase in calls to its helpline during that period.

However, you don’t necessarily have to look at the extreme end of disordered eating to see the impact a slimmer idealised body shape may be having on young girls and women. Research from This Girl Can found 45% of women are worried about showing their body while getting active in the summer.

Michelle Bliss has been dieting on and off over the years and found herself turning towards the weight loss drug du jour, Ozempic, after reading about its growing popularity on social media.

The medication is only available in the UK to control Type 2 diabetes, and only prescribed for those with a body mass index of 30 and over. However, it can also can be acquired fairly easily off-prescription from online pharmacies.

While it’s been rumoured that many celebrities are prolific users, others have spoken openly about trying the medication to lose or maintain weight. Tesla CEO Elon Musk has publicly said he injects the drug, while former Prime Minister Boris Johnson also confessed to using Ozempic to curb his frequent ‘cheddar and chorizo’ fridge raids.

‘I went to an online pharmacy,’ Michelle, 28, tells Metro.co.uk. ‘They asked for a BMI and a picture of myself, and it was posted to me. I was on and off it for around four months.’

Having always been quite petite as a child, as well as exhibiting eating disorder tendencies, Michelle says she noticed a change in her body after having a baby.

She had previously tried quite extreme diets to drop the pounds, including juice cleanses and one particular regime that saw her only eat six boiled eggs and a few apples a day.

‘I initially wanted to lose the mum pouch,’ she explains. ‘I put more pressure on myself as I always had a smaller frame.’

However, it’s when Michelle’s mother passed away last year that she noticed a significant change in her weight.

‘I used to be really active, eat well and go to the gym,’ she says. ‘But then I became quite sedentary. I wasn’t exercising as much. I didn’t have the motivation – I was grieving. I was staying at home and eating. In the space of three months, I went up 15kg. I had no clothes fit me. I’m two dress sizes bigger. That’s when I went on Ozempic.’

Staying on the drug was difficult though. While Michelle lost around 5kg, the medication’s side effects, which include vomiting, nausea and fatigue, made it hard for her to keep working on top of being a mother.

‘I’ve come off it now as it just didn’t work, she says. ‘It drains the life out of you.’

Michelle, who works as a personal development coach, admits that like most women she’s still after the holy grail of a quick fix to help keep the weight off – and is open to other options such as a gastric balloon. Although she wishes life wasn’t like this.

‘It’s hard to get out of the mindset that has taught us being slim equals success, acceptance and attractiveness,’ she explains.

‘We’re like sheep. If everyone around me, from celebrities to real life, were bigger then I would be happier going up a size too. But it’s the norm to just want to be like everyone else – so while the majority of us are still desperately trying to be slim, that’s not going to change. We are literally being influenced by other people in every aspect of our life, not just on social media.’

While the thin ideal may seem like it has always been the most coveted body shape, historically this hasn’t always been the case. In the 17^th and 18^th century, artists depicted the ideal woman as curvy and voluptuous, with the term Rubenesque entering the lexicon after Peter Paul Rubens’s numerous depictions of fuller-figured women.

‘Idealised body shapes have changed throughout history,’ explains counselor and psychotherapist Cate Campbell. ‘Being pale and large was once a sign that someone had enough money to eat and avoid outdoor work. Not much more than a century ago, body shape was still created by clothes (think puffy sleeves, voluminous skirts and corsets), but after World War I, when women began entering the workforce and participating in sport, clothes became less restrictive and more revealing of body shape.’

Slimness as the ‘ideal’ became increasingly popularised in the 1920s onwards, with the growing availability of mass media and marketing. According to a study published in the journal Sex Roles in 1986, the bust-to-waist ratios among women featured in the magazines Vogue and Ladies Home Journal dwindled by about 60% between 1901 and 1925.

The study reads: ‘Such findings would constitute empirical support for the hypothesis that the mass media play a role in promoting the slim standard of bodily attractiveness fashionable among women.’

While popular media has been influential in how we perceive our bodies, Cate adds there’s additional psychological pressures for women to remain petite.

‘We’re all aware that food and fashion are money spinners but, because women are still socialised to be caring and helpful to others, we feel guilt and shame about appearing to be more interested in ourselves and what’s sometimes perceived as gluttony,’ she explains.

‘In my work, I see many couples where both partners believe they should work hard at keeping in shape – and, therefore, desirable – for the other. Keeping in shape and being fit also projects an ability of control. For many people, being out of shape can mean slovenliness and lack of willpower, which is really not the case and this societal construct around body image needs to continue to be challenged.’

It’s easy to pin the blame on social media, especially as one study published in 2017 found a direct link between Instagram usage and increased symptoms of the eating disorder orthorexia nervosa. However, we’ve long been yearning to be thin way before the World Wide Web struck.

The infamous diet culture of the 80s introduced us to the cabbage soup diet andads asking if you could ‘pinch more than an inch?’, while in the 90s it was the norm for magazine covers to scream ‘drop a stone in six weeks!’ or ‘lose that belly!’

Even when we entered a new millennia, we remained under the spell of fad eating regimes, with The Special K diet being another Kellogg’s case in point – something currently being dragged by Gen Z on TikTok. Established in 2004, the cereal makers promised that women could drop a jean size in two weeks by swapping a meal with a bowl of cereal.

However, as social media arrived from just around the corner, it brought with it a viisibility never experienced before – and with that the beginnings of a newfound acceptance of differing body types.

Even so, more than a decade on from the advent of Insta, the body positivity movement is still fighting an uphill battle.

According to psychiatrist, aesthetic doctor and body specialist Dr Galyna Selezneva, the blame for many’s inescapable desire to be thin lies at the door of both Hollywood and the fashion industry, thanks to ‘decades of imprinted messages’ that skinny is sexy.

‘The most common size in the UK is a size 14 to 16. But there is still this idea that skinny is fashionable, acceptable,’ she says. ‘When the reality is just that a smaller body needs less work creating a garment.’

Howeverm Dr Selezna admits there is a deep societal misunderstanding around weight and health. ‘From a medical perspective, fat is light, muscle is heavy. If anything, we should be looking at the scales and thinking we want to increase muscle weight, to become stronger and get more functional benefits,’ she says. ‘But still we see weight increase as a negative.’

Dr Selezneva adds thatthe age-old message of ‘if you want to be a successful, career driven woman, somehow you had to be skinny’ is being perpetuated today by filters on social media.

‘Just as people want to appear to have smooth skin, they want to appear smaller,’ she says. ‘There must be a reason why a tech company has decided to make a filter to make you look thinner. Why would they even think about it? Even they are driven by this trend.’

However, Sophie Hughes believes social media can be used to encourage positivity and hope amongst its younger userbase.

Unlike the mass media of the early aughts, social media can be curated and tailored to each user’s needs. Removing more toxic body images, and replacing them with more positive role models, is something she found helped her change her attitude towards her own body.

‘We have to take responsibility,’ Sophie explains. ‘For me, social media transformed the way I see my body. It also destroyed the way I saw my body when I chose to follow smaller bodies with toned abs. But when I flipped that and unfollowed people who made me question my self-worth, and started to follow inspiring people who are so confident in themselves and took charge, my social media is positive, inspiring and diverse space.

‘It can be used for so much good for women to support and encourage each other in the body positivity space if that’s what you choose it to be.’

Sophie, who now works as a curve model, also goes into schools to speak to teenagers about developing a positive body image.

‘We’re having more conscious conversations about it. I think that’s how any change comes about,’ she continues. ‘No one came into my school and spoke about body confidence, it just wasn’t a thing. The fact we’re also seeing more diverse bodies amongst brands, even if they are accused of “box ticking”, is important. We’re slowly seeing people being represented. It may be slow, but things are changing.’

Whether the desire for the thin ideal will ever truly go away is uncertain. For Michelle, who worries about her own daughter, she hopes people will learn to love their bodies and accept what they look like regardless of size.

‘I always encourage my daughter to be accepting of her body and be happy with herself,’ she says.

Meanwhile Sophie says we should be moving towards body neutrality – simply being at peace with your appearance – in a bid to help women shake off the burden of generations of body hang-ups.

‘When I first started looking at body positivity, I thought it was about learning to love every inch of myself,’ she explains. ‘I’ve come to the point where it’s about just living a peaceful life without thinking about my body too much.

‘It’s about being in a space where I genuinely grasp that my body is the least interesting thing about me.’

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Fresh-faced and ready to explore the world, he had little on him bar the clothes on his back and a keen sense of adventure.

Costas’ travels took him to Ko Pha Ngan, Thailand – then just a remote island untouched by tourists. It was home to one small fishing family, who took the young man in for three months.

During that time, he explored the island intensely, mapping his adventure for his then girlfriend. She then shared the map with friends, who in turn, spread the word about the idyllic Ko Pha Ngan.

Fast-forward 20 years, and Costas, now a travel journalist, opened the New York Times to find a feature about the island. However, the bountiful white sands and clear blue seas were gone – instead, rubbish lay strewn across the beach, having been trampled on by hedonists looking to seek a good time at one of Ko Pha Ngan’s infamous full moon parties. 

Today, Thailand and its various island offshoots now attract on average 40million tourists a year.

Costas’ story, and many others like this, are described in new documentary, The Last Tourist. Touted as the equivalent of Al Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth for the travel industry, the film exposes the real impact of over tourism in an increasingly delicate ecosystem, and questions whether our wanderlust could be destroying the planet so many of us are desperate to explore.

It’s an innate part of human nature to travel, with the industry having been revolutionised in the 1980s; the growing number of the global middle class, paired with cheaper air travel and bargain package deals meant a holiday abroad was more easily available to greater numbers.

The internet further perpetuated this, with people looking to book a holiday being able to choose a location, flight and hotel in just a matter of clicks.

Social media has also made destinations that seemed unattainable easily accessible – we can replicate the exact holiday a travel influencer took, see the same sights and even take the same pictures thanks to geotagging and location services.

However, according to Tyson Sadler, the director of The Last Tourist, many of these tourist destinations are unprepared for such a steep increase in holidaymakers.

‘I don’t think we were adequately prepared for the impact of geotagging on delicate environments,’ he tells Metro.co.uk. ‘We are seeing the environmental degradation of tourism in fragile areas.’

Paired with the ongoing threat of climate change, Tyson explains that wildfires, like those which occurred in Greece last month, could become all the more damaging.

‘With increased human activity and overcrowded tourist destinations, they experience higher levels of foot traffic and human activity which can lead to fires – even negligent behaviours on behalf of the tourists,’ he explains.

’Some destinations lack the infrastructure to cater to large numbers of visitors which can hamper firefighting responsibilities and response times. Having over-tourism can add immense pressures on natural resources, which leads to things that impact the wildfires such as deforestation and water scarcity.’

But wildfires aren’t the only issue. With all-inclusive stays and resorts often bringing a slice of the western world to far flung countries, they also may prevent tourists from integrating and exploring the country they visit.

While it may sound harmless – and even desirable –  to be able to order Italian cuisine while in Barbados, it can have a significant impact on local surroundings.

Local produce is overlooked for foreign imports, and small shops don’t benefit from the spending power of holidaymakers. Meanwhile, locals are paid poor wages to serve huge corporations.

‘Tourism could bring huge amounts of money to local areas,’ Bruce Poon Tip, founder of the G Adventures travel company explains to Metro.co.uk. ‘But so often, travel is a one-way conversation. The locals receive no custom or benefit of having holidaymakers there.

‘Money is often siphoned off to huge corporations based abroad.

It’s certainly the case in Kenya. While around 2million tourists visit the country to take in the breath-taking sights, it’s thought only 14% of every dollar spent there stays in the country – the rest goes to foreign investors based overseas.

Even travellers with only good intentions can leave disastrous impacts on the country they visit. 

The Last Tourist observes the popularity of animal performances and elephant rides in countries such as Thailand and Cambodia, which are hugely popular with holidaymakers.

However, the documentary highlights the unspeakably cruel conditions these animals are kept in, regularly beaten and drugged into submission in order to be sedated enough to accommodate the thousands of tourists keen to see them perform.

The sharp rise of ‘voluntourism’ is also a cause for concern. Recent figures suggest around 10million people a year travel to volunteer in orphanages in developing countries.

However, the revolving door of young people looking to do good abroad can leave deep psychological scars on particularly vulnerable children, many of whom have insecure attachment styles. Children are also often asked to perform, and are often used as props for Instagram photos.

In The Last Tourist, Clarissa Elakis, Project Co-ordinator at Child Safe International, compared the rise in voluntourism as being akin to ‘zoo tourism’, and believes in some ways it is a new form of neo-colonialism fuelled by a ‘white saviour mindset.’

The popularity of voluntourism has further fed the growing orphanage industrial complex. These facilities have proven to be a lucrative business, with many volunteers expected to pay for their own travel and accommodation.

Since 2005, Cambodia has seen a 75% rise in orphanages – a direct correlation to the amount of people looking to volunteer in the country. Meanwhile, it is thought 80% of children in these facilities have at least one living parent, and are taken to these facilities for financial gain.

With the numerous problems evident in the travel industry, tourism looks to be a worrying and terrifying state of affairs. But the makers of the Last Tourist are keen to stress that their film is intended to be ultimately an optimistic look at how travel can, and should, be done.

Bruce Poon Tip’s G Adventures company – which promises a cultural immersion in a country, working with locals for a sustainable experience that benefits all – has seen a significant rise in business over the last year.

‘People want something new,’ he explains. ‘We’re 30% up on 2019 numbers now. We are seeing people staying longer in destinations and deeper in their travels, with many taking one big holiday a year and really exploring their destination. We’re hoping that trend continues.’

‘I’m cautiously optimistic,’ documentary maker Tyson Sadler agrees. ‘We’re going in the right direction, but it’s about sharing this message of being conscious and responsible. Travel will always have an impact, we can’t change that, but it’s about what we can do to reduce that impact.’

With the coronavirus crisis and the subsequent lockdowns effectively closing down the world for two years, many sustainable tourism industries were hopeful that Covid could serve as a hard reset for the travel industry.

For Bruce, who worked with other larger corporations during the lockdown, he has started to see conversations being had in boardrooms that would have otherwise been unheard of 10 years ago.

‘The COP declaration, which lots of tour operators signed up for, means there’s a huge commitment for us to do better,’ he explains. ‘I know in every board meeting in tourism, sustainability is a conversation. Unfortunately, with the industry having lost so much money in the pandemic, we need to move faster. We could be doing a hell of a lot better. But we’re taking steps in the right direction.’

For Bruce and Tyson, the only way to accelerate these changes is for tourists to demand them. Every dollar, euro or pound spent abroad is a vote on how we want travel to change.

‘When it comes to business, people don’t do things because it’s the right thing to do,’ Bruce says. ‘People do it because the customer demands it. One of the main reasons we made this film is to confront customers with the realities of tourism and get them to make the change.’

Effectively, Bruce continues, travel is a privilege, and not a right – for tourists to appreciate the world we have, we have to change our entire attitude towards our holidays.

‘There are so few people in the world with the ability to say: “I can go on my holidays,’” he explains. ‘You look at the population and the amount of people who can travel. It’s an extreme privilege to be able to do it. But with privilege comes great responsibility.

‘We have the opportunity to transform lives by going on holiday if we do it right. We have to have the mindset that it’s a community experience.

‘People used to want these luxury holidays with the comforts of home, which means the destination is no longer important because you’re bogged down with conveniences. Travel should be so much more than that.’

The Last Tourist can be streamed on Sky and Apple TV in the UK. For more information and to watch the trailer click here.

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‘My mother and father are both addicts and alcoholics. You can imagine a child growing up around that – a house full of drugs, violence, indescribable trauma, strangers in our home off their heads,’ remembers Wayne, who shares his story under a pseudonym.

It was this combination of addiction and isolation that made the teenager a prime target for violent gangs and a victim of criminal exploitation forced to sell drugs to pay off an ongoing debt he knew he would never be able to settle.

Recalling how his life spiralled out of control, Wayne says it all started when he got his first job. ‘I was befriended by a guy. This was where the exploitation started.’

Soon the two were meeting up outside of work to smoke weed. Then one day the friend turned up at his house asking him to sell two big ounces of cannabis. Instead of selling it however, Wayne smoked the lot. ‘It was like Christmas come early,’ he admits. 

What he didn’t know at the time, was that he had been targeted by his ‘friend’, who was really part of a gang that operated in fraud and exploitation, and demanded he gave back £300 for what he’d smoked.

‘So, I started trying to sell drugs for him to pay off this money, but he’s giving me more and more drugs. I’m smoking more, so this debt’s getting higher and higher,’ recalls Wayne. 

As well as paying off his initial debt of £300, Wayne’s friend kept adding interest making the amount impossible to settle. When he couldn’t, he was driven to a secluded area where a gang of men threatened to shoot Wayne if he didn’t pay the money he owed. They also made it clear they knew where his mother lived.

Although Wayne managed to cobble together the cash owed from a friend, the gang continued to demand more – and didn’t stop for three years. In that time, Waynemoved out of the family home in a bid to keep them safe, and began living on the streets. By the time he turned up to a dry house four years later, all he had was a black bag and a coat inside of it. ‘I had no passport, no birth certificate,’ he remembers.

Although Wayne has since managed to turn his life around with the support of  a rehab programme through the dry house and is now sober and working in social care, the impact of being exploited in such a brutal manner has left its mark.

‘It’s tough. My mental health is never steady,’ he admits. ‘I live with the effects of exploitation. I live with the effect of homelessness, the trauma, and will probably be living with it for the rest of my life.’

Wayne is just one of the hundreds of people that has been helped by the anti-slavery charity Unseen over the years. Although his experience may not fit the bill of what a ‘modern slavery’ victim might look like, his experiences of exploitation at the hands of hardened criminals proves that there’s no one size fits all. 

In fact, according to Andrew Wallis, Unseen’s CEO, it’s key that people understand that exploitation can happen to anyone – traffickers have no respect for race, sex, nationality, education level, they just look for a vulnerable person.

What’s just as concerning is that last year was the busiest year for the charity’s helpline, which operates 24/7 and 365 days a year, with an 116% increase from the previous year in calls about potential victims and a shocking 70% rise in modern slavery cases being reported. 

‘Over the seven years for which the helpline has been running, there has been a steady increase,’ explains Andrew, although he’s keen to stress that this is not just down to a rising number of victims, it’s also due to better understanding of the issue. ‘2022 saw people coming out of the pandemic, there is more awareness of our helpline,’ he says.

Andrew also believes that this is also due to the trust victims have in the charity, saying that Unseen are ‘the only national helpline of scale around the globe that doesn’t receive government funding.’ Which means that victims may feel a confidence that their data won’t be shared with immigration officials or other officials. 

‘That level of confidentiality and safety is absolutely key for victims,’ he says.

However, that doesn’t mean the charity works under a veil of secrecy. In fact, they often share the stories of those they have helped, such as Wayne, albeit anonymously, so victims feel secure that they can’t be tracked down by their abusers. 

‘We want to highlight how easy it is to be trafficked,’ Andrew tells Metro.co.uk. ‘A reason why victims want to speak about their experiences is that they don’t want others to go through what they have. It also reinforces the deception phase of recruitment and shows that anyone can be trafficked and be a victim of modern slavery.

‘The range of emotions that victims go through vary on a case-by-case basis,’ adds Andrew. 

Some have just been pulled out by the police and are turning up to Unseen literally with their worldly possessions or just the clothes that the police have given to them, he explains. While others come through a local authority such as Unseen or the Salvation Army and are referred via the national referral mechanism.

‘Victims can feel guilt, anger, or even feel stupid for putting themselves in that situation,’ he explains. ‘I remember one client telling us they were told by their exploiters: “You amount to nothing, if you step out of line, we will just kill you and toss your body. No one will find you; you are worthless.”

‘Traffickers think of their victim as valuable while they are making money for them. In essence, it is an economic crime, it is all about making money with horrendous human rights outcomes.’

Another story shared on Unseen’s website is that of Priscilla, a victim of modern slavery, who was abused for years and forced to live in hellish conditions.

Orphaned at a young age when she was living in South Africa, she was sent to live with her grandmother nearby who had very little money, and couldn’t afford to send her to school.

Instead, the little girl stayed at home and helped out with chores. One day Priscilla – who also goes by a pseudonym – was told by her grandmother that she had found her work in the UK, and gave her a passport and airline tickets. 

However, instead of living the life she dreamed she might have in England, the young girl found herself trapped in a private family house, treated as a slave, and made to feel worthless constantly for years. 

Although Priscilla doesn’t detail what she was forced to go through, there have been countless cases of young women being trafficked to the UK and kept virtual prisoners, having to endlessly cook and clean for families, while receiving no wages or time off. Some have even been expected to have sex as part of their job. 

Priscilla reveals that although she eventually managed to escape ,with nowhere to go, she was forced to live on the streets. As her mental health declined, she was eventually found by the authori and sectioned. 

It was while she was recovering in hospital that Priscilla was put in touch with Unseen, and eventually released to one of their safe houses. There, she received support to help with her trauma and took part in music therapy, cooking and nutrition classes. 

‘I have seen changes in my life,’ she says. ‘I was unable to make decisions for myself before. Now I make my own decisions. I’m happy that I can do things by myself.’ 

With an estimated 100,000 – 130,000 victims of modern slavery in the UK right now, Andrew believes far more needs to be done to tackle the issue. 

‘It doesn’t sit on the national threat assessment level at which it should,’ he says. ‘There is an issue of funding, a lack of training and awareness on the matter. I cannot say that every police officer knows what modern slavery is, how to identify it and deal with it or that every agency understands what modern slavery and knows how to report on it. We are nowhere near that.’

He adds that it’s not just the police who need better training either – local government and NHS staff could also benefit. 

Asked whether the Ukraine War has had an impact on these numbers, Andrew admits it’s undeniable. ‘Four and a half million women and children fleeing… There are traffickers at the border, and we are also finding people across the borders and in the UK already,’ he says.

Speaking about what he would want to see happen going forward with preventing modern slavery and exploitation, Andrew explains there are several changes that need to be made. ‘One is that we need to upgrade legislation in the UK. The government promised two years ago to bring forward the modern slavery legislation and they still haven’t done this,’ he says. 

‘Secondly, I want to see manifesto commitments from every party that they will bring forward this legislation. Thirdly, upgrade the transparency and supply piece within the legislation so companies have to report all incidents of modern slavery and explain if there is none.’

Andrew also says that the government already has the tools to make things better, pointing out that the Modern Slavery Act 2015, Section 54 states: ‘the home secretary can take any company to court who hasn’t produced a modern slavery report.’  

However, he adds, there have been thousands of companies who haven’t produced a Modern Slavery Statement but not one home secretary has taken anyone to court. ‘This is a local, national, and global problem – but there is only around 1% successful prosecutions of crimes related to modern slavery.’

However, there is a chink of hope. Unseen believe that by sharing the harrowing stories of those who have experienced exploitation, the more it will be uncovered.

After all, Andrew points out, a quarter of calls to the helpline come from victims, which means the rest – and the resulting increase in calls – are from people coming forward to report a form of slavery or exploitation. 

‘The more you look for exploitation, the more you find it,’ he says. 

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‘It’s exhausting – and terrible for your mental health.’ 

As one of the performers taking part in this year’s Manchester Pride, Reeta is shedding light on the reality of belonging to both LGBTQ+ and Asian communities. 

‘You’d never see Asians in queer spaces because those spaces didn’t feel safe for us. Meanwhile, we couldn’t be ourselves in Asian spaces either,’ they add. ‘I remember when we could never fully be ourselves anywhere.’ 

Reeta, who performs under the name of RAIN and also works as a producer and poet, tells Metro.co.uk that it was after losing their family when they came out, that inspired them to help others in similar situations. 

‘Unfortunately, loss of family and culture is still common in our community and something we live in fear of,’ Reeta explains. ‘If we do lose family or choose to leave, like I did, it can become a very isolating experience.’ 

In 2017, 10 years after coming out to their family – and 21 years after coming out to themselves – Reeta founded Gaysians, a volunteer-led movement to connect queer Asians, increase positive media visibility and improve access to support services.  

‘We’ve come a long way since we didn’t see versions of ourselves in the media or nightlife or on the street. We’re more visible now and I’m immensely proud,’ says Reeta.  

‘As recently as a decade ago you didn’t see queer South Asians on screen or in clubs. We’ve worked extremely hard to mainstream our narratives and it’s incredible seeing where we are today, whether that’s performing at Glastonbury, writing for TV, or starring in TV soaps and Marvel films.

‘I’m a shop kid’, Reeta continues. ‘From the age of six I was working at the till and later delivering newspapers. I can only imagine how differently life would have turned out for me and my family if we’d seen positive representations of queer south Asians in the papers back then. Every one of us matters and I want us all to know that and really believe it.’ 

RAIN is just one of the star turns at Manchester Pride later this month, as part of the event’s Queer Asian Takeover, curated and hosted by iconic drag queen Lucky Roy Singh. 

Manchester-based Lucky – who cites Indian-British model Neelam Kaur Gill among their style influences – is house mother to the House of Spice, an collective of performers of Asian, Middle Eastern and North African heritage. 

As the driving force behind this year’s Queer Asian Takeover, they explain: ‘The idea was formed out of a community session held with Manchester Pride and [artistic director of dance collective Ghetto Fabulous and founder of Black Pride Manchester] Darren Pritchard. 

‘It’s the first of its kind,’ adds Lucky. 

‘We don’t have enough people like me in queer spaces. Drag [show] line-ups are often all-white, particularly in cabaret. There’s almost no intersectionality or accountability from bookers or many of the booked artists involved. That’s what makes this event so important and historic. Other Prides should take note.’ 

The Queer Asian Takeover has been co-curated with local activities and performers like Singh, and will centre queer Asian joy, showcasing over 22 performers and collectives, including Val The Brown Queen, Gracie T, Club Zindagi and headliner DJ Gok Wan. 

Celebrating and elevating the art, experiences and stories of marginalised queer people feels more crucial than ever, to help combat the very real discrimination the community continues to face both in the UK and abroad. 

In 2022, the UK saw a 41% increase in anti-LGB hate crimes, and a 56% rise in transphobic hate crimes. Meanwhile, queer people of colour often facing dual discrimination, with over half having experienced racism within the LGBT community. 

This is what has led many community leaders, performers and activists to begin carving out their own spaces. 

‘My favourite singer is Leslie Cheung, an incredible Hong Kong pop singer, who sadly took his own life after being rejected for his sexuality and gender expression,’ singer-songwriter and model Jason Kwan tells Metro.co.uk. 

‘I was just a child when I saw the news [of Leslie’s death] on TV, but also knew I was queer and wanted to sing. That’s what pushed me to apply for a music scholarship and hardship fund and move to the UK when I was a teenager.’

Desperate to avoid the queerphobia Leslie Cheung face, Jason left Hong Kong as a teen, however he was sadly met with a different type of discrimination when first arriving in the UK. 

‘In Hong Kong, I’d never experienced racism as a minority, but when I arrived in the UK, people didn’t like me talking about being Asian’, says Jason. 

‘They didn’t like me singing in Chinese’ and my culture was parodied or appropriated, which made me want to hide my Asianness.’ 

Today, Jason is co-director of The Bitten Peach, the UK’s first queer pan-Asian and gender diverse cabaret collective, who closed the Manchester Pride Cabaret Stage in 2022.  

Since launching in 2019, it has hosted over 70 shows, platforming over 70 artists and selling over 3000 tickets. 

‘The Bitten Peach was my debut into London’s queer scene’, remembers Jason. “Before that, I was in straight bars in Camden singing covers for hardly any money.’ 

The collective also supports budding performers within the queer Asian community. 

‘We connect people to mentors and help them speak to people of similar experiences’, Jason continues.  

‘Our research found that the biggest barrier to entering the arts for young east and southeast Asians is their parents not wanting them to’. 

Although, family can play a large part in queer art and performance, often central to the stories we see on screen and stage, for example in the run-up to coming out or the aftermath of it.  

Reeta explains: ‘I’ve realised that the reason I lost my family was so I could heal and find happiness. My show [The Remedy] is about this journey.’ 

‘I’ve more recently been reconnecting with my family of origin. In fact, my father reached out to me for the first time in 15 years while I was touring the show. I realised this meant I would need to adapt its ending.’ 

‘I was obviously overjoyed to hear from my dad! But I also have had to reconcile a lot of complex emotions”, Loi reflects. Overall, I’m glad we have a chance to be in each other’s lives again and support each other. I’ve missed him more than words can say.’ 

Reeta, who is now transitioning to the name of RAIN, recently came out as non-binary. 

‘Our stories and experiences, just like our identities, have fluidity,’ they explain. Reeta will always be a part of mine, but at 45 I’m incredibly excited to start a new one with RAIN.’ 

Similarly, Lucky cites the familial influence of their work, and how this has been received from family members since. 

‘My style is very East meets West. It’s Bollywood, Indian, glamour and diamonds,’ Lucky tells Metro.co.uk.  

‘I took inspiration from watching the women and fabrics around me, bringing both [British and Indian] parts of my identity together. 

‘In 2021 I did a show for Trans Vegas [the UK’s largest festival celebrating trans artists] about watching my mum get dressed and ready in the morning, and how the fabrics made her feel’, they say. 

‘That’s the style my performances often take. Holding a mirror up to women like the ones I grew up around, showing them their fierceness and power’, Lucky continues.  

‘I’ve had female family members come to see my drag and they watch it in awe, because they see it’s inspired by their beauty.’ 

Meanwhile, Jason adds, ‘My mum flew from Hong Kong for The Bitten Peach’s first Udderbelly show [which took place on London’s Southbank]. She’d never watched anything like it and I’m probably the only openly queer person she knows. And she loved it. 

‘I do think how she received it was helped by its mainstream environment, in a Spiegel tent with lots of straight, white and middle-class audience members. I think for her it was important to see me being celebrated by people outside of my community, and in the majority, as this was a clearer marker that I was safe and accepted.’ 

While representation has started to improve in queer performance arts, thanks to work by groups like Gaysians, House of Spice and The Bitten Peach, the discrimination faced by queer people of colour remains very real. 

‘Canal Street continues to be rife with racism’, says Lucky Roy Singh, whose petition ‘End Racism In Manchester’s Gay Village’ has garnered almost 900 responses. 

‘I’ve experienced this in various forms throughout my life’, they continue, ‘and it urgently needs addressing’. 

This doesn’t just include members of the public but staffing too. 

‘We’ve seen and experienced racist door staff and, despite reporting it to venues’ management, hear nothing back. Is it a lack of education on inclusion issues, or a deliberate refusal to be educated on them?’ 

Education has formed a large part of Lucky Roy Singh’s activism, in particular on honour-based violence, which they themselves experienced in their 20s. 

‘I was failed by police, hospitals and victim support groups. Since therapy, I’ve campaigned to make honour-based violence recognised as a specific form of abuse, rather than just a cultural issue.’, Lucky says. 

‘I’ve trained 98 police officers, including Scotland Yard and Greater Manchester Police. I share my story with them, and the signs that previous officers had missed and failed to act on.’  

‘The training started as compulsory but has since been made mandatory, which I think is a great thing. Education is so important.’ 

So at a time where education and solidarity is more important than ever, what does allyship to queer Asians look like? 

‘It’s important to understand that ‘coming out’ most likely won’t look the same for many queer Asians [as it will other queer people]. It often takes longer for us to access our identity for ourselves’ says Reeta.  

‘Be sensitive and kind and don’t ask questions like “do your family know?” or “are they religious?” as these questions can trigger painful memories or cause anxiety’, they continue. 

‘Instead, offer us company, in particular during times of the year that can be tough, like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, family events such as weddings or religious festivals. I wish my friends had offered to take me to [queer Asian club night] Club Kali when I was struggling, as seeing other people like me would have made a huge difference to the isolation I was experiencing.’ 

For those outside of the community, a big part of allyship is supporting the art. 

‘Around 60% of our audiences are white, and they’re great allies. They love learning, taking part and having fun with us’, Jason explains.  

While Lucky says, ‘Support Asian artists. Acknowledge our art and our fashion and where it comes from. I want people to know that they can embrace it, but with respect and while knowing what it means.’

And that can start with attending and supporting this year’s Queer Asian Takeover at Manchester Pride, they add. ‘It’s going to be fierce and fun. Expect an infusion of celebration, colour, spice, fashion and culture… What more could you ask for?’

For more information about this year’s Manchester Pride, click here.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk. 

Share your views in the comments below.

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Even so, she says she has been left with a lifetime of treasured memories, thanks to the impact the legendary artist had on her growing up.

‘My mom was the enforcer – you have parents who are like that,’ Cedella, now 55, tells Metro.co.uk.

‘One is the enforcer and the other one just spoils you rotten. Any time she would scold us he would come home and he would see us looking like we were scolded, and be like “Come, let’s come get some ice cream.”

‘He was that dad that would come in after you’ve done something wrong and make you think it wasn’t that bad. “Let’s go get some hamburgers and some ice cream and then you’ll be okay.” Those are some of my favourite memories because when Daddy passed I was only 13 years old. It’s not a lot of those memories I have, so the ones we do have I cherish.’

Over the years Cedella has since worked hard to continue her father’s legacy and is now set to release a new album of Bob Marley & The Wailers songs 40 years after his death.

As a musician and author, Cedella is the eldest biological child of the legendary artist, and says she hopes new record Africa Unite will help bring his voice and message to younger generations.

However, Cedella adds, growing up the daughter of Bob Marley wasn’t easy in Jamaica, where he was ‘not popular or well-liked’.

‘Having the Marley name was like “Oh lord, not them not these dirty Rastas,”‘ she recalls.

‘That’s what it was like growing up in Jamaica. I had friends who, if they wanted to spend the weekend with me, would have to tell their parents they were going to Jackie’s house because their parents wouldn’t allow them to come to my house.

‘Which was weird, because I thought my house was cooler than theirs. I’m not saying their fathers were stumbling drunks or whatever, but my father wasn’t at home just smoking herb and strumming his guitar. He was a good father, and my mother was a remarkable mother. So having that name in Jamaica did not open doors, did not give you any favours. And that’s good for us, because we had to work harder.’

Even as time passed and Marley’s influence and legacy grew – being just as strong today 40 years after his death – Cedella and his other children were never offered any special treatment and were far from today’s so-called ‘nepo babies’.

‘The name changed but we didn’t. We are still the same overachievers, the same people we were back then,’ she explains.

‘Some things that happen to you in childhood you never forget. You don’t forget how people treated you or your parents. My mom was shot in her head, they tried to kill my father. It’s things like those that you remember, you remember the people who did it – and why they wanted to do it.

‘It’s like they try and kill your parents because they sing about peace, love and unity. Who does that? Really and truly, who does that? So that’s the lineage we come from.

‘We were never born with a golden spoon, we all had to accomplish what we had to accomplish on our own. And yeah we were born with that name, but we didn’t choose it. We’re never gonna deny who we are to please anyone. A lot of people are going to have to get over that stuff.’

Marley was just 36 years old when he died, but to say he lived a lot in his short years would be an understatement, and fans will get a glimpse into his life in upcoming biopic One Love.

The film, starring Kingsley Ben-Adir as Marley and Lashana Lynch his wife Rita, was shot on location in Jamaica and London, and explores the singer’s time in the UK capital where he wrote acclaimed album Exodus.

Cedella was present for much of the filming, and admits it was ‘bittersweet’ and at times ‘difficult’ to see parts of her parents’ lives laid out that she wasn’t there for.

‘Honestly speaking, it was hard. Because you’re watching your parents’ life being told in front of you. I wasn’t on the road with Daddy so to see some of the experiences on the road in front of you, to see some of his life was difficult to sit there and watch day after day,’ she explains.

‘But it was also therapeutic. I’m grown-grown now, and they were so young. I think when Daddy went to London he was like late twenties, early thirties, and now I’m in my fifties.

‘It was bittersweet, but my parents were very young going through a lot of things… I think we take our life for granted sometimes.’

Even stranger were the moments she did remember, admits Cedella. One scene in the film sees her mother Rita, in Jamaica with the children, on the phone to the War singer who is over 4000 miles away in London, and asking “don’t you miss thie children? When are you coming back? The children miss you…”

‘I remember that phone call vividly. I can still see it. So to be able to watch their lives unfold in front of me was very educational and touching – and emotional. It was a lot of things, but I was happy I was there to experience it.’

Cedella says that she feels ‘grateful’ to be able to ‘see the struggle but also see the redemption’ in the film, and is especially ‘grateful I was born to these two, to Bob and Rita.’

‘I couldn’t have asked for better parents,’ she adds. ‘And if what they say is true, a spirit of a child chooses who their parents are gonna be, I think I chose well.’

It’s her love and respect for her parents and their work to unify people, that led Cedella to work on new album Africa Unite, which sees modern African artists take on iconic Bob Marley & The Wailers tracks in a unique posthumous collaboration with the legendary musician.

One track, Them Belly Full (But We Hungry) even features his grandson, Cedella’s son Skip Marley, along with Rema with other artists including Tiwa Savage, Ami Faku, Teni, Oxlade, Arya Starr and more.

It would have been ‘very important to Daddy to be able to reach those young African artists and collab with them,’ Cedella says.

‘The album showcases the importance of Daddy in today’s Africa. I think he would have loved and be proud of what we have.’

Marley was famed for encouraging peace, love and unity through his music, howeverCedella says that in the last few decades ‘not much has changed.’

She adds: ‘In some instances, it’s gotten worse. I’m sitting where I am, you’re sitting where you are, but there are wars happening in the world.

‘Daddy has always been a voice for the voiceless. This would have troubled him.’

Africa Unite is ‘reaching out to a generation’ who may not have heard Marley’s message, which is why they secured ‘some of the top performers out of Africa… to have a track with Daddy, we’re going to engage those listeners,’ explains Cedella.

‘We’re bringing the message to that generation now. It’s just amazing we can use the voice of the youth and the voice of Daddy, bring them together, and the music will speak for itself.

‘And I think we’re going to get a beautiful response.’

Africa Unite is available to stream and buy now.

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